Therein lies the advantage of being famous. Literally millions of people can identify with you as someone more than a fleeting passerby, and millions may mourn your death.
"Will the wind ever remember
The names it has blown in the past,
And with this crutch, its old age and its wisdom
It whispers, “No, this will be the last.”
What accounts for “never amount[ing] to much”? I’ve had a lot of crap in my life, just like everyone else ;), but I strive to be the best I can be at whatever cards are dealt my way. If that means slinging hash and enjoying it, then it counts for a lot with the person who just, say, just lost their dog and wants to simply eat their breakfast and reflect. They don’t need burnt or late or cold food. Maybe I’m just a cog in the wheel and my contribution to their happiness almost nil, but sometimes, just settling for not making others’ life worse (and in lots of instances, better) is enough to bring me endless contentment. Add in if I actually do get to help folks or be an improvement on who I try to be, it’s all gravy from there.
Hope you find peace. Occasionally, you get it by the most mundane and unexpected of things.
By sheer numbers the chance that one will rise ‘significantly above the crowd’ is directly related to how large the crowd is you are looking at. If you talk about human history the chances are effectively nil. Nationally, regionally or locally are difficult beyond measure. Once you come to family, local business or interest group you tend to reach an area where excellence is most likely measured and where a person’s impact is most likely felt.
When you read about Mrs So-and-so who was a member of the Horticulture Society, or Mr Hammersflake, a 40 year veteran of the Rotary - these are the people who in the sum of their existence with others have affected and improved the lives of others by helping to push the rock along just a bit.
I imagine we would all benefit in our lives if we were to understand that a set of honorable behaviors were the goals that needed to be met in order to achieve ‘a well lived life.’
I suppose to some degree that may have been part of the role of religion to many. I don’t know, I am not religious and have no experience or knowledge on the issue. That’s just a guess.
But as a news photog I have met people from the spectrum of existence and can say with authority that wealth, fame and privilege do not equate to happiness, intelligence or moral fortitude in the least.
In the end the only judge of you is you. Any time you start depending on the opinion of others to define yourself you are in trouble. Define a reasonable goal for yourself, go for it and accept that you have achieved ‘a good life’, for when you pass the world will move on and the only person who will care about your success or failure will have ceased to exist.
If you can’t be outstanding in your field, just buy a farm and be out, standing in your field.
… and with my luck I will be remembered for this egregious post.
I never had aspirations or big dreams for myself when I was young. I remember being 10 years old and thinking about how I would be as an adult. For some reason, I saw myself being very obese and destitute. But I still told all the grown-ups that I wanted to be an artist/astronaut when I grew up, and I acted as if this was possible.
When I was in middle school, a bully managed to convince me that I was going to end up impoverished, living in the projects. (The sad reality is that she was projecting her own fears onto me.)
All through my 20s, I just knew I was going to die prematurely. I think it was my way of keeping anxiety about future under control. It was easier for me to confront my own mortality than the prospect of long-term unemployment, I guess.
Now in my late 30s, I’m starting to realize that it is perfectly fine to live in the moment and not think so much about the future. And to ignore what everyone else is doing. Having had such low expectations for myself, I’m pretty pleased with my life outcomes.
But I admit that there’s a part of me that wants to be exceptional, so as to make up for those areas that I don’t excel in. I think this is why I push myself so hard at work sometimes. It’s difficult being the only one in the room who doesn’t have something personal to talk about. People ask me all the time, “What’s up!?” and my answer is always the same. I’m always thinking of things I can do so that one day I might have something meaningful to say to that question. Maybe one day I’ll give up.
I can definitely relate. I had really high expectations for An Gadaí, but he (she? who cares?) has fallen short of every single one. I mean, I wasn’t expecting An Gadaí to be the next QED or Qadgop the Mercotan, but I’d expected so much more.
Now he/she/it works for the government. What a disgrace.
YMMV. Except for meeting my wife, having kids is the best thing in my life. My kids and wife are my motivation for doing anything worthwhile, my reason for not doing bad things. I can’t imagine putting up with my job without them to give me a reason.
I think each person must find their own place: kids/not kids, work/not work etc. Each of us is different.
And each of us should respect that others are different.
For me: work is cool but not the end all. I have children who I adore and would not trade but I wish I had never been in both of my marriages (in retrospect). I have some very good friends who are equal to family. I have a wonderful family.
I gain happiness, pleasure and fulfillment with my efforts to make that which I touch a little better for the effort. I am not always successful but I am successful enough.
If everyone could perform surgery, play professional sports, sing and dance on stage, etc., who would keep the streets clean?
Whatever most of us are doing, it’s something that needs to get done.
Exactly. 99% of people want 1% of jobs.
I just read this article and I think it’s tangetially related to the OP:
Why it’s a problem that writers never talk about where their money comes from
I have always thought of myself as having an above-average level of creativity. So I’m frequently envious of writers and artists who have success, because deep-down I know I’ll never experience that. Which then makes me feel like I have no business calling myself “creative”.
But I AM creative. It’s just that I also have a day job–one that I’d be foolish to sacrifice for what just amounts to a hobby for me. It would be very difficult for me to live off my creative endeadors a single person, with no sponsor. So why am I comparing myself to someone who is more fortunate?
For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the message was lost.
For want of a message the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.
So be the best god-damned nail you can possibly be. You never know what might turn out to be important. Maybe that kind word you give a friend keeps him from stepping in front of a train, and his kid turns out to find the cure for cancer, or the generous tip you gave your great waiter was enough to help him hang on till he got that acting part and he goes on to be a star who entertains millions. You have no idea what might turn out to matter, after all.
I drank my first Guinness, and had my first toasty with you. It’s only fair I owe you an Enki beer and a tater tot hot dish. Come on out, Thief, Minnesota is lovely this time of year.
We’ll be nothing, and like it.
If one is sufficiently aged, and if one was furthermore sufficiently well-read in a certain line of youth-oriented literature, one may remember the original Bizarro story, in which Bizarro shows up at the Kent family farm and demands that Pa Kent assign him some chores to do. Pa Kent, keeping his cool the whole time, leads him out to a field and tells him to stand there with his arms outstretched.
Bizarro, having been angrily and sometimes violently rejected and chased away by everyone all day, and feeling very butthurt about it, now observes that even the birds are afraid of him. His spirit even further broken now, he abandons his assignment and wanders off.
not me!
See Malvina Reynolds’ classic
Little Boxes and realize that those ticky-tacky little boxes are still there, overlooking the Graves of Colma CA (in the 1930’s, all civilian graves in SF were relocated).
And then realize that that is normal to NOT be famous or rich.
Get over it.
I spent a month driving around the US. Your coping method may vary.
Damn, that sounds like it could have been a Samuel Beckett guest-writer special.
Wow. I never realised before that the term ‘Bizarro World’ actually had an origin.
Well there you go. That’s your good deed for the day 
Ozymandias is not forgotten. Sadly, the writer is less well known than his wife.
Anyway, to the OP, does it really matter if you don’t have a wiki page? I never expected that and never disappointed. Plenty of other things to do with your life than try and create a position which you don’t life.
And a further footnote: I never read your earlier statement as saying you hated kids.