Rate The Kid's (Pre-School) Shows

Cafe Society
1

The Small One is 2, and so when she comes home after daycare, likes to watch a few TV shows. I have decided to rate all these shows just for the hell of it and invite other parents to rate them as well. I’m going to rate basically every show we’ve ever watched on Treehouse. (A Canadian network, but most of these names will be known to our US dopers.)

Just as pre-emptive strike, if you come in here to criticize me for letting my kid watch TV, go to hell. She gets plenty of exercise and we limit her viewing.

In looking at my list, I note some strong trends:

a) There is a general correlation between the use of primary colors and the show’s appeal to the Countess von Wigglestein.

b) There is also a general correlation between the use of music and the show’s appeal to the Small Girl.

c) There is an inverse correlation between the show’s quality and how Canadian it is; a show actually financed entirely or for the most part by the Canadian government will usually be putrid.

I’ll rank them from best to worst:

  1. The Wiggles, aka “Network Wiggles.” I don’t know what it is those guys do, but they’re absolutely hypnotizing to the Small Girl; she saw it once, and was asking for more Wiggles right away. Like most really good kiddie shows, The Wiggles is primarily musical. It’s reasonably enjoyable for adults, inasmuch as you’re watching masters at work, and the music’s catchy and I can dance with the Small One. Music is critically important. It’ll be interesting to see if the loss of Greg, who was unquestionably the Alpha Wiggle, will affect the show’s quality, but I’m guessing not.

  2. Pocoyo. The one exception to the “songs = quality” rule, though each episode’s only six minutes long and they do use music, just not directly (usually.) The animation’s cool, the characters are excellent, and it teaches lessons while remaining fun.

  3. Elmo’s World. I’m shocked Elmo ranks this high, given how much he’s despised, but his show is pretty good. The thing that grates on you is his schtick of always referring to himself in the third person but the show is otherwise very good; strong use of color, use of kids, and it moves snappily.

  4. Dora the Explorer. This show’s a tough go for adults, but it appeals tremendously to children and being the father of a girl I like seeing female leads. The show’s repetition of dialogue makes it hard on grownup ears but is a key part of its appeal to kids.

  5. Play With Me Sesame. I guess you could exchange this with the Elmo show if you wanted. The usual excellence one expects of the Sesame Street.

  6. Go Diego Go! Higher production values than Dora, and I think it’s aiming a bit higher in terms of age group, but if often seems dumber for some reason. The lead character, for some reason, YELLS ALL HIS DIALOGUE. Every word. Definitely not as appealing as Dora to the Wigglebeast, but she still likes it. Amusing to note that Rosie Perez plays Click the Camera. Remember her?

  7. The Backyardigans. Excellent music and some adult appeal, but episode quality is extremely unpredictable; some are very good, some not so much.

  8. Wonder Pets. Simple and funny, with lots and lots of singing.

  9. Barney. God, how I hate that big purple bastard. It’s fashionable to talk about how much you hate Barney, so much so that I always assumed it was overkill. But he really IS hard for adults to take. The show is terribly insipid and has none of the self-awareness of most kid’s shows. However, the Small One loves him. He has undeniable appeal.

  10. Toopy and Binoo. The only Canadian-government-funded show that isn’t complete shite. Toopy (or is it Binoo?) will drive you bonkers, but the show seems enjoyable to the Small Girl.

  11. Dragon. Slow and has no music, but fun for parents and seems to appeal to the Little One.

  12. Boblins. Great title music, but usually goes downhill from there. I’d explain how to enjoy this show as an adult but it’s offensive.

  13. Bob the Builder. The kid seems to like it whenever the machines are running around but otherwise it isn’t great, and I hate Bob.

  14. Four Square. The dancing people in the blue outfits appeal to the Small One. The other three acts don’t, or else this would rank higher.

  15. Big Comfy Couch. Just a bit too French for Anglos to take.

  16. Harry and his Bucketful of Dinosaurs. Not great, but playful dinosaurs are always a winner.

  17. Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch. Not a lot of music and often very creepy. Why is she called MISS Spider when she’s married?

  18. Max and Ruby. For God’s sake, where are Max and Ruby’s parents? Winner of the Lamest Theme Lyrics Award:

“Max and Ruby
Ruby and Max
Maxand Ruby
Ruby and Max”

  1. Timothy Goes To School. Occasionally interesting to the Small One but usually not. Really, REALLY pushes its agenda (You want to go to school because it’s so wonderful) a bit too hard.

20, Franklin. Just awful. The show looks washed out; it’s only marginally more colourful than those vampire movies, “Underworld” I think they were called, that were shot all in blue and black. Boring, washed-out appearance, even a terrible theme song.

  1. Little Bear. Basically the same problems as Franklin.

  2. Grandpa’s Garden. The bottom of the CanCon barrel; I pay tax dollars for a children’s show that’s just panning over crayon drawings. There’s hardly any animation, and could you think of a more boring subject/title?

2

Franklin is pretty awful. I always thought Little Bear had a charm and simplicity all its own, though. (Didn’t hurt that the books were illustrated by my main man, Maurice Sendak.)

Do you watch Arthur? It’s a little advanced for a pre-schooler, granted, but it’s so groovy.

3

I miss Bear in the Big Blue House. It felt very true to a Jim Henson tradition. I could never get my son interested, but mama dug it.

4

Wonder Pets!
Wonder Pets!
Wonder Pets!
Wonder Pets!

I want to see a remake of *Aliens * with Ming Ming as a space marine. And the mamma alien is coming around the corner. And Ming Ming is all like “This is sewwious, mothuhfuckuh!”

That would be so freakin’ sweet.

5

You should have included a warning about the catchiness of the Toopy and Binoo theme song. “Toopy, that’s me, and here’s my friend Binoo…”

I like Max and Ruby. Ruby is so bossy, it’s no wonder Max is such a disobedient little bastard. But he’s cute. The theme song is truly lame. Who wrote that? It couldn’t possibly be anyone who considers themselves a professional theme-song writer.

I agree with you on the inconsistency of the Backyardigans. Some episodes have great, catchy music (Polka Palace Party, Monster Detectives, Mission To Mars, Samurai Pie), and some are so boring (pretty much all the jazz/swing/big band ones).

You don’t like the Franklin theme song? No love for Bruce Cockburn?

How about that Berenstein Bears theme song? Is that Alison Krauss? It sure sounds like her.

I think I would have to put Tipi Tales below Grandpa’s Garden on your list. I can’t watch it. Toy Castle bugs the hell out of me too, but at least it has hot ballet chicks on it (China Doll, Rag Doll).

I don’t mind Timothy Goes To School. My wife and I always make fun of Doris. And Yoko and her compulsion to make sure everybody knows she’s Japanese. Frank and Frank are cool.

Dragon is pretty good, and also has a catchy theme song.

6

At that age Kiddo watched Bob The Builder, Thomas the Tank Engine, Loony Tunes and The Princess Bride. We had them on VHS/DVD so we could just pop them in when we wanted.

7

Noggin just added “Yo Gabba Gabba” to its lineup. Thank Og the sprog is now in kindergarten so he’s not home for this. Imagine any generic kids’ show then blow crack smoke into the set. Throw in some Mario Bros.-style game graphics in there and you’ve got “Yo Gabba Gabba”. It is that bizarre. Oh, and one of the characters looks like a giant red knobby dildo with arms and legs and fangs. Here is a YouTube video of one of the more out-there segments.

Robin

8

No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop myself from referring to that show as “Gabba Gabba Hey”.

I have banned Barney from this household. It’s not the insipidness or cloyingness; it’s the fake-o little child actors with their plastered-on grins and choreographed dance moves. I want to take them and throw them into a sandbox or a mud puddle or something and tell them to get dirty and have fun.

My personal favorite show, not mentioned on RickJay’s list, is “Between the Lions”. Great phonics and reading info for kids, plus fun to watch, and has grown-up appeal as well. A favorite of both children and adults in this household.

“Curious George” is also well-loved in this household. It is Whatsit Jr.'s favorite show.

MiniWhatsit is fond of “Dragon Tales”. I could live without this one, personally, but she seems to identify with Cassie, the pink girl dragon.

Dora the Explorer freaks me out. I can’t stand the wide-eyed silent staring at the screen while waiting for a response. But, the kids do love it. I second RickJay’s opinion on the Backyardigans, though. Clever concept, good songs, somewhat uneven quality, but overall a good show.

9

Cricket loves Four Square. I refer to it as the “freaks! freaks!” show, mainly because of the blue people. I love the singing though.
She also loves Doodlebops.
She’s just about one, so she doesn’t really notice the tv much. Those are the only two shows that grab her attention for longer than 5 minutes or so.

10

'Tis Lee Ann Womack.

11

Oh please do tell. . . it would make my daily viewings so much more tolerable.

Toy Castle is creepy, creepy, creepy.

IMHO, Play With Me Sesame is the best show on Treehouse.

12

I don’t know if it’s still on, but Noggin used to have a show called Tiny Planets, with two fuzzy little characters named Bing and Bong. It was on about 6 a.m., and my husband and I would stare at it and wonder what sort of potheads dreamed up that show. It was a relaxing way to wake up, but wow, that had to be drug-induced…

Jack’s Big Music Show is delightful. My two babies dance to that every day, and there are some pretty decent musical guests (Buddy Guy, for example).

Love Wonder Pets. Clever, cute, and catchy lyrics. “We’re not too big and we’re not too tough, but if we work together, we’ve got the right stuff.” Adorable and positive as well as educational.

Max and Ruby may be the most annoying thing ever on TV. Ruby’s a bossy little snot, and Max isn’t even capable of speech, but he’s smarter than her. It’s more annoying than Barney, Teletubbies, Thomas, Doodlebops and Franklin all combined. And my oldest son loved it. Gah. His taste is all in his mouth.

I loathe Dora, Diego, Caillou, and the Backyardigans. The shouting, whining, and weird music just bother me.

13

Glad to see I’m not the only one who calls it “Gabba Gabba Hey”. The first time I saw it, I dearly wished I had some mind-altering substances on hand.

Now that the Princess is in first grade, she dismisses most of the above shows as “for babies.”
She does enjoy “Charlie and Lola” and “Johnny and the Sprites.”

14

"15. Big Comfy Couch. Just a bit too French for Anglos to take. "

Huh? What’s French about “Big Comfy Couch”?

15

My Wee Bunny is 18 months old now and loves some of these shows. I’ve let her watch shows that are mainly musical and interactive, so she doesn’t watch Franklin (I didn’t know that Bruce Cockburn sings the theme!) or Little Bear, which is great because when it was on one day, I said to my husband that I wanted to punch Little Bear in the face. He’s that annoying.

Her favorites are:

The Wiggles: I’m amazed to see her follow along with a couple of the songs, like “Rock-a-bye Your Bear”. I started this thread asking if I should take her to see them live and we’ve decided to go. I’m more excited about it than I’d expected. I’ll miss Greg, though. :frowning:

The Doodlebops: My 33 year old brother is angry that this show took the place of Mr. Dressup’s timeslot on CBC (even though he’s in Cleveland now, why does he care?), but he’ll get over it. Wee Bunny loves the music, so it’s another staple. Did you know that the narcoleptic Wiggle is 54 years old?

Yo Gabba Gabba (aka Gabba Gabba Hey :wink: ): She is absolutely mesmerized by this show! The songs are evil earworms, but I love seeing people like Mark Motherbaugh (did I mangle his name?) and The Shins (when are they going to be on?!) involved in the show. My husband was so excited for this show to start after he read about the people involved in it and asked me to record the first episode. He’s so cute.

Dora the Explorer: Dora is her personal God, I’m convinced. She loves, LOVES her. I can’t stand the yelling, as others have said above. But every time we’re in a toy store, grocery store, drug store, etc. and she sees anything Dora, she starts squealing “Dor! Dor!” We’re thinking of doing her bathroom in Dora decor. She’s also a bid Diego fan. She does the same thing when she sees Diego stuff (“Go! Go!”). Rosie Perez as click is annoying.

The rest:

Backyardigans: I like this show, but she can’t follow the stories, so that’s more like background noise with a few songs mixed in. She waves bye-bye to them at the end. It’s cute.

Higglytown Heroes: They Might Be Giants sing the theme song. That’s the extent of my love of this show.

anything that Elmo is on: I’m still bitter that we spent $40 on the TMX Tickle Me Elmo, which, as it turns out, scares her and makes her cry, so we don’t watch him.
**
The Wonder Pets**: It doesn’t hold her interest, but I think it’s adorable. “This is sewious!”

I’m looking forward to introducing her to Warner Bros. cartoons, but that’s at least a year or so off, I would imagine. THAT is something we can watch together and BOTH enjoy.

16

We used to (maybe still do? I don’t know, our Small Girls have been on a big DVD kick recently - I think we’re onto our 50-dozenth repetition of The Lion King - blech!) get that here in the afternoons - I LOVED that show (yeah, the kids quite enjoyed it too :)).

All the best kids shows are made by someone just a little out there. I used to watch The Magic Roundabout religiously as a child - now THERE’s a show made by potheads!

Best show here - definitely Play School, but probably nobody outside OZ/UK would know what I’m talking about there

17

I have no trouble with Dora or Bob the Builder. The little one likes them.

Curious George is pretty good too.

I can’t stand The Big Comfy Couch, but my daughter likes it, so I put up with it.

Nobody here likes Dragontales.

Has anyone else seen a show called Nanalan’. It is the only show I’ve ever seen that makes me want to set muppets on fire.

I think our favorite is Peep and the Big Wide World.

18

My daughter is almost 15 months and is absolutely entranced by 4 Square.

She hears the first millisecond of the opening and she’ll freeze wherever she is, and start to grin. Her favourite section is the Beat Team, especially the guy, who mysteriously cracks her up. The singing section is probably her second favourite, and we sing those songs to her regularly to rave reviews.

The favourite part among the grown-ups in the house though would be the insane dancing freaks, who are amusing beyond belief. My daughter will wiggle and jump around in an attempt to do the moves, which is cute and fun, but the real enjoyment comes from our admittedly catty and cruel mocking of the poor leotarded weirdos. We are particularly mean to Krankovich, the tall one in the back there.

None of us are too into the poem part, and seriously? Helen really needs to brush her hair.
(Yeah, told you we’re catty. And if the guy and the skinny curly-headed one in the Beat Team think we aren’t onto them and their secret passionate affair then they’re nuts)

I liked the Tiki Beach episode of the Backyardigans, which happened to be the first one I saw, but the rest haven’t really done much for me. Like Nutty Bunny said, my kid’s too little to really get into that one, so we don’t watch it anymore.

She goes hot and cold on Hi-5, and occasionally will watch This is Emily Yeung. (She does not like This is Daniel Cook, though, although she was fairly interested when he went up in a hot air balloon.)

I keep meaning to check out Wonder Pets, which from the commercials looks pretty cute.

Like the OP said though, we don’t really watch much tv in our house, but 4 Square is our precious, precious gem that we can unleash when needed (we keep taped episodes).

19

As far as I’m concerned, Backyardigans is one of the best shows on TV. It beats most “adult” TV hands down. On various episodes they have had Gilbert and Sullivan-style comic opera, rockabilly, country-western, zydeco, and Kenyan highlife music, among others, and just about all of it top-quality. Plus, who can resist a high-strung blue penguin and a purple kangaroo? My little girl frequently sings Racing Day whenever we’re chasing each other.

Wonder Pets is great fun, too: “This is sewious!”

Dora the Explorer would be OK if she didn’t SHOUT ALL THE TIME. EVERYTHING IS SO EXCITING IT MUST BE SHOUTED!

Outside of those, I like Veggie Tales, but the last I heard HiT Entertainment had royally screwed them over.

RR

20

Right at this moment the munchkins are watching Little Einsteins, which I loathe. But at least the music’s good.

Pinky Dinky Doo and Wow Wow Wubzy are their two other favorites. Wubzy has an online game they love.

Charlie and Lola is pretty good, maybe they’ll pick up the accent.

Wonder Pets and Backyardigans were on heavy rotation for a while over here and I think they’re adorable. We did have a minor fracas over the rodent’s true name, turns out it’s “Linny”, not “Winny” as some heard.

I thought I would always hate Dora and her cousin Diego because of the yelling, but I actually grew to like them. And we all learned Interesting Animal Facts! They don’t groove on them so much right now, I think they moved on.
Nobody’s mentioned Spongebob? Ok, 2’s a little young, but give it another year or so and aye, you’ll be singing the pirate’s them, ye scurvy dog. “Whooooooo livesinapineapple underthesea?” It’s one I can actually sit through (my husband quotes lines).

Another one we like, much to our surprise, is the music clips from Veggie Tales. Their “Silly Songs” really are funny, and don’t have any proseltyzing. Trust me, The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps is a classic!