On one hand, a professor has put together a great offer for me to go to a ranch near Yellowstone for a field course on ecology, geology and ethics. All things I love. for a month. Plus I’d get to see wolves. For cheap. (ish. about 1/4 the normal cost)
On the other, I’m having problems with my usual low level anxiety disorder that is being a full fledged insanity currently. I don’t want to go on adventures, I barely want to get out of bed. The world is scary and I want my mom. I’m stressed out and afraid of doing my normal activities, much less new and exciting things.
On one hand, I don’t want to live my life according to my fears (the majority of which are really irrational.) On the other, I don’t travel well at the best of times, and I’d rather not spend a healthy chunk of change to go insane looking at mountains when I could be trying to get sane looking at my own backyard.
What weights should I assign here? Am I missing some important element to make this decision? I need to make it soon! Dopers with your reasoned thoughts, please help me!
I can certainly understand where you’re coming from! I have GAD as well, and even at my best I’m not one for much new and exciting gallavanting around, but please consider this opportunity, as you’ll likely never get another chance like this again!
If you’re not already on any medication, you may want to check with your doc to see if there’s anything they can prescribe on a temporary basis to get you through the month-long trip. I’m currently on Effexor XR and it really has done wonders for my anxiety. Also, consider doing small things to prepare you. I assume you’ve got some time to think this over and prepare, why not start looking at pictures of what you would see on your trip, maybe each day decide on one piece of clothing to pack, or something else you’ll bring along. Portion the whole idea of the excursion into small amounts that you can digest mentally. Each day find one good thing you want to get from the trip, but don’t worry about the whole thing all at once.
If you do however decide that you’re not up for it, don’t spend a single second beating yourself up for it though. There’s a lot to be said for some good downtime when you need it most.
Well, for what it’s worth, on occasions where I’ve been stressed out and anxious about life, I’ve often felt tremendously better once I got beyond the city limits. All my troubles were * back there * and I couldn’t do anything about them once I was gone, so I might as well enjoy myself.
I’d say “go”. But the recommendation to bring some anxiety reducers along isn’t a bad one.
Oh, other information, its a program that happens every year, I don’t know if I’d get all of the funding, but I could certainly go next year.
The alternative to the program is to get a job at home with my family, where I would still be leaving my current city and spending time on the beach. Home and security vs. adventure, excitement, etc.
I’m really worried that I would go into full freak out mode out there. I’ve had a bad school term and honestly just living is difficult these days. Just what the group needs is for me to get nutzo on the trail miles from anywhere while I try to hide from the sky or something.