I don’t think explanations are required.
Fuck you, Morning Sickness fairy, for your constant gift of nausea (that’s for my wife).
Fuck you, Shingles, that’s just what I need right now.
And fuck moving and remodeling at the same time.
Yeah, it’s been a fun weekend.
Hasbro, fuck you for making toys that make noise when you push some incredibly easy-to-push button. We were picking up my husband’s old Transformer toys over the weekend (yeah, we’re geeks), and every. freaking. time. someone picked up the box Jetfire’s gun went off.
I’m also not looking forward to trying to figure out which robot all those tiny loose pieces–ammo mostly, with a few body parts (none of Waspinator, oddly enough)–belongs to.
The undead go Christmas shopping on Black Friday.
I know this because they fear not death but love a bargain.
I can’t begin to tell you how many times this weekend immortal beings stepped out in front of my car, along with their undead children and undead pets, as if getting hit by a car was the least of their concerns. The strongest reaction came in the form of a dirty look from a Hag walking her zombie Yorkie on a huge retractable leash. Her corpse was on the sidewalk but her familiar’s was already 1/2way across the busy intersection. I slowed, mistakenly thinking I needed to take care for her safety but as she-who-walks-her dog cannot die, she teetered into traffic rather than reel in her furball.
I think getting hit by a mid-sized luxury sedan’s gonna leave a mark no matter how dead you already are, but that’s just me.
Yeah me too. Or sort of a paper, it’s a final project that includes a paper about our recommendations for a network for a company. I have to make up a paper, print off a hard copy for the teacher as well as submit an electronic copy AND create a powerpoint which I must present to the class… next Monday.
And the Dell website is being a bitch to me when all I need are reasonable numbers (with proof). It keeps fucking up when I get to a certain point on a build. I have to go over my notes because I remember why I hated networking class and declined to complete my CCNA certification. I’d taken this cuz I thought it would be simple, and I suppose it is simpler than CCNA, but I despise it just as much though I don’t have to physically build the LAN. I just have to do it on paper. I went into business to escape this!
Plus, because they changed things after I failed a last couple courses and due to health and money issues had to take time off, I might have to take more courses. I have two sheets telling me two different things (yes, I graduate after I complete this course and no I need to retake 2 courses and do another to meet grad requirements) and my director can’t tell me which is true. He ‘supposes’ I’ll graduate after this course. I need to know for certain if I can plan to apply to the gov’t right away or do I have to do more and wait longer?
And fuck me for not working harder sooner, except I have a lot on my plate right now. Even in the next two weeks. I’m finishing driving lessons, have to plot around an active almost 4 year old as a single parent, plan a birthday party (and clean the house which has fallen into a cluttered pile as I try to plot around him and do all the homework while being semi-sick), go to a Christmas party (for Velociraptor, if it was just me I’d say no I have things to do but it’s for him) and finish my Christmas knitting, which I’m whittling down as I decide I don’t have time to finish it all.
It’ll work out, I’ll manage to juggle and balance it as long as I don’t get a crazy ear and sinus infection like I did last time it got like this. But the PMS is NOT helping right now either!
Meanwhile, I pit people who think they know better than I do about what temperature I prefer and what clothing I choose to wear. Dammit, I’m not cold, my house thermostat is at 64, and when my wife thinks “I’m chilly, therefore he’s chilly” and throws the quilt over both of us at night, I wake up with the itchy sweats a half-hour later.
Someone tell me again why we’re running payroll with an old buggy program on our worst, oldest, shittiest computer, instead of using a more stable program on a better computer like I suggested when I first started working here and running payroll, months ago. I’m putting some of the payroll information into the newer program today, or will, assuming the old computer stays on long enough at a stretch for me to get the information I need from it.
I’ll be doing that this week. Fortunately my computer is being rebuilt so I can use that as an excuse to get a two-day extension on my Dreaded Sociolinguistics Project. Fuck you Sociolinguistics. You sound cool and all, but you are dry technical shit. If I didn’t need this TESOL certification I would tell you to go hang.
And to my ex-boyfriend’s new abusive girlfriend: I know what you’re doing. I know your twisted little mind has decided that I’m trying to lure him back with my feminine wiles. Guess what honey? I don’t want anything that’s been near your twat. I like him AS A FRIEND. I’m trying to help him AS A FRIEND. You can stop the passive-aggressive long-distance controlling shit because it’s making him depressed and me angry. If you ever call again at 1 a.m. EST (and don’t tell me you forgot the time zone difference) I will WALK my happy ass up to Alberta to flay you slowly. I hope you never see your kids again.
SpazCat, who only got three (3) hours of sleep last night thanks to Twat’s untimely phone call.
The shirt I can understand, but objecting to them wearing shorts? Dude, I can wear shorts in any weather, (unless it’s sub-zero Fahrenheit, in which case I probably won’t.) and if any part of me is cold, it won’t be my legs, because they are hairy. My legs are never cold even when I am outside in cold weather wearing shorts.
Now, if they’re swimmers, that’s a whole 'nother kind of crazy.
Nope - not in the freezer. And I’ve been retired for the past year, so unless you mean the freezer where you work…
If you listened closely in the deepest still of Thursday night, you could hear their moaning lament: Door-busters! Door-busters! Half-off Sunbean toasters at Wal-Mart, Friday only!
Hey guy, when I walk into the deli and you are standing so far back the door practically hit you in the back when I walked in, don’t act all offended when I walk around you to stand in line at the phone-order counter which is 10 feet away. How in the hell am I supposed to know that you are waiting for a phone order too? Get in line if you want to go next. Don’t hang back and then be all “EXCUSE ME! I was next!” after I have already asked for my food.
I pit the 12 year old boys that seem to run the mall in packs.
there is a sign that says more than 5 kids together; if you’re loud then out you go.
there are security personnel on Segways in the mall to enforce this.
It is Monday morning at 10 am–how and why are you here? You have school. Schools around here had last Thursday and Friday off. :dubious:
I pit these kids only because I must have seen 10 of them–not together, more like groups of 3 and 4. Still, 
I am not concerned for my safety in the slightest, but I don’t get why they’re not in school. Plus, they are noisy as all get out.
I often wore t-shirts and shorts in winter during college. I couldn’t be bothered to put on more clothes, especially if I was only going to be outside for a short time. I still hate wearing long pants, and will generally go out in my shorts for quick errands regardless of the temperature. It’s not to prove how tough I am, it’s just that a bit of cold is less of an inconvenience to me than putting on clothes that I find uncomfortable (I also forgo shoes if I can).
Dear Pet Sitter,
According to the contract we both signed, you were to visit the house once a day beginning on Thursday and ending yesterday. Each day, you were going to put out fresh food and water for my kitties, scoop their litter boxes and bring in the newspaper. I knew something was wrong when I opened the back door into the mudroom and could HEAR my kitties crying through another solid door—they were absolutely frantic with thirst because YOU apparently didn’t give a rat’s ass about that contract.
If you’d provided fresh food and water each of the four days I paid you to do so, my kitties would have had both water and food left when I got home last night. But the huge water dish was bone dry, so it was obvious no water had been put in there for a couple of days. And not even a stray kibble remained in the area where the food dishes are—do you know how rare that is? It takes a lot of work to vacuum up their spilled kibble.
In my world, scooping once a day means the poop box outside would have four additional bags of scooped stuff in addition to the bags I put in there. But nope, I counted and you scooped just one time. To top it off, I had just one newspaper in my house. The other three—from Friday, Saturday AND Sunday—were still outside in my front yard. Don’t even bother trying to say you came more than once.
If something happened and you needed to bail, why didn’t you call me? You made such a big damn deal about having my phone number and contact information. So why didn’t you call?
I guess I’m lucky my kitties didn’t die from lack of water.
Believe me, that’s the last time I’ll ever use your services or the services of the company you work for. And I do have a big mouth and have and will continue to tell everyone about what a crappy job you did.
Please inform the company she works for if you didn’t hire her independently. Many pet sitters are good and work to the contract and beyond. Her employer may not know she is a slacker and needs to know so other pets don’t go through what yours did.
Goddamn fucking nosebleeds. The ones I get because of allergies in the summer are actually better, because then I’ve usually got some warning (sneezing fit = grab an extra handful of tissues). But in the winter, when there’s no moisture whatsoever anywhere, it’s just…tralala, eating lunch, reading for class, dripping blood…fuck!
Also, they turned the heat off in all the academic buildings over Thanksgiving break, and didn’t actually turn it on until 9 this morning, which made my 9 AM class really damn cold. And the class sucks anyway, and I can’t stand one guy in it.
And I’ve got three papers to write this week, then a fourth due by the end of the semester, I’m insanely stressed out, there’s some ridiculous shit going on with the ‘family life’ that I shouldn’t let bother me so much but it is anyway, and I’m just a big, cold, bleeding-from-the-nose heap of grumpy today. :mad:
I did submit feedback through their online form today, and someone called me this afternoon.
She asked me why I thought the sitter hadn’t come each day so I mentioned the reasons why. As I told the company lady, most of the missed tasks were not essential but no water can kill pretty quickly.
The company is going to contact the sitter to “get her side of it.” I said that’s fine, also I want my keys back please and I will never use her again. I’d be up for trying again with the company but not with her.
I’ve never heard my kitties cry like that, entirely frantic and desperate, and I hope I never do again.
Would you rather be too hot or too cold? The campus squirrels have launched another strike in their War Against Humanity over the break: the library has hot spots. Hot spots concentrated over the group study rooms. Right before exams when the study rooms are booked near solid. And there’s no way of telling which is the Special Broasting Room on a day-to-day basis.
Ever since Hurricane Floyd those squirrels have been getting cheeky. It’s time to bring back the Campus Cats.
Jesus fucking christ. How long have I been at this job? Awhile, who gives a fuck. Long enough, apparently. But listen now: what happened this morning is, by far, the. Stupidest. Fucking. Thing. I. Have. Seen. Ever. At. This. Job.
And let me just say that I can dig it. You’re the type of jackoff senior partner who gets his nips hard on the idea of me entering his personal changes into a document. It makes you feel important to squander both a client’s resources and my fucking time having me do secretarial work. Fine, I don’t care, I’m over it, give me the fucking changes and I’ll type them in and you explain the bill to your client. La la la I’ll just sit here typing in your changes like I wasn’t the motherfucking editor of my fucking law review and my time spent doing this could pay rent on the whole motherfucking city, la la la.
Ok. But what do you do when you’re one of these pretentious asswipes and your office is 100 miles away?
Well apparently, if YOU HAPPEN TO BE THE STUPIDEST FUCKING ASSHOLE IN THE UNIVERSE, you HANDWRITE your fucking changes onto the page, have your assistant SCAN IN THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS, then you **EMAIL ** them .pdf to me, who has never seen your subliterate neanderthal handwriting before, so I can stand there at the printer WAITING for these shitty .pdf pages to print one…at…a…time just so I can then sit down and do HERE what your fucking assistant should be doing THERE.
Did I mention there’s a deadline? Of now?
You fucking retarded ape. You miserable sack of gimped up flyshit, you are so dense if I kicked your ass into the sun I’d get a rip in the fabric of motherfucking spacetime. We’re going to the same Christmas party and I am going to staple your idiot pumpkin head to the carpet and shit in your mouth. Fuck you, rocket scientist.
You too? I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!
It scares the fuck out of me. I wake up slowly and can’t move. :eek: