Real men don't ....

Despite the fact that my mind knows otherwise, my heart is convinced that real men don’t drink coffee. You see, my mother is a four-cups-every-morning style coffee drinker, and my father never, ever touches the stuff, or any hot beverage. I doubt I have ever seen a mug in my father’s hand.

I am a big girl now, but that early idea of appropriate gendrer roles has stuck with me, though I know any number of men who drink coffee. Any one else end up with wierd gender stereotypes because of parental quirks?

pldennison: Go, girl! I was going to say that if you hadn’t got to it first.

Real men aren’t ashamed to wear cream-colored socks.

I mean, come on. “Off-white” suggests “hasn’t-been-washed-in-three-days” to me.


Modest? You bet I’m modest! I am the queen of modesty!

pldennison –

That’s my look on it too…My dad always said that you’re a man when you stop worrying about it.


“If you can’t speak softly, just use the stick.”
-Anon

I’m trying not to make any inferences about someone who, in the middle of a thread in which the subject of penises has never been mentioned, goes out of his way to inform everyone that his dick is not small.

Real men can buy tampons.

– Sylence


And now, for my next trick, I will talk in spooky half-references.

Real men don’t vanish into puffs of smoke. Unreal ones do, though.

It was a fucking joke, folks. Lighten up.

Reel men are the guys at the theater that swap out the reels when one of them finishes. See, if you watch really closely, up in the right top corner of the screen, there’ll be this black dot…
Yeah, so what if it’s lame. Jam it, assbag.


“I’m still here, asshole!”-Angus Bethune

Real men don’t:

  1. Bitch about SD threads
  2. Use weak-ass Psych 101 phallic concepts to make themselves feel smart (or make their penises larger…?)
  3. Make the smiley-face thing that I don’t even know how to do
  4. Ever go in Bath and Body Works, for ANY reason
  5. Spend more money on furniture than electronics
  6. Eat Lean Cuisine
  7. Let her drive, except for extenuating circumstances
  8. Watch “Friends”
  9. Like John Rocker

The IQ of a group is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member divided by the number of people in the group.

No, Reel Men are the guys that wind fishing line onto the new Rod and Reel outfits.

You are both nuts. A reel man is the guy who lurches backward after the punch man gets hit, which happens after the actual star of the movie goes back to his trailer.

When the reel man is done, the fall man (sometimes known, of course, as the fall guy) comes in to complete the scene. This is why movies are so expensive to make, and why the credits are so long.


Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine

Are you sure the Reel Man isn’t the dancing Virginian?

Or maybe the Reel Man is the guy at the party who keeps reeling off jokes one after another, or reels off to the john to relieve himself.

Actually, on further research, I have to say that Rio Man is the Grand Marshal of the Carnivale parade.

Or how about REO man, now that guy knew how to build a truck.

A real man’s answers to tough questions:
http://www.angelfire.com/bc/simont/BlokeAnswers.html

Real men bitterly regret Bell Telephone abandoning phone booths; because now we have no place to change into our costumes in order to fight for Truth, Justice & the Americam Way!

I can’t tell you how many times that’s been a nuisance to me.


YO-HO, ME HEARTIES! ALL HANDS ON DECK FOR THE MUSICAL BATTLE AT SEA!

On the other hand, imaginary men don’t …

oh, never mind.

A real man can hold his wife’s handbag while she goes to the can, and not feel self-conscious about it.

      • Real Men do not ever borrow one another’s clothes. Except maybe for hunting, and even then they will keep it a secret. - MC