Seems like virginity was highly prized in the past. I wonder if modern society has lowered the premium on it.
If you knew you would be someone’s first lover, would you think it was just “good” or wow, spectacularly, amazingly wonderful? Is this something you would actively seek out?
Does gender affect things? Is male virginity prized at all?
I don’t think anyone I’ve ever slept with has been a non-virgin, so I’ve never really thought about virginity. I guess it’s a good thing - I don’t like sharing my toys. 
I remember reading an article (in Cosmo, so let’s not get too excited) where they featured some women who got their jollies from ‘initiating’ male virgins. They liked their stamina, enthusiasm, and the idea that they would be remembered for the rest of their lives. But I don’t know … it gives me the mental image of these women hanging round schoolyards and propositioning little pre-teens. “Psst, you! Do you want me to show you a good time?”
Well some kid tried to sell his on ebay for $4000 once , value , maybe but its devalued by the youth of today who just want to throw it away as soon as possible , funnily enough 100 20> were asked and most of them regreted their first time because it was poorly executed and or drunkend state thing.
But then experience is also valued perhaps more nobody really likes a lousy fuck
That’s gonna get a lot of laughs, but let me tell you: there’s truth to it. The first girl I had sex with had no idea what she was in for: we had sex twice while we were dating, for a combined duration of probably two and a half hours, and I never did climax. The first time we did it, I think we went about an hour and twenty minutes and by the time we mutually decided to give up, she was exhausted and couldn’t have gone another minute. A few weeks later when we tried again, we sort of concluded after an hour or so that we weren’t getting anywhere.
I was really worried that years of self-pleasure had messed me up. Fortunately, the next chance I had (a couple of years and a couple of girlfriends later), I … um … came through with flying colors. 
I think people my age (20s) are impressed with virgins. I remember being 17 and 18, and if someone found out I was a virgin they would be so impressed that I had waited so long, which was kind of weird for me. I had a friend I saw once in a while who would always say, “Are you still a virgin? Are you still a virgin?” And when I said yes, he would think my intact hyman was the cutest thing ever. When I answered no for the first time, he was really sad.
When I was all of 18 and still a virgin, I got a lot of “Are you waiting for marriage? That’s so adorable!” No, I just wanted to have actual feelings for the person I had sex with. Not too many people related to that, unfortunately.
But I don’t think many people care one way or another. My friend told us she had sex when she was 12 and at 21, had had 23 sexual partners. No one really thought that was crazy. I’ve only had two, and no one really cares that my number is so low.
When I was still a virgin, I have to admit that guys I dated thought it was the hottest thing ever. They seemed to really want to be the first.
Is Virginity valued?
I guess so, but West Virginity is still the better vacation spot, IMHO.
I used to get that from people too. “What, you’re 20 and still a virgin? Oh my god that’s adorable!” I still haven’t the foggiest notion what’s so adorable about never having had sex.
My excuse was slightly different. “Because nobody wants to have sex with me, dammit!” This brought waves of faux sympathy, but no sex.
Having lost my virginity at a very young age… I have encounterd a few virgins…I was torn between feeling slightly weird… this person will likely remember me for the rest of his life… to OMG if I teach him the wrong things he will forever be a screwed up lover…(yeah like I would teach him the wrong things… geeesh) It is pretty interesting to be with someone who has no experience… I mean I almost feel like Dr Frankenstein… I can mold this man into whatever I want…lol… kidding. But I have to say I have enjoyed being with men with more experience. On the whole though I think saving your virginity for the time you feel it is right is a wondeful thing. I really wish I had waited a lot longer then I did.
well, being a 21 year old virgin (hey, are you laughing?? stop that!) i find that a lot of females find it cute, and a lot of males want to ‘remedy’ it. i don’t really care, and no, i’m not waiting until i’m married, just until i meet someone i truly care about. as for whether or not it matters if a guy’s a virgin, well, i think it’s cute as well, and honestly, the more females a guy has been with, the skeevier i think it is. but the bottom line is who he is on the inside…that’s way more important than the number of partners.
oh, and as for value of it…i find that in the U.S. (at least among my friends) it doesn’t matter so much…overseas it’s a different matter
In response to the OP, no, I guess I really don’t value it. I mean, I guess it would be an interesting variation, but to be honest, sex (for me) is only at its best when she knows what she’s doing. I have no problem with “guiding” someone toward what I like specifically, but I think it would be a little less than exciting if I had to teach her every little thing.
Maybe I’m not normal, but I don’t get the whole “it’s good to be a virgin” thing. Like the saying goes, practice makes perfect!
The boyfriend (21) and I (18) are both virgins, and I like it better that way, even though I’ve dated non-virgins.
YMMV.
I never had anyone care in the least whether I was a virgin or not, including, unfortunately, my first, who should have at least been interested enough to make sure I had a good time. When I was in the position once of finding myself to be someone else’s first, I was very careful to make sure they had (from what I could tell) a ripping time.
I see no particular value in virginity. Sex has got to be the only field of endeavor where some people feel that a lack of experience is a plus. I’m afraid that attitude has always baffled me.
Well, one possible pro-virginity reason is that you are almost 100% guaranteed not to catch a STD from a virgin.
Well, I was a virgin when I met my husband (in my mid-20’s) for the reasons most of you females mentioned…I didn’t want to lose it enough to have drunken party sex with some bozo. I wasn’t a virgin long after meeting him, though!
Now that we’re happily married, I think it gives him a warm fuzzy that I haven’t slept with anyone else. No trouble meeting old boyfriends in restaurants and thinking, “was he better than me? More endowed than me? Is she thinking about doing it with him right now?” etc.
My very own mother told me that both she and my dad were virgins when they got married. But she says that learning together was great, no anxiety about being not so good at it with an experienced partner.
So, I would say that virginity is still highly valued by some, for all the reasons we’ve heard here already (enjoying teaching the newbie; wanting to be remembered; virgins wanting to learn with the virgin they love; wanting someone who waited for love; etc) and not valued at all by some (“nobody really likes a lousy fuck”).
Talk about YMMV!
“It is one of the superstitions of the
human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.”
Voltaire (aooarently - I don’t have a citation)
I guess I’ll join in here as the voice of the past. I grew up in the day when there was a definite double standard. That meant that girls shouldn’t have sex and it didn’t matter about guys.
I couldn’t bring myself to have sex with some gal that I knew would put out and that was the only reason that I was dating her (dating then was much different than today). This meant that although I was not a virgin when I married, I didn’t have much experience. My wife was a virgin and that was important to me and to her.
It was rather a mixed bag. We have learned together and we have no doubts about the faithfulness of the other. It has caused some trouble because she says it was very hard to go from “Nice girls shouldn’t do it” to hanging from the chandeleir.
One problem I see is that if both partners wait and then there is a divorce, what was it all for? Since the divorce rate has become so high that would naturally put less value on virginity. Also the number of unwed mothers devalues it to their children. Some people blame the pill, but if this was so then why are there so many unwed mothers?
An argument that has been used is that if someone will have sex with several people before marriage, why will they suddenly become faithful to only one. As stated this is important in my marriage, but times have changed and you’ll look at it different.
Sorry to butt in but I thought maybe I could give you’ll a little different perspective.
Virginity should be valued only if it has taken effort to retain virginity.
So in my case, no.
I was very blessed in that the man who I gave my virginity to [sub] (can’t say I lost it…because I freely gave it)[/sub] valued it. He knew what it meant to me not only physically, but, also emotionally and spiritually.
The value that we placed on that moment in our lives made it one that we will never forget.
In respect to the original post, I can’t say that I would intentionally seek out a virgin in order to “initiate” him.
All my lovers have been virgins.
Sometimes more than once.