Reasonable number of guests at a baby shower

In My Humble Opinion
1

Whats the maximum number of guests that is reasonable to expect a mother in law and sister in laws to have to a baby shower?

Somebody is being throwing a baby shower by a friend that includes 35 workers. This is shower number one.

My mother and sister are throwing a baby shower for relatives and close friends. It will be in a home. There were to be 22, then 26 invitations sent, with a few including two people, so about 30 would be coming. Some rumblings about too many people were already starting when the mailing list went up to 55 invitations. Remember that this would invite around 65 to 70 people to this second baby shower. The volcano blew after the person left, and now a number of people are to met tonight about who will and will not be getting invited. The person that is having the baby has always been uncontrolable, when planing a party and needs a hall to host them. She is pissed that she has to remove some. It all going as I knew it would. I predict the friend shes bringing to the meeting that is not have the party to be her usual mouthy self and say how it’s her shower and my mother and sisters should lump it. I had a all out verbal fight with this bitch the first time I met her in our home. She’s a very abrasive bitch.

The latest additions are half from one family that the other guest don’t know and are all related. the other additions are more guests that aren’t known by the people on the original list. Its almost to the point of the relatives of a friends friend. Have you ever thought to invite 70 people to a baby shower?

I know that they can’t go over 30 people in the house tops and that’s way crowded. It’s my mothers first grandchild so she’s gotten a lot of baby stuff already.

How many would you draw the line at fo invite to your home for a baby shower?

2

I would invite a dozen people and hope that 8-10 showed up.

Any more seems like a gift grab.

BabyStainz had two showers - one for family only (I think there were 10 adults and a few kiddies) - and one for friends (I think there were 8 adults there and a few kiddies).

3

I love any question that includes the word “reasonable.” It’s like the law, when it says something about what a reasonable person would do. Everybody thinks they are the most reasonable person alive. Including me. :smiley:

I’m sorry, did you ask a question? Oh, yes.

I live in an area where baby showers are often held at a reception hall and include 100-150 people. They include relatives from all sides as well as friends, and it’s all over in one giant shebang. And there tend to be large families around here; I have 27 cousins on one side and 23 on the other, and I’m not at all unusual. These showers are not elaborate, and do not include games or activities, although they do include plentiful food of the “jes’ folks” variety. In these circumstances, a 70-person shower would actually be on the small side.

However, I know this to be an aberration from the typical baby shower, which is held in a home or, sometimes, a restaurant, and includes anywhere from 7-35 people. These showers include games and cute activities and favors and probably fancier food. They are considerably more work per invitee. I would consider a shower of this sort with 70 people to be a gargantuan task, and not fair to put on someone.

If this is the case, and this person is trying to force 70 people onto the guest list, she is being rude and inconsiderate. Throwing a shower is a large and expensive gift, not an obligation. It is the showered person’s job to be grateful, not a pain in the butt. If there are people from other sides of the family invited and a bunch of friends, perhaps it would be better if someone from that group held a different shower, so as not to overtax your mother and sisters, and you.

So, while noting that in very specific cases, 70 person showers exist and are reasonable, I’m on your side on this one. Unfortunately, it doesn’t sound like said pregnant lady is reasonable. I wish you the best of luck.

4

My sister-in-law’s family routinely holds baby showers where seventy-some people are invited. Her parents each have 8 or 10 siblings, the siblings have kids, some of those kids have kids old enough to be having babies. Such gatherings are not held in private homes.

It isn’t the way I was brought up (my parents have 2 siblings each, and live in widely scattered locations. No dysfunction, just scattered lives). I wouldn’t want to be the guest of honor at such a large party, but it works for them.

I don’t think I’d invite more than 20 people to a shower in my home. The last shower I attended had more like 30 people, because the guest list was kind of open ended–all the ladies of the choir got invited, for example.

5

Every baby shower I’ve been to in someone’s home has had about 15-20 people in attendance. In someone’s home, I don’t see how you could possibly host 70 guests. In a larger venue with several people helping to host, maybe. I can’t imagine a baby shower with 100-150 people! :eek:

6

I though the people throwing the shower were in charge of who gets invited, sending invitations, etc.
How the mother-to-be got involved in making the guest list is your problem. She should have been invited to her own shower and just shown up. She should have had no say in the atendees.

7

Doesn’t it depend on the size of the shower? I couldn’t possibly fit 20-30 people in any shower I know of, you must have megasize showers over there at your side of the contient. And how dirty are your babies anyway, since you need that many people to clean it? :dubious:

8

Inviting 30 would be my ouiter limit, and that’s assuming that about a third of the invitees wouldn’t be able to come (that’s the rule of thumb, anyway). More than that certainly seems like a gift-grab to me.

If the shower is going to be including 75 people or whatever it turns out to be, I hope activities are planned accordingly. Watching that many gifts being opened would be a dead bore, and yet at a shower it’s expected that you’ll see the honoree open your gift and react to it. Playing those silly shower games could be OK as long as the large group is divided into lots of small groups.

In my experience – and I am totally painting with a broad brush, here – people who throw huge parties like this are the absolute worst about the actual execution of them, and you can pretty much forget about receiving a thank-you card. The mentality always seems to be “Me! Me! Me! Oh, you wanted enough food to eat? We’re out of drinks? I said ‘thank you’ when I opened your gift, isn’t that enough?”

9

Nobody expected to see this many people on the list, and their jaws almost dropped to the floor in astonishment. I’m for the family members of her friends throwing their own shower, since we don’t even know the family members of her friends. I could have swore me were given a copy of the wedding list again.

I’m glad to hear some comments of what you would expect for a baby shower in the home. We at least know that we’re not clueless. Thanks.

10

If you’re throwing the shower you set the invitation list. If you choose to give the guest of honor some say in it that’s up to you. At that point you say, “We have room for seven more people. Who would you most like to invite?”

And people are right, the job of the guest of honor is to show up and be grateful. She’s not the one giving the party. And you don’t have to.

11

It would have never reached this point, if I had been doing this. My mother was the person interfacing with the people. She can never say something and leave it at that. She will try to accomidate every whim of 20 people for where and when something can be. Add in evry food item every person wants and doesn’t want. Ask all of them what color the decorations should be, until everybody is pissed and says screw it. I therefore never let her be the pivet upon which the event is dependant. This however is her little party and my sisters were dumb enough to allow her to be the central exchange. The sister in law is way out of control though and will have to live with what she gets.

12

This ends in 27 relatives and friends we know.

The others get to attend a third one with all those family of her friends in it.

13

For my first child’s pre-birth celebration, there must have been fifty-some people in my MIL’s backyard. Problem was, half of them I didn’t even know. I think she felt it was “payback” time and invited everyone that she had even given a baby gift to. I was resentful. I didn’t want a huge to-do and yet, there it was. I was being introduced to people attending my baby shower. I still feel a bit of resentment over that party, can you tell? They wanted to serve booze. I felt (being a big non-drinker & PREGNANT for God’s sake) that booze was inappropriate for a baby shower. As the end of the party neared I had people asking if I was leaving so they could start boozin it up. DAMN, can’t anybody have a stinking party without loading up on the booze?

So, I have a partiality to small, intimate parties with around 12-15 people altogether. Granted, you don’t get as many presents, but then, it’s not really about the presents, is it?

15

deleted comment - didn’t realize this was a zombie.

I’ll report the spam.