I’m in my late 30’s and lately I’ve been feeling kind of meh about getting enthusiastic about a lot of things. I’ve tried a bunch of things career-wise, lots and lots of dead end jobs that never really went anywhere. At some point you realize whatever you do your best hope is to be thoroughly mediocre at best. Physically, its a long slow downhill once you get to this age. Funny thing is, I can’t really say I feel depressed.
Consistency is its own reward, but be aware that the Universe is under no obligation to allow you to settle into a comfortable pattern.
Life has a way of taking you off at the kness just when you think you’ve got it worked out.
Damn you universe. ::shakes fist::
Maybe you are putting too much stock in your job? You can still get enthusiastic about adopting or developing rewarding hobbies that have nothing to do with work.
You are still in your 30’s. You have a long way to go - may as well make it as good as you can. You ain’t over the hill, yet.
Maybe you’re right. I have some minor hobbies I like. I don’t really feel like finding anything rewarding to do, I really just want money, lots and lots of money. And to lay around and do very little; I want to live like a wealthy person really.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll don what I need to do to support myself - my biggest fear in life is being a burden to others. Other people seem to get into their careers and do well, I’m always just sort of a square peg; even with hobbies I never get into them the way other hobbyists do.
What do you want lots of money for? Just to have piles of money, or do you have specific pursuits in mind that require healthy finances?
I want lots of money so I can retire way before 65 and live very comfortably when I do so. When I say “comfortably,” I mean I don’t need to own a Lamborghini, but I would like to (for example) be able to fly first class when I travel overseas.
Not thrilled about my job, but then I have no idea what sort of job would thrill me. So I keep doing my current job, like I have for the past 15+ years, socking away money for some day in the future. I try to take my pleasure from my hobbies and from good meals and travel with my wife (although we don’t fly first class yet…). When I retire, I look forward to doing more of all of those other things, and maybe even keeping the house and yard in better shape as well.
The future is depressing. That’s why I try not to think too far ahead. I try to stick to today, not tomorrow. I don’t make plans like other people do, but at least I’m not stressed out and disappointed all the time.
Every day when I wake up I try to think of something I can look forward to. Usually something food-related. But it’s always a simple thing. That way, I can always attain it and feel satisfied.
As far as my mediocrity goes, yes, I will always be mediocre. Everything I do is going to be mediocre. But as long as I’m not as medicore as 50% of the people around me, I’m not doing too bad. This doesn’t make sense, I know. But neither is worrying how “good” you are (I totally understand feeling this way, though. It’s hard not to.)
I’d settle for meh.
I know it will be. But it’s either “meh” or dead, and I choose meh.
What do I want lots of money for? That’s a really good question. There’s one level of money where you can just retire early and live really really cheap, but its not necessarily respectable. Then there’s another level of money where I believe you can become a socially respectable loafer - that’s probably where I want to be. I don’t have any idea what the exact dollar amounts would be. I used to be sort of into working for a living and earning a respectable middle class income - I defiantly so far have not been too good at it.
Lately being respectably middle class just seems so depressing for someone like me; I mean if I was going to be really good at something or find somewhere I fit in, I think it would have happened buy now. I mean it just seems so depressing what a lot of people do - spending all their time and energy going to a place that they don’t really love, doing something they don;t really care about for a paycheck that allows them nothing in life other than utter mundanity.
Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of people I meet that get great enjoyment out of their working lives, but I see myself as much more like the former. I actually wouldn’t mind kind of living on the fringes a little bit, in a van, kind of transient - pretty much anything other than dragging myself to work everyday for the next 30 years like in the first example - I can’t imagine how people do it. I think I just have a strong aversion to being middle class; I can’t say I’ve ever met anyone else like that.
Sweet God, I certainly hope my life is meh from now on.
I have certainly deliberately taken as many steps as I can think of in order to minimize the amount of drama and upheaval in it.
Excitement is vastly overrated. I have found that excitement tends to essentially be a code for “OMG WTF BBQ” with a side helping of “RUN LIKE HELL”.
I’m happy, content and satisfied with the life I’ve built for myself. I make enough money to pay my bills (and do a modicum of forward planning for retirement and so forth). I have a job that I am damn good at and that is not generally particularly burdensome. I have a happy marriage, good friends and a large family (although no children - c’est la vie). If there were major things about my life I disliked, I would certainly be doing something about it.
I can do the things I want to do (although sometimes it requires some planning and budgeting), I have hobbies and activities that I enjoy the hell out of. But I am also 100% certain that any number of people I know (and some to whom I am related) look at my life and are filled with “OMG How does she STAND the boredom”. My life contains a bare minimum of drama and “excitement”. This is entirely on purpose - and one of the things I love most about my life as it is.
If you find a solution let me know, I’d be happy to hear it.
Life gets boring with age. Everything becomes a repeat or has no real emotional impact or novelty. I guess as you get older and your identity solidifies things don’t affect you the way they did when you were young and your sense of identity was in flux.
I’ve worked for years to overcome a lot of issues I had when I was younger and clawed my way into a lifestyle of mundane middle classery and I feel the same way. What is the point if all I do is earn money to pay for living expenses.
I feel the appeal of living a life of voluntary simplicity sometimes, or being a transient. Sometimes I realize getting laid off and living with family for 6 months wouldn’t be so bad. I could cut my expenses and be near people who like having me around. In the past I felt periods of unemployment were terrifying. Now I think I would enjoy them, I think I’ve got enough experience to realize a middle class life isn’t that great (before I was trying to work my way up to this point).
My goal is more to invest and save enough so that in my 40s I can start to work part time. The ACA helps with that because a lot of part time jobs do not offer insurance, and I could get subsidies.
The people I don’t get are the ones who are in their 50s and haven’t saved anything. I know some of them had kids but there is no security anymore. You have to save and cut your lifestyle if you can.
When I was a little girl and all the kids were excited about what they wanted to do when they grew up, I would daydream about being a grifter. Like, one of those people you see walking down the state highway with a big backpack and a dog. I disclosed this to my mother and she told me to never tell my father because he’d be concerned. She also told me that it was a romantic fantasy and that I’d outgrow it. At the time, I thought she was wrong.
But she was right. It was a fantasy. As rough and tumble as I like to think I am, I’m not. I really like sleeping between clean sheets and taking a hot shower every night. I like being able to afford whatever I want when I go to the store. I like not having to sleep in fear of my life or personal property. I also like not being treated like a “nobody”. I feel like “somebody” when I step into the office. I
I’m reminded of Christopher McCandless escaping his upper middle class life to go “into the wild”. What he did was cool. But it was also a bit extreme. You can have the “wild” experience without turning your life upside down. That’s what vacations are for. You can also take a break from working for a short period of time so you can figure out what you really want to do with yourself. No one is forcing you to live a boring “middle class” existence. This is especially true if you’re not encumbered by children or SO.
I can only hope for meh.
I’m getting old, my husband is older, and really all that’s in front of us is illness and death with some small periods of happiness, you know, Christmases, family birthdays. I would love to think of meh rather than pain and death.
I can remember as a child wanting to be a heroin junkie(like David Bowie circa 70s or Trainspotting or something) with absolutely no idea of what it entailed, or a hobo or a mad scientist. I never shared this with my parents.
I’ve still never taken heroin by needle or otherwise.
I remember seeing that when I was younger and thinking to myself, "oh crap - I’m doing it all out of order, and I think I skipped a few steps . . . " then I got kinda stressed and didn’t think about it anymore. I was able to handle it this time though, Progress!!
I’ll be 71 next week. There’s not much uphill from here
Never. Why would it be? My life has always been an adventure to me. No really, even as a child I had an abiding conviction the all of life MUST be an adventure. Like that’s what it was for!
It was at times a not pleasant, even dark adventure. But I look back with pride knowing I found my way out and to a life of the adventures I had dreamed of as a child. My SO is now of retirement age, and I’m coming up behind him by a few years and since we began this year, island hopping off the coast of Thailand, I have no cause to believe the adventure will end any time soon!
We are not now, nor will we ever be wealthy or even middle class. We just chose to forgo a lot of consumer debt, mortgage, car payments, etc, during our 30’s and 40’s so we could go traveling. Leaving us well behind our peers in the acquisition of things, including retirement funds, and homes and cottages. But we have no regrets.
Our incomes were low, both working in service, but it enabled us to lead unconventional lives. Traveling for months, on a set amount of money, teaches a person important money skills that last a lifetime, as does learning to effectively save for such excursions. Combined with avoiding debt, these skills really will serve you well, whatever your position in life. Traveling in the third world cannot help but open your eyes to what’s really NOT important in life, in some ways, I think.
The funny thing is we are poor as church mice compared to most of our peers yet we feel like we are rich as kings and the most fortunate beings on earth most days! Partly because of the life we’ve shared, but partly because we neither imagine the adventures ever end.
When I was younger I spent some time working at banks and insurance companies. Everyone was happy for me, my boss said I’d go far and I truly wanted to be motivated by what motivated my peers! But, in the end, it was too ‘meh’, and it was killing me slowly I could feel it in my bones. When I rode the over crowded subway to work each morning, I never stopped contemplating, with true amazement, that all these people did this everyday, for years and years! Waking up to an alarm clock every day! The same couple of dozen people to interact with, for years!
I have unending admiration for those who stick to the daily grind. Because I cannot imagine a harder life, to be honest. I maybe don’t understand the appeal but I admire the fortitude! And I willingly admit that’s it’s those people making the world go round, God Bless em all!