For the vast majority of us, we may as well have never existed once the people who knew us die. The most significant thing any of my ancestors did was to leave Europe and move to the US in the mid-19th century, and I don’t even know their names. Most of us are pretty insignificant outside of the small circle whose lives we touch. This is just a fact of human existence. The older I get the more accepting of this I get. The biggest concern I have now, and it’s one I can actually do something about, is will those who remember me when I am gone remember me fondly?
Where did I say I hate kids?
I never wanted fame. I am closely related to someone famous; I envy their joy at attaining achievement, but not the fame that goes with it. Fame is a pain, as far as I’ve seen.
What gives me happiness is the small stuff - in particular, finding things out and satisfying my curiousity, and enjoying moments either by myself or with my friends, my wife, and/or my kid. It just isn’t very important to me to communicate this to a public audience, or to achieve recognition for insights or creations. I really don’t care to be remembered, outside of my friends and family.
Besides, they re-write the history books every few years, anyway. Today, Bill Gates is everybody’s hero, tomorrow, he’s that bastard that brought Skynet down on our heads. 
I came to the same realization a couple years ago and man…am I so relaxed now. Everything is fine, everything is ok, just live day-to-day. I just gotta be a good person, a good friend and a good family member (I’ve got nieces, but do not want kids of my own) and I feel good.
I always smirk when I read (usually in Wired) about people who made millions doing something in the tech world, then hopped over to some other job opportunity to make some more millions, and then hopped again. I could never be those people. If somehow I made millions just once, I’d totally stop.
Good thing we have those people, I guess.
Just go on Facebook and see what’s going on with your family, friends, ex-classmates, etc.
Your life doesn’t seem so bad now, does it.
At best I may be that guy people remember in a vague sense about for 10 or 20 years; the one no one can quite put a name to. And that’s fine with me. Because come that day when I kiss off this mortal coil, I can look God in the eye and say “Boy! Was that ever a fun ride!” and do it with a smile.
I think you just wrote the Cliff Notes for a half dozen John Updike novels.
I’ve pretty much always known I’d never amount to anything. In fact all I ever wanted was to attain mediocrity: you know, middle class, two kids, nice home. I got all that, and am now (for the most part) all alone again. I never saw that happening. Well, not at first, but somewhere about 10 years into my marriage I kinda hoped I’d get rescued from the depths of oppression.
I’m happy being a nobody.
Suddenly I’m singing “Nowhere Man” in my head.
♪He’s a real nowhere man
Sitting in his nowhere land
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody♫
I am a forgettable nobody. But that’s okay. I wouldn’t mind modest riches, but fame sounds like it would be a horror show for me.
I realized this in my 7th grade history class. I even remember the day and the conversation that sparked it. We were talking about the Boston Tea Party. Just a few months prior we had done a family history project and my grandpa did a lot of research for me because with his job he had access to a lot of historical documents. We think one of my ancestors was a part of the BTP. Not one of the ones that actually acted and went on the boats but a behind the scenes guy.
Well during a lesson my Teacher said something like, “and as we learned one of Drunkys’ ancestors may have been involved.” And that got me thinking about all the other people involved and how nobody knows or gives a shit about them and no one in my class would have given a shit about my ancestor if my grandpa hadn’t done the research he did.
That’s when it hit me about how many billions of people have lived and died that no one knows or gives a shit about. I’m still not really over it but over the years, especially once I got a steady job, I’ve come to think that if I can be on my deathbed and think, “I had a good run and I had fun.”, then I think I can die happy.
So you get to relive the miserable experience when you realize they’ll never amount to shit, either. 
Sports cars are small. 
I rejected the idea of “amounting to anything” pretty early in life. I honestly felt like it was pushed on me by teachers who all wanted us to be the next Presidential, Nobel-winning, Pulitzer-winning, MVP athlete. All at once.
It’s a stupid goal. Do what you must to pay the bills. Do what you like as much as possible in between.
Because, let’s be honest, when you’re dead, you’re dead, no matter what you amounted to. How many people from 10,000 years ago do we remember? That’s right, none of them. And how many people from 5,000 years ago? With very few exceptions we’re not even sure which ones were real or mythical.
How we see ourselves depends on our viewpoint, perspective and values.
Early in my life I watched people work at jobs they hated so that they could have the financial means to do as they wished during the time they were not working. It made a lot more sense to me to get a job that I enjoyed, which meant that I could live my life in a more fully positive sense. So except for the short term jobs that I needed to fund my academic education, I’ve pretty much enjoyed my professional life.
I didn’t make a load of money, but was able to establish myself in the small corner of science that is my main interest, and am known by a few people in the field. More importantly, the people that I mentored along the way benefited from our association.
No, I am not famous or rich. But I am truly content. For me success meant finding and following my priorities. I expect my way would not work for lots of people.
Ultimately we are all contributors to the continually stream of humanity that is born, lives and then passes on. Parts of the stream flow fast, and there are rapids and whirlpools, but all of us will reach the sea. But the stream will flow on with/without us as individuals. What is important is how you go with the flow…what leaf will you carry, what pebble will you polish?..individually it may matter to each of us, but in the larger picture, we are mostly insignificant and yet essential parts of humanity.
Who remembers or even knows the names of the richest people in (name any city) in 2083 BC or 12 AD or 1653 AD? How many specific individuals do we even know of from ANY era?
And really, what do we know of them at all, other than a name and at best, one or more things they might have done or been? We know little or nothing of who they really were.
We will all be born on this Earth, spend our allotted time and surrender to oblivion. Worry less about having your name be remembered 5,000 years from now and more about how happy you are today and tomorrow.
Maybe I’m more of a glass-half-full type, but I can vividly recall realizing that I WAS what I was going to be when I grew up. That I no longer needed to worry about impressing anyone to get ahead. That I was now the person other folks had to worry about impressing. I had left the counterculture behind and become the establishment.
It didn’t bring me down at all, really, other than a wistful glance back at my lost youth. I’m comfortable with who and what I am, even if who and what I am will never show up on any list of who’s who, have any buildings or streets named after me, or stroll, sparkling and chic, down any red carpets.
Don’t beat yourself up for not being more than you are. What you are is usually pretty good.
I realized that a long time ago. The massive heart attack might a long way off, so I’ve got to find something to fill in the time.
Uhh, when you said that there was *nothing worse *than having them.
There are a lot of shitty things in this diverse world, and you rank having kids as the worst thing you could imagine. I’m just taking a wild guess that you’re not a fan.
I don’t think it was so much of a realization as it was an gradual road of acceptance. As I grew up and my world got bigger so did the competition. I gradually learned how to pick my battles and how hard I was willing to fight. I ended up making a good living running a truck shop, my kids are happy and successful and I feel good about all that.
I think every change we make for the good in ourselves we are making to the world.
Crap. Now I have “We Are the World” in my head. I blame you for no good reason.