You know you're a Redneck if...

The BBQ Pit
1

Before you start I know this isn’t really a Pit thread, I just figured what with the drastic increase in the percentage of slack jawed yokels currently clogging up the boards with their crap this thread could work both for us as a source of fun and for them as a sort of self-diagnosis book without them spreading to other forums. Lets give it a try, shall we?

You know you’re a Redneck if…

  1. Any member of your family has ever said “Hey, y’all, come an’ look at this afore I flush it”.

  2. You took out a second mortgage on your pickup.

  3. You can’t see what’s funny about King of the Hill.

  4. You can accurately draw your family tree with your eyes closed.

  5. Any member of your family is called Cletus and you DON’T make fun of him about it.

*** BONUS ***

5 things a Redneck would never say

  1. We don’t keep firearms in THIS house.

  2. I’m a vegetarian, no steak for me.

  3. Actually I thought Graceland was tacky.

  4. Tommy, leave your sister alone.

  5. Checkmate.
    Ok, your turn now.

2

You know you’re a redneck if any member of your family has ever died after saying “hey y’all, watch this”.
Other things you’ll never hear a redneck say:

“Well, here’s an episode of ‘Hee-Haw’ that we haven’t seen.”

“You can’t give that to the dog!”

“No kids in the back of the pickup truck, it’s just not safe.”

3

You know you’re a redneck if…

-You have a relative who is both your aunt AND your cousin.

-There are at least three cars up on blocks in front of your house.

-You have a swinging screen door with at least two patches in it.

-Your idea of a “good time” ALWAYS includes a sixpack.

-You’ve ever eaten something you’ve run over.

4

You’re related to yourself.

5

What are a redneck’s last words?

“Hey, watch this!”