My friend is from Zimbabwe and has a visitor’s visa to Canada.
He is 28 and looks it.
We went out to a concert that we had really been looking forward to and got carded at the door. I had my ID (age 25), my friend had nothing. No drivers licence, no health card (he’s not Canadian) and he wasn’t prepared to take his only ID, his passport w/visa, out on the town with him - what if he lost it? He’d be right screwed. Trying to replace a Zimbabwean passport and visitor’s visa isn’t the sort of hassle he was willing to risk for a night out. He had ID with his name and DOB but it was not Canadian so it didn’t count.
So the bouncer wouldn’t let us in.
Sometimes people are trying to pull a fast one, and sometimes bouncers are power-tripping thoughtless bastards.
Mom goes out to club:
Baby-sitter/Grandma comes over, Mom says, “Bye-bye.” Kid goes to sleep. Kid wakes up and there’s Mom.
Mom goes out to late movie:
Baby-sitter/Grandma comes over, Mom says, “Bye-bye.” Kid goes to sleep. Kid wakes up and there’s Mom.
Just because you become a parent doesn’t mean that you aren’t allowed to have fun anymore. It’s often important for mental health for parents to get a break from caretaking for a bit. That’s why God made grandparents and baby-sitters.
I think sometimes they card people just to verify they have a valid ID. If some dude is looking suspicious he might be wanted by the law and a bit apprehensive about showing his identification to anyone. Or they figure if you aren’t responsible enough to carry an ID, then you aren’t responsible enough to drink. I guess I just lived in the city too long, we used to get our share of outlaws wandering into the tourist pubs.
I haven’t been carded for years. But I have been refused entry to a bar because I was wearing black tennis shoes. “Sorry buddy, no tennis shoes allowed”. Huh?
Oops! Proof positive that when you assume, you make an ass out of you. There is no reason to assume the above. in fact, there is sufficient reason to assume the opposite. If the kid was in responsible care, why would he/she need to be checked on?
**
You are failing to see a HUGE hole in your thinking: it is in no way required that one be an “adult” to go out and get sloppy drunk and/or stoned. I suppose when your son is 14 and goes out to get sloppy drunk and/or stoned your argument that he should NOT be doing those things will be. . . . what, exactly? After all, he’s only following the example he was given (metaphorically speaking; you never said you got stoned).
You seem to think that just because a parent can compartmentalize their life that therefore the child sees a difference as well. They don’t. Parents who go out and get drunk and stoned raise kids who go out and get drunk and stoned. I’m not saying anything about you and your kid, because I don’t know either one of you, and I would never hold what I said above to be an absolute rule. But if you think what you do is “your business” and your kid isn’t forming his own unspoken opinions on these things right now, you are sadly mistaken.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Lizard * Oops! Proof positive that when you assume, you make an ass out of you. There is no reason to assume the above. in fact, there is sufficient reason to assume the opposite. If the kid was in responsible care, why would he/she need to be checked on?
I check on my kid all the time, even when he’s with my mom, whom I trust completely. Maybe to tell him good night, maybe to remind him to get his baseball gear ready, maybe just to talk to him for a minute. Maybe the girl in question doesn’t go out often and her daughter becomes anxious when she’s gone for long, so she’s checking in to make sure she’s not freaking out.
I’m sure his IS forming his own unspoken opinions on these things, and that’s how it should be. So? There are plenty of activities that are inadvisable for children but perfectly fine for adults – staying up late, watching violent movies, and sex, for instance. My argument against his going out and getting drunk and/or stoned at fourteen will be the same for all those activities – he will not be mentally or emotionally prepared to deal with all of the potential consequences of those activities at that age. So what is my son learning from me now? That it’s possible to drink one night and still function perfectly well the next, if one handles such situations responsible? And that’s…bad? The last thing I am is a hypocrite; I’ve never lied to him and told him I thought drinking was bad. He does know that I think drinking and drugs are bad in excess for adults and in any amount for children. Believe it or not, we’ve talked about it (and I thank VH-1 for giving me an easy opportunity to discuss it with him) at length.
In any event, I don’t think it’s necessary to take the snide and insulting tone you have taken with me. I realize this is the Pit and all but I’ve not been anything but civil to you and I’ll thank you to show me the same courtesy.
You hear that parents? Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want your kids to do- be it drink, have sex, or cross a busy street without an adult to hold your hand.
Botched the coding on that one; this should be clearer.
I check on my kid all the time, even when he’s with my mom, whom I trust completely. Maybe to tell him good night, maybe to remind him to get his baseball gear ready, maybe just to talk to him for a minute. Maybe the girl in question doesn’t go out often and her daughter becomes anxious when she’s gone for long, so she’s checking in to make sure she’s not freaking out.
I’m sure his IS forming his own unspoken opinions on these things, and that’s how it should be. So? There are plenty of activities that are inadvisable for children but perfectly fine for adults – staying up late, watching violent movies, and sex, for instance. My argument against his going out and getting drunk and/or stoned at fourteen will be the same for all those activities – he will not be mentally or emotionally prepared to deal with all of the potential consequences of those activities at that age. So what is my son learning from me now? That it’s possible to drink one night and still function perfectly well the next, if one handles such situations responsible? And that’s…bad? The last thing I am is a hypocrite; I’ve never lied to him and told him I thought drinking was bad. He does know that I think drinking and drugs are bad in excess for adults and in any amount for children. Believe it or not, we’ve talked about it (and I thank VH-1 for giving me an easy opportunity to discuss it with him) at length.
In any event, I don’t think it’s necessary to take the snide and insulting tone you have taken with me. I realize this is the Pit and all but I’ve not been anything but civil to you and I’ll thank you to show me the same courtesy.
Guess you should’ve read the thread a little more closely, specifically the post where I said:
I for one am very tired of hearing people dream up newer and ever more creative justifications for doing exactly as they please. Yes, I’m sure your son has really taken to heart all the very valuable things you’ve told him (because everybody listens to everything their parents say), thought deeply on their ramifications, and decided that as soon as he’s old enough he will do as you say, not as you do. Riiiiiight.
So sorry to suggest or even imply that raising a child required any major adjustment in a person’s lifestyle. By all means, party on.
Actually, I did read that, I simply thought you might be capable of carrying on a reasoned discussion anyway. Apparently not, so fine. You’re not only judgmental, you’re also a dumb ass. I certainly hope when you have children they follow your stellar example. Carry on then.
Another guy here who has bartended and seen his share of idiotic drunken people…in fact my previous bartending job is the main reason I rarely drink anymore
Seeing the boneheaded things drunk people think, say, and do just made me realise I was no different when drunk and that is a sobering thought
BTW My bartending was in a DISCO club so most of these people were idiots before they ever took their first drink
You know, when I was a wee tyke, I’d go with my mom and dad over to my uncle’s house for Thanksgiving every year. Dad and his two brothers would get roaring drunk and throw themselves head-first down the staircase. They called it “stair-diving.” Any one at the party who wasn’t falling down drunk was stoned out of their minds. Most of 'em were both. And you know what? Wasn’t a big deal. Didn’t ruin my life. Didn’t turn me into a druggie. Didn’t ruin my relationship with either parent. I did try stair diving myself, at one point, but that was because I was a teenager, not because I was drunk. I still go back to my uncle’s every Thanksgiving, although advancing age has toned down the festivities quite a bit. To this day, I still drink very infrequently, although I do smoke a fair amount of pot. About three years ago, my parents found their old stashbox and gave it to me as a family heirloom.
I feel the strong need to post. I’ve known Gundy for a while now and I’ve met her son and spent a weekend at their place.
You know, I don’t know if I’ve met a more responsible parent. Or a more intelligent kid. While some of us were eating and chatting and putzing around (group gathering), Gundy was playing cards with her son on the floor. He’s incredibly well behaved and intelligent and polite. I’ve never met a more proud mother, either.
While I realize this thread isn’t specifically about her, it is about attitudes and I can be just as judgmental as the next person. My judgment says that it was a jump to say the woman in the OP was a bad parent. We don’t know the circumstances. I know what you mean - that sometimes those things rub you the wrong way - that’s fine. But I don’t think that because it rubs you the wrong way that the logical conclusion is that it is wrong.
Yes, I always come to the Pit to have “reasoned discussions.” I’m such a dumb ass I don’t even know the purposes of the Forums on this Board. Oh, wait. That’s you. :rolleyes:
**
You mean the example I’ll be setting by not going to bars?
What’s your fucking deal? I’m sure you’re a dumbass for myriad reasons, but in this particular case you’re a dumbass for asserting that the worst possible reason for a certain behavior must be the only reason, simply because YOU say so. Better people than you have managed to carry on rational discussions IN THE PIT, so even though it may be beyond you, it’s not unheard of. I am guilty of overestimating you, and I’ll be sure not to make that mistake again.
**
I mean the example of being a self-righteous, arrogant shithead. And that shining example of not going to bars when/if you have children? How does that sit with your WORKING in one now? Or is it, “do as I say, not as I did”?
Tibby, I really appreciate your kind words. <3 right back atcha, babe.
You are a fucking moron Lizard. I call home to check on my child no matter who she is with, including my wife. A responsible parent checks on their child regularly. It may not be a case of something being wrong, the child may just want to say goodnight, it may be a case of wanting to know what they did that night, it may be a million cases. You have no fucking clue what you are talking about.
From the statement you said above, I can also deduce that you would’t bother to check on your own child when you leave them with a sitter? Yeah, thats responsible and very loving.
Another thing, just because this is the Pit doesn’t mean you can act like a idiotic judgemental asshole and get away with it. It just means people can swear more when they tell you that you are full of shit.
What are you talking about? I haven’t “asserted” anything. I observed something and drew my own conclusions. You weighed in with your officious, overbearing opinion and figured it meant something. You were wrong. End of story.
**
Well BULLY for you! Now why don’t you kindly shut up?
**
I imagine the lesson they’ll draw is that a person must do what is necessary to make ends meet. Probably they’ll see the difference between making money to live on and expending free time. Which will make them plenty smarter than you.
Too bad you don’t appreciate Tiburon’sposts as much as you appreciate him/her. Like when he wrote:
Apparently Tiburon is smarter than you too, since he knows when running his mouth is a bad idea.
Which one is it asshole? Are you leaving your kid in responsible care, and not bother to check? Or are you gonna check on your kid, which by your own admission means they are not in good care.
I never said you were a terrible person, just a moron who can’t keep his holier than thou opinions straight.
For someone who doesn’t care what people think, you are trying awfully hard to defend yourself.
I’m not Gundy, but when my parents went out and left my brother and myself in the care of responsible baby-sitters, they still called to check on us in the night. When my single mother friend went out drinking with us and left her three year old in the care of her parents, she called to check on her daughter once or twice in the night.
Since when is checking on your child irresponsible parenting?
