Rediculous Things - like Zebras riding the bus...

So I’m riding the bus this morning, and casting about for something to read, I see a stack of pamphlets by the front doors (I was really bored, okay?). Anyways, these pamphlets are all about the bus company’s new policy of allowing animals on the bus. It says, on the front of the pamphlet, in nice big letters:

Small Furry and Feathered Pets Can Now Ride The Bus!

So what do they choose to illustrate said pamphlet?


Yes, that’s right, everyone’s favorite small furry (or feathered) pet, the zebra. Mm-hum.

I’ve been thinking about this all day, for some reason. Just thought I’d share.

Zebras are cool man.

Don’t go dissin the bus ridin’ zebra man!

Bad karma.

Hey. Zebras have their own place to cross the road.

Never seen one use it though.
Maybe they’re all on the bus?

yep - there are not nearly enough zebra crossings for my liking, so I reckon that must be the explanation. All those lazy horses-still-in-their-pyjamas are on the 'bus instead. Although I once worked as a 'bus conductress for the summer (yes, showing my age a bit), and I never did see a zebra. Hmm, maybe they avoid cities.

We have Pelican crossings too, of course, which I think is rather discriminatory - why not other water birds? And why are they crossing roads instead of swimming somewhere nice and watery with fish in it?

Incidentally, what about those rather worrying signs about “Heavy Plant Crossing”? I mean, they leave one looking arund for something like a triffid - that would be one heavy plant to encounter.

What do you have against me riding the bus? I have to get to work. I want to help the environment by taking public transportation. Yet some people, and I use that term loosely, just don’t want to get along. Where’s Rex Harrison when you need him?
(As an aside, do they allow lizards on the bus? They are not furry or feathered.)

You know, I wondered about that too (like I said, I spent all day contemplating this). The way they mention furry or feathered makes it seem like they have something else in mind - snakes? Lizards? Dunno.

I should have mentioned in the beginning - later in the pamphlet it says the pet has to be in a carrier or cage. So even if you have a pet zebra, i still don’t see how you would get it in a cage onto the bus.

When I was in Africa, I saw some zebras.

They weren’t riding the bus.

But then again, neither was I.

I guess that’s only fair.

I’m having amusing visions of that one part in Life of Brian where we are introduced to the People’s Front of Judea.

-“I want to ride the bus!”
-“You can’t ride the bus because you won’t fit on it”
-“You’re oppressing me!”
-“But zebras can’t ride on buses!”
-“What if we agree that in principle the zebra has an equal right to ride on the bus, even though it won’t fit and thus will never actually get on a bus?”

Can someone explain to me why **I ** have to cross the road at very specific points while everybody else can cross where ever they damn well please?

It’s not fair!

Think we could see a scan of this pamphlet? I’m really curious now!

Well, I didn’t bring one home (I know, after I said I was so fascinated by it), but I’ll see what I can do.

Rediculous. Crazzy. Surreel.

Sorry but spelling errors are a pet peeve of mine, especially in thread titles.

Ghanima, as long as it is in a carrier, your spelling errors can ride the bus.

Is that peeve furry and/or feathered?

Could it fit in a cage on a bus?

What about small furry homo-sapiens? Would Robin Williams need to be put into a cage before being allowed on the bus?

And pre-Rosa Parks, did the zebras sit in back of the bus, in the front, or did they run back and forth alot?

Those signs confused the hell out of me at first when I visited England. I had no idea what the heck they were talking about! (“zebra crossing” is not a term used in the US)

Except when making football referees angry.

Finally black and white may share public transport in perfect harmony. Lovely.

Eeeebonyyyy and iiiivoryyyyy …

Zebras should be covered by zeshirts.