I’ve got a purdy mouth?
Uh, what does a pig sound like?
My LAST canoe trip!
Yer freckles look like
The rust spots on my pickup
yer a purty pup
Ants on my moon pie
are tickling my mouth-- haw!
This shore does taste fine!
Trailer on its side
since that goddamned tornado
y’all climb on in, hear?
White bread, may-o-naise!
I like to screw my sister,
in lawn-car on blocks.
Maw’s beanie-weenie
bloats me like roadkill possum.
Hand me the Tums, quick!
I cannot decide
Which name to choose for my son
Elvis, or John Wayne?
Playboy door lock guards
Reclining nude sihouettes
Mades it go faster.
Auspicious wedding
Which baseball cap shall I wear
Red Man or John Deere?
Yes, I am the one
Who thinks that it is funny
To use “K” for “C”.
It’s really just a
Men’s club, sorta like the Lions
Except with white hoods.
He’s so uppity
With his goddamned double-wide
Gentrification.
“It’s just plain genius
Putting a McDonald’s here,”
Said the Wal-Martian.
Rasslin is fer real.
It’s them goddamned moon landings
Which is plainly fake.
Well, I know one thing:
Ain’t no rocket scientist.
And I can prove it.
Jerky jar, Sav-Mart
Siccative: do not injest!
Teriyaki bliss
Pabst Blue Ribbon eve
Cleetus! “Mama’s Family” is on!
Duct-tape’d EZ-boy
Woodpecker – window strike
Formaldehyde’s subtle kiss
New table setting
Hairy shoulders rest
Under thread-bare cotton tank.
Sunday in the church.
Chrome. Nude silhouette.
Adorning the mudflaps on
My big Chevy Truck.
Can’t have a gun-rack.
The “Calvin Peeing” sticker
Would not be in view.
I ran out of gas.
Filled my tank with some moonshine.
I made it myself.
Do you like my shirt?
They call it a wife-beater.
Don’t you sass me, bitch!
yo, jerry springer
wut you bin up ta there, boy?
got any more bitches?
ah, yes. A cold beer
settin on my girlfriend’s ass
Cowboys set to win
“Seen m’tooth, Joline?”
“It’s in the Hungry Man, Jeb”
“Hoo-wee, we’re gonna eat!”
Vi-ennies on the dash.
Cocktail hour at sunset. Damn!
It don’t get no better.
First day on the pond.
Frog-giggin’ at midnight. Ah!
Don’t taste like chicken.
Strange lights in the sky
what do those aliens want now
man, does my ass hurt
The Weekly World News
Highest quality news source
Elvis is not dead
Bo, Luke, and Jesse
Dukes of Hazzard on cable
who needs Shakespeare
Oh silver duct tape
miracle of the ages
don’t need body shop
He asks me, “Jeet yet?”
What in the hell does he mean
gone too deep in South
Favorite writer?
Gotta say Jeff Foxworthy
Wish he wrote fiction
My sister, my wife
All part of hillbilly life
Genetic mayhem
Lunching on the road
You gonna eat that possum?
If you don’t, I will
Shotguns and weddings
Buckshot part of mating dance
Love triggers our bliss
We’ll be on TV
Media stars for a night
Episode of “Cops”
Mongo boy on porch
Picks banjo for city dudes
We’ll fuck them later
Just ate Chicken.
T’was a darn good meal, you see
Chicken was our dog.
Billy Bob Thornton
I want to be his next wife
Cuzins should be mates
Love masturbating
with the family album.
My cousins are hot.
Rip off all your clothes.
You shure got a purty mouth.
NOW SQUEAL LIKE A PIG!
Sis in a tube top.
My heart beats fast beneath my
“No fat chicks” T shirt.
Dented steel grows warm.
My Nova catches the sun.
Big lawn ornament.
Ford versus Chevy
The great conflict of our time
Pass the fatty, man
Monster truck rallies
They make rosiewolf giggly
Gives life real meaning
Truck on cement blocks
Skoal, shotguns, and maidenhead
These make good dowry
My lazy cousin
Don’t know shit from shinola
Who else makes the hooch?