Any tarot-reading Dopers? How about doing a reading for me? I’ll tell you how close you are. 
I’ll do it. My email’s in my profile. What kind of reading do you want? - you’ve got a specific situation you’re concerned about, you want a sort of general “what’s to come?” kind of reading, or what?
How about a general ‘what’s to come’? My e-mail is in the profile, but I think it would be more fun if you post here.
I should warn you that I’m a skeptic. I used to get tarot readings at the Renaissance Faire because I think they’re fun. FWIW, the only prognostication that ever actually happened was this: I was told that I would get a blue car. Blue is not my favourite colour for a car, and I had no intention of buying a blue car. But it happened that I was looking for a more efficient car and dad bought it (I paid him back) and it happened to be blue.
But that’s the only thing anyone ever got right, as far as The Future goes.
ooh, ooh, LifeOnWry, will you do me too??? 
OK, I’ll do it and post the results. For the record, I make no claims. It would be helpful to know a little bit about you, not because I can “fit” you to the reading, but because it’s easier to read if I have a sense of you as a person. Just flipping cards without the person present seems to bring up stuff that applies to ME, but I’ve done readings for people I only vaguely know. I don’t need specifics, but give me a sense of who you are - male, I would guess? approximate age would be helpful, as well as marital status and general personality (i.e are you laid-back, kind of a “type-A” person, an intellectual - that sort of thing.)
Don’t think me unfriendly, but I’m not going to do public readings for other people just now. I did astrology readings here once and it ended up being a giant debate that questioned my sanity. I don’t care whether or not people believe it, I just find it interesting and I’m eager to see if it “works” in this case.
Okay, I’ve sent some info.
I hope this doesn’t turn into a debate. I just thought it would be a bit of fun. I hope people will take it in that ‘spirit’ (heh).
My fiancée gave me the Dark Tower books for Christmas, and there was a tarot reading in the first one. SOunded like fun.
Well, supposedly, this is my calling as an astrophysicist.
Doing a simple past-present future three-card spread with my ever-so-modern and sleek “Crow’s Magick” deck, I get:
Past: The King of Wands
Present: The Queen of Swords, inverted
Future: Page of Coins, inverted.
The King of Wands indicates a steady, skillful, dependable person (you, perhaps?).
The Queen of Swords inverted indicates that you are trying to reason through something, but really you should open yourself up to the mystical. It’s no accident that you have asked for this reading! Accept this sign and prepare yourself for wherever fate takes you.
The Page of Coins inverted indicates that someone is going to try to take advantage of you in the future. You may be belittled by someone who is trying to manipulate you.
Now, since you asked a bona fide astrophysicist, I can tell you that your past is ruled by astrological Fire signs, your present by Air signs and your future by Water signs. This is very clear and strong in your spread. Fire is action, air is communication, and water is spiritual, so I see you becoming more contemplative and reaching out to make contact with your spiritual side.
On a completely unrelated note, I would be happy to do more readings for you at a price of only $120 per session, since you are obviously too spiritually primitive to figure out your life, you stupid jerk.
Johnny L.A. (4 of hearts) Right now your life turns on dissatisfaction and uncertainty. (Ace of Pentacles, crossing) It seems that all of life’s rewards have passed you by. You try to hide your resentment, even from yourself, but it comes through.
(5 of hearts) Its time for you to examine your true heart, you know the path you must take, but introspection is hard right now.
(4 of Wands) Be proud of the period in your life you’ve just completed, you know it was a success. You also know that to continue would have drained the color from the victory.
(Queen of Swords) You’ve been disappointed once more. Don’t allow it to darken your heart.
The dark haired woman in you past, wasn’t everywoman.
(9 of Swords) Once again, you must go inside yourself to banish the demons that loom large right now.
(Ace of Wands)Your new life hovers on the horizon. You can no longer deny the excitment and passion that is rising in you.
(Queen of Hearts) You want Snow White to come and sweep you away, you are a pure romantic. Go ahead, put on the bear costume, but you aren’t fooling any one.
(15 The Devil) You allow yourself to be influenced by the people around you. You surround yourself with shallow friends. They don’t force you to inspect your heart.
(18 The Moon) Your fear is that the darkness isn’t going to lift, and life will just drift into middle age, never gaining the ephemeral vision just beyond your field of vision.
(King of Pentacles) Ultimately, you will overcome the fears and vague uncertainty, you live with a this moment.
Hang in, its going to get better.
How’d I do?
Oh, come on. This is supposed to be fun!
Pretty well, actually.
Oh, I forgot to add my disclaimer
I am a charlatan. I do not see into the future, your heart or your mind, most of the time I can barely see into the 'frig.
Even though the Tarot deck is on the table before me, I read people, the cards are merely a device to allow the Mark… I mean the readee to let down their guard.
I think its pretty cool too 
Yeah, and all those posts about my job, my mom, my fiancée, my politics, etc. don’t hurt either.
Er, sorry, should have thrown in a smilie or something. I meant that to be a joke based on the thing in your future about somebody taking advantage you and belittling you.
Darn it, and I should have known the joke would fall flat, what with Mercury in retrograde in Gemini!
:smack: D’OH!
Dude, I was totally whooshed!
As to your post: Yes, I have been described as ‘steady, skillful, dependable person’. And people are always trying to take advantage of me. (Usually I’m swift enough to detect it.) In a previous job, I taught someone ‘everything she knew’ about her position. Then she went around telling Management that I (and others) were expendable and presenting our ideas as her own. :rolleyes:
All of my SOs but one have had dark hair. My fiancée has dark hair.
Something I have always been curious about. The woman who wrote my Tarot Bible advises against reading inverted cards differently. Her reasoning is that changing the meaning forces you to think as opposed to just being intuitive, and therefore is not conducive to channeling the correct energies. I have always done it that way. How many of you consider inverted cards?
Oh, and Johnny, I see someone has already beaten me to it, but when I have my cards with me, I’ll try to do a reading and see what comes up. I’ve never done distance readings before.
[QUOTE=torie]
How many of you consider inverted cards?
I read the Thoth tarot, so I take care to keep my cards upright, however, Ill dignifications can come about when wands are too close to cups, or pentacles too close to swords. (Elemental conflicts Earth/Air Fire/water)
Johnny, I don’t have my Thoth deck with me, and I actually haven’t read, even for myself in many months. But I do have a novelty mini-Tarot in my desk drawer here, and It came up with
Pentacle Spread.
Spirit = XVII The Star
Air = 2 of Wands
Water = XV The Devil
Earth = Ace of Pentagrams
Fire = Page of Cups
You’re in an excellent place for spiritual growth, though you may feel burdened (Star and 2 wands). You are particularly vulnerable in matters of the heart, and should take particular care before taking any action or making decisions. (Page in Fire and Devil in Water).
Physical matters should be in A-OK shape.
You will soon meet a left handed Albanian wielding a sheep. Beware this person.
Hokay! I did a generalized “zodiac” reading. In this reading, each card signifies one calendar month of the year and “highlights” the goings-on for that month.
January - 2 of Swords: Decision-making in this month, hampered by doubt (gee, could we get any more general?) There’s irony and surprise here, too, which may find you agreeing with someone you don’t want to agree with to achieve your goals.
February - Page of Pentacles: Job-related anxiety. You’ll be tempted to do something “for now” but should avoid that and holdout for what you really desire. Potential here for a match-making situation, romantically or professionally.
March - 9 of Pentacles: Business partnership! Beware of overindulging in drink, and watch for a back-stabber. Looks like a decent month for money.
April - the Chariot: major Arcana card indicates this is a big month for you. Unfortunately, it’s loaded with conflict, including the possibility of a “bad flashback” that will make you question yourself deeply.
May - Queen of Swords: You’ll be troubled by news of illness or death (doesn’t look like YOUR illness or death, though.) Introspection and worry. Do something you enjoy just for the sake of enjoying it - it’ll help get you recharged.
June - 7 of Pentacles: more anxiety, and this time it’s likely job-related again. You’ll be debating whether or not to accept an offer, but someone will help make this decision easy for you.
July - 7 of Swords: Don’t let someoe talk you into something you know is wrong for you - even if it sounds great on the surface. Business affairs will be resolved in your favor.
August - King of Cups: Pay attention to the homefront. There’s love and romance here. Some settling in financial matters.
September - 3 of Pentacles: Communication problems and the threat of overindulgence again in drink. Keep your head clear. There may be a legal problem on the horizon - contact an attorney, don’t rely on your own guess about how things will work. Friendship is extra important this month.
October - Knight of Swords: Unexpected good news, finances on the upswing, lots of fun with friends and/or family, problems solved. Bad news in this month: illness in someone close to you.
November - Empress: Another major Arcana card, another big month. Mental or emotional overload will force you to back off and take some time for yourself. Pay attention to “nature” whether it’s in the form of the physical world outdoors or your own instincts. Don’t try to push through the problem; back off, regroup and tackle it in a better frame of mind.
December - 2 of Pentacles: Scheduling conflicts, emotional aggravation and still more communication problems. Someone is going to let you “off-the-hook” in terms of a committment you made. Your biggest “gift” is going to be the chance to make things right.
Lordie, that sounds like a rough year. I sincerely hope that A) your year is better than THAT, and B) I didn’t read myself!
Interesting…
January – No idea what that means. Who’s there to disagree with?
February – Heh. Yeah, I’m looking for something. Anything. I need to work. I thought I’d look into fiberglass layup since I have some training (20 years ago), even though I’m a data guy.
March – I rarely overindulge in drink. No worries there. I could use some money.
April – Ar?
May – Well, mom has brain cancer. I expect the worst sooner or later, and I’ve been ‘troubled by news of [her] illness or death’ for some time now.
June – Hm. I hope to be employed by then! Maybe there’s an offer of another job?
July – Follow-on from June?
August – I’m expecting my fiancée after April. Could it be this long before she arrives?
September – That’s troubling…
October – I like good news. Illness in someone close to me? Not many choices there.
November – Oh, bugger! I’m tired of emotional overloads! :mad:
December – I’ve only made one committment; and man, is it a big one!
I’ll let you know how close you were; but due to the nature of the spread, I mayn’t have any news for a year!
What colour sheep?
Just so you know, it’s not deliberately vague - meaning I didn’t blur a whole lot of possibilities so that you can finagle them to fit. But the nature of a reading like that is kinda vague.
I’m working from a book that TELLS you what each card signifies, and it’s not vague either, but the author gives the meaning of each card in 32 different categories. I read all of the categories and tried to “sum up” the general mood of the card as I interpret it from the author’s interpretation, red-flagging anything that seemed like it should come with a specific warning.
It’s a fun book, and I’ve had fun “testing” it. I’d say it’s dead-on right at least as often as it’s dead-on wrong!
(For anyone interested, it’s Tarot Reading Made Easy by Nancy Garen.)