Up until last month I could’ve said 19, no dates, no kissing.
Then two men literally (swear to God) threw themselves into my arms. Now just 19 and a virgin. It’s a trust thing more than anything else, since I’ve seen multiple friends rush into it for no good purpose and end up used. It’ll happen when I feel it should happen, not when I get tired of certain folks snickering at me. My body, my right to do all I can to increase the odds of a good night (or even day) to remember.
Boy, I lost it a lot later than you guys. To my surprise, though (there have been other threads like this on the SDMB in the past), there are others here who lost theirs later than I did.
Lotta unfulfilled folks out there.
17 here. But I’m with FilmGeek. I was doing other stuff for a couple of years before that. So where do we draw the line?
I had just made 21 when I lost it. I was a pretty shy guy at the time, and I wasn’t in a particular hurry. I did have a lot of crushes, though. In retrospect, I missed a lot of opportunities in high school and college … didn’t really cast my net wide enough. A lot of “he likes her, but she likes someone else” situations – some of which I was on the good end, but couldn’t see it until the moment had passed.
Raised in a small town
1st Kiss - 12 y.o. (Spin the bottle)
Didn’t “date” until college
Couple of serious relationships
Virgin until wedding night - 26 y.o.
Started out as protective - I wanted to get out of small town, then it was religious. But what it boils down to is this: I wanted my first time to be with someone I loved and who loved me. No regrets.
(BTW - My husband was “technically” a virgin until the wedding night, 35 y.o.)
Not as uncommon as you’d think.
Looks like I might have a shot at the record, unless CalMeacham cares to come forward with a number.
I am 33 (and a half). My first date was at 28. I’ve never kissed anyone (a girl kissed me, but I didn’t like her, so I didn’t respond). I’ve never gotten past a second date.
Explanation: Three major points of incompatibility make me unacceptable to most women I’ve met: (1) I’m an athiest in the middle of the Bible Belt, (2) I don’t want children, (3) I hate clubs and parties.
1st kiss - 18. Nope, no dates in High School. Oh well.
Lost my virginity - 19 with the man I later married. Partly religious reasons, partly wanted it to be with the right one. And boy, he was the right one right quick (less than a full week after we started dating) and I’ve never looked back!
I was 14, I grew up in the 60’s, peace and love 
You’re close, but you haven’t beaten me yet.
Let me first state that I’m not “saving” myself (except for Jesus), well not really. I’m 23, and yes, a virgin. Never been kissed seriously. Maybe one time at a freakish moment when this girl was going around kissing all the guys at a party! :eek: That was just a peck though, and I was just 22.
I’m recently finding out that I have a serious problem with interpersonal relationships. If I find out a girl likes me (on a rare ocassion), I freak out and starting wondering why. I’ve never really been friends with a girl. Never did any of that playfull stuff you’re supposed to do in school, and I’ve had some serious crushes since 2nd grade, and it really pains me to think that I missed out on all that fun I could’ve had. It really pisses me off sometimes to think that I can do many different things, but I can’t do one of the most basic functions of the human race- get laid.
Communication is so, so hard for me, I’m thinking about going to Nevada and just getting the physical part over with, and get some experience with a women. And maybe when I have a crush on a girl, I can have enough confidence to form a relationship. Many of you probably think this is a bad idea, but what else can I do? Some here are content with there virginity due to religious reasons, or they’re waiting for the “one”. But I don’t feel that way. Also, it’s not like I’m sitting here feining for a piece of ass or anything, but my situation is getting old and tiresome. I “do” someday want to have a relationship, but I releaize I need a lot of work before hand.
The bar scene sucks. I cannot read the “signals”, and I’ve been to bars and clubs quite often. Women instinctively know to stay away from me on the dance floor. It’s not like I’m hidious or anything. I’ve heard on many occasions actually that I’m considered very attractive by women that are friends of my friends and so forth (I’ve been told that I’d be quite a “catch”, for too long), I don’t know what to do. Yeah I’m quiet, but are they talking to me? Must I always be the one to break the ice? I can become quite talkitive once you get to know me, it’s just at first, i’m almost paraliyzed at what to talk about (where are you from, what do you do stuff only goes so far).
Oh christ, enough ranting.
Anybody have advice for a crippling shy person as to what to do to about interpersonal relationships? Not just women either, I’ve got like 2 pretty good male friends, but I could use some more guy friends to hangout with for sports or recreation or something. The ones I know now are moving in with their girlfreinds and basically, I never see them anymore. Essentially, I need help with communication with strangers. I’ve been working on that “love yourself before you can love someone else” thing too long, I don’t think it’s working.
Do they have an AA type thing for shy people? Somewhere I could go where other shy people go to for help on this?
Just ignore my spelling errors, it’s morning and I’ve yet to get my cup o’ joe.
Guess I better 'fess up~
age 42 (in 10 days), still waiting, had my first opportunity in Autumn 2000, oddly enough my next opportunity last Autumn- same woman (we’ve been good friends for 20 years- tried romantic involvement those two times & broke it off because of her drinking), next opportunity- probably Autumn 2006, also with her L
Reasons- religion, waiting for right gal, waiting for right gal who thinks I’m right guy.
What do I win?
I got you beat, Friar Ted - I’ll be 43 in 5 months and I’m a virgin. Pretty much the same reasons as yours, I guess. To be honest, I don’t feel the lack much. Not that I don’t* want * sex, but I’ve never felt like I was in love, and without love, sex doesn’t appeal that much to me.
Do I get a toaster?
StG
26 yrs old here. First time at 19, it was awful because she just laid there like a dead corpse 
2nd time at 24, had a much better sexual relationship, learned a lot.
But Im still bummed out about currently being single, I dont think I’m too badly when contrasted against my friends. One guy is 28 and his first experience was with a nasty hooker at 25, another is 25 and is still a virgin. But I do know a guy that hasn’t gotten any action at all and he’s 34. I dont understand how anyone can let themselves get past 30 without having had sex at least once. Its better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, and I think humping should be mandatory by the time you are 25. I shudder to think what it would be like for someone to have sex for the first time when they are in their 30s/40s. Performance anxiety and naiveity will probably tear their self esteem apart
This post has certainly been an eg obooster for me…28, never been kissed, never dated, virgin…knowing there are so many of us there, it feels nice.
Virgins Rule!!
And yes, my reasons? Shy, Hand an charming dude as besst friend, so females never noticed me.
Not to negate what you’ve said or mock you, but just to clarify, waiting for the right person is not the same thing as waiting for “the one”.
The right person means somebody you’ve be comfortable having sex with, rather then “We had one date, let’s have sex”. Finding someone it looks like you have a good chance at staying with, rather then the first person who will actually sleep with you. At least in my mind.
“The One”, in my mind, at least, seems to be the same as “Soulmate”, something rather intangible and quioxtic.
21 and counting.
I’m shy…and a Nerd/Geek. I think that means my chances at true romance are at the bottom of the toilet. 
Well, at least I have a ways to go before I beat Nikola Tesla.
Ranchoth
(But I can never hope to be half the Mad Scientist that he was. Double )
I know what you’re saying HPL. I may have grouped the ‘right person’ and ‘the one’ as one type. But it seems by the way some here have described it, and at the length they’ve waited, that they were waiting for a god like person to come along.
It’s cool if you want to wait for someone, maybe someone you can be with for a while, that’s your preference. I’m just saying for myself, if it happens overnight, or over the course of a relationship, it’s gonna happen. My position is, I’ll take either. I’m not going around looking for one night stands or anything, but if there is a long night and a “mis-use” of alcohol, well, lets just say… I wouldn’t regret it what so ever. Bad or not, but that’s just me.
I don’t think I’m alone in that.
I’ll tell ya one thing, having never been in a relationship, or having sex, has been a real eye opener by watching those that are involved. I see what they don’t. I have a pretty good idea of what not to do in relationships. Not to say that I’d be perfect or not get into a bind, but being on the outside has it’s advantages, but very few. I’ve actually given advice to close friends about things, (not sexual of course, what would I know about that?) that has actually worked out for them. So observing helps. But damn am I hung up on some irrational bullshit.
im 24 & male. ive never had a date, never had a kiss, never had sex. This is due largely to an introverted personality and a (largely delusional) belief that women want nothing to do with me. I can’t figure out why i feel this way but i do. When im talking to a woman i usually feel somewhat proud that i don’t ‘hit on’ her like most men, like i’ve saved her the trouble of having to deal with me. Anyway, thats my rant. I dont want pity for it (good advice is welcome) but it feels nice to be able to say it, at least on the internet.
I dont know how i feel about my lack of experience. slightly ashamed, slightly deprived. It would be nice to meet people but with my current personality, its not going to happen. I have a female friend who has a strong crush on me so i decided to test some physical contact with her by “holding” (i hate that word) her, it wasn’t anything special. It was arguably the most physical contact ive ever had with a human being and it didn’t really do anything for me. I think the fact that our friendship is breaking up was part of why it wasn’t meaningful. I guess it’d be nice to have physical contact with someone, but with someone supportive and nurturing. Can’t get that from a prostitute but you can get STDs, so i haven’t taken that route either.
I sure wish I have the genius if Issac Newton in me as well as his sexlife, which I currently have.