I can’t recall the last time I heard of a girl much past adolescence “saving” herself for marriage. Valuing virginity seems almost quaint these days.
Is female virginity still special these days or is it just a speed-bump to adulthood?
Was your virginity special to you?
Nope, not at all. Why should it be? Do men value their virginity as something precious and holy?
I didn’t think it was all that special. When I became curious about sex, I picked a guy to “do it” with (he was a guy I wasn’t all that interested in and didn’t really talk to much before or after).
I wasn’t all that impressed with the experience and didn’t repeat it for a very long time. But, no, I didn’t place a particularly large value on virginity.
It’s not at all to me. I’m 19 and haven’t lost it yet. I could have years ago but didn’t - it’s a lot more to do with my own personal neurosis and weird issues about being touched than anything else. It’s not that I’m “saving myself” or anything (that phrase has always evoked odd images of ‘running out’ of sex or something.)
I do want to be in some sort of relationship at that moment, though. I could just go and get wasted at a party, hook up with some guy, and get it over with. I’d rather not, and the current plan is once I find a quasi-decent guy here, it’s not going to be any sort of big deal.
No, it was never something, to me, that I felt a need to protect. The only importance attached to having sex for the first time was to do with finding someone I was comfortable to do it with, rather than feeling I was supposed to ‘save myself’ or protect my ‘purity’ from the horrors (horrors!) of sexual relations until one uber-special person came along.
My husband did.
I wish I would have treated mine as something to be cherished. I was too careless as a teen and I’ll regret it forever.
It wasn’t anything that special to me and, in fact, I don’t remember the exact occasion it was “lost” (it was with a guy I dated for awhile). I do know a handful (5-10?) women who saved themselves for marriage, including one who’s still doing so at 38. I kind of feel sorry for her because now it’s going to be SUCH a big deal. I can’t imagine very many men in her age group wanting to deal with that or wanting to marry someone they hadn’t had sex with.
No, and I actually resented the emphasis on how special it was supposed to be and the glee with which I observed young men around me (this is not a generalization; this is what it was like where I was) who got a go at some girl’s virginity. Bleh. So I picked a random guy who was just passing through and got it over with. I had no wish to be someone’s trophy fuck. It wasn’t actually all that good, but considering I’d been achieving orgasm solo for years at that point it just seemed stupid to make a big thing out of it. Oh, also I sucked at dating and had no idea how one was in fact supposed to date, so it seemed wise to jump on the opportunity when it presented itself.
I think it’s special.
But I think most woman think it’s special more in the way guys usually have. It’s a signifigent moment in your life. But it’s no longer (back when it was “sacred”) the moment you passed from being a valuable commodity to damaged goods.
Pardon me if I don’t mourne the passing of that particular idea.
I wasn’t waiting for marriage, but for the right guy and the right opportunity. It didn’t happen until I was 25, but I wasn’t “saving myself for marriage” or anything like that. I guess I was a late bloomer.
By the time I got to college it wasn’t anything special to me, but I still hear of women who waited until they got married (or engaged). I think there’s a whole straight-edge movement, now, too, of teens who don’t “do” sex or drugs or alcohol. Basically, whether or not it’s a big deal depends on the person whose virginity it is.
Some do. Just like some women do. There’s no “should” here.
For me it wasn’t so much as I was saving myself for anything, but I had a lot of baggage from past trama. I waited for someone who would be there for me if I had a panic attack and what take care of me and make it okay, regardless of what happened.
My boyfriend and I are in it for the long hall, but I wouldn’t regret losing my virginity to him if things hadn’t worked out.
Gosh, I wanted to lose mine at age 12 cause the attractive girls were, but no one wanted me. Thankfully. I would have just been doing it to prove I was cool and not realizing I would’ve jsut been used.
When I did lose it (as an adult) I still was used, but I was glad to have finally done it, not because I wanted to have sex, but it was a way of growing up, becoming an adult. Took a lot of lube, too.
“Was”? I’ve always imagined that most of the female dopers were still virgins.
My smartass answer is that men view it as something to be rid of as soon as possible. 
I know several women who viewed (past tense) it as something special, to preferably (sic) be saved for marraige.
Most IME tend to view it as special, not to be given away lightly, but not really to be saved for marriage.
Right. And most male dopers live in their parent’s basement and beat off all the live long day to Photoshopped nudes of 7 of 9. :rolleyes:
Perhaps, but my image of male dopers is a little different. I have them in two categories: the white-full-bearded 60+ year old retiree in his den with maps on the walls, and bookshelves groaning under the weight of encyclopedias, The History of Middle Earth and the proceedings of the Tolkien Society. And the trimmed-goatee-bearded late 20s early 30s suburbanite with maps on the walls, and bookshelves groaning under the weight of encyclopedias, The History of Middle Earth and the proceedings of the Tolkien Society.
I actively sought to get rid of mine. I figured I’d spent plenty time as a virgin, why not try something new? I picked out a likely boy (one I wasn’t too interested in or emotionally invested in) and went at it.
Worked out fine for me. I had some pretty awesome sex in my teen years.
I thought it was something special.
I waited until I was 18, and was with a long term boyfriend, who turned out to be a total s***, but that’s beside the point (and two years later, he wasn’t at the time).
I still believed it was something special and while perhaps not to necessarily save it for marriage, at least wait until you are with someone that you respect and love - and that feels the same way about you.
That way they will be gentle and it will be a loving experience.
My first time was fine - not what I hoped, but what is?
I know some girls that waited until marriage and part of me wishes I had as well - why rush?
We are for you, rog. 