Should’ve put OLDER virgin in the tag line. This has actually happened to me. I went out on a date with a woman who was 27; I believe I was in my early 30s; around 31, maybe. The date was okay, nothing too grand, but good enough to see her again. But we were talking on the phone when she let out that she’d never had sex.
It was a bit strange. I could tell it was hard for her to say, there had been no indication she was a “prude” or religious fundamentalist, or anything. I myself only lost my virginity in my early 20s (I’m in my 40s now). In my own case, I was just really shy, and didn’t have many natural opportunities to have sex for a long time. So I didn’t really judge her for this, but still … I didn’t call her again.
It’s hard to describe what I felt, exactly, and I think some women would be offended by it. I just felt like there was a piece missing from her, and I didn’t want to deal with that. If you hit it off with a woman sooner or later sex is on the table, but with her, who knows what might’ve happened? It injected a layer of uncertainty well beyond “I might not get laid with her.” I could imagine a lot of drama and hassle around something that is normally straightforward. I was not at all interested in being her “first” and having her entire idea of sex coming from ME, good or bad. That was just more responsibility than I wanted or needed.
I felt for her, in a way, because I remembered how much I wanted it too. Probably her best option was to date a bit more and wait until SOME form of physical intimacy occurred, then say she definitely wanted sex, but was “inexperienced” and tentative. I don’t think guys—especially younger ones—are super judgmental of how good women are in bed, so less info might’ve been a better way for her to go.
Never a second time. 
Yes, several in my life.
What happened? I got to know them for who they were at the time and gave no thought as to how I would know better about them and what they thought than they did b/c of my own preconceived ideas about sex; that would have been incredibly arrogant and assholish of me to do.
Yes. We had a lot of very enjoyable sexual interaction that didn’t involve intercourse.
Yes I did, and my date was a guy. He’d seemed okay, but turns out he was a bigoted religious person. I was divorced, and chaste since the divorce, but on a first date he said he couldn’t marry me because his sect wouldn’t allow him to marry a divorced person.
Well, no thanks! It goes without saying that was a first and last date.
Yes. In the period after I had been divorced, I was set up with someone who I dated for a few months. It wasn’t a topic of ongoing conversation, and I always subscribed to the principle of “when she’s ready she will let me know”. However, I definitely felt that we were at different places in our lives, this being one indicator. She had made it into her late 20s without having had a deep relationship. My interpretation was that her conventional middle America catholic upbringing had emphasized chastity. The fact that I was a divorcee probably scored me points for being the “risky and dangerous” guy (I am anything but that).
But we didn’t really have a mutual spark, so we didn’t continue. It is an open question as to if we had had a sexual relationship whether there would have been more passion, yah?
Probably the last time was when we were both about 23 so I guess that’s a no.
Yes, we kissed and fondled a lot, she allowed anywhere- but her clothes on.
Yes I did. After a divorce ended my ten year marriage, I dated sporadically for a half dozen years then started seeing a much younger woman at work. She was a virgin, strong religious beliefs. We married a year later, still half pure, and we’re still going strong 30 years later.
Realizing that we got a condensed version and not a transcript, I don’t understand the OP. My wife has a friend in her mid-40s who won’t have sex without being married. If it was something like that I could understand not continuing to date. But if she just had not found someone she was comfortable with, give it a little time.
Twice when I was living in Taiwan. One was a next door neighbor and the other was someone I was tutoring. Neither of which I had any sort of relationship with. Both had been “promised” to a particular boy shortly after they were born by their fathers. Both were beautiful local girls that were to be married in a few weeks and neither had had any sexual experience and didn’t want to go into the wedding night “blind”. I was the perfect “instructor” because I was a foreigner and was unlikely to tell anyone.
They both kinda of pretended it was a “learning experience” by asking lots of questions, but it was clear they were having a good time.
They left with their virginity in tact. ( See Intercrural sex ).
We did it.
I was that virgin.
Answer: BJ.
Not wanting sex until marriage is not automatically the same as being a virgin. It isn’t common, but it IS possible to not be a virgin and still want to wait. That would’ve made more sense to me. I think the real problem was that it was TMI after going out on one date.
Long story short, we got married, and twelve years later we’re still together.
I went out with a virgin, until she dumped me for JFK Jr.
[/obligatory Seinfeld reference]
Yes, we were both asexual.
What happened? Nothing.
We got married. She was 37, and I was 41 and previously divorced. Happily married, 16 years later.
I’d dated two others, previously. I helped to, uhh, graduate them both and show them a better way to live.
True. I’m assuming the one I dated was a virgin but I don’t know for sure. I know she wanted to wait with me. I know she was very Catholic. I was a lot more shy then so I didn’t specifically ask. Now I would have asked. I also wouldn’t have dated her for as long as I did then.
You called that right. :dubious:
“A piece missing from her”??? Do tell, Casanova.