I once heard somebody say “sweet meaty Jesus.”
For my next miracle, I will turn this water into funk! 
Ahem. I’m surprised nobody’s said “Jesus Christ with a rubber crutch” yet.
Finally, someone else who appreciates the pure comic genius of this line!
I think you are all making the baby Jesus cry…
Christ on a stick!
“Jesus Christ in a cardigan sweater.”
I heard that one in an episode of “Tales from the Crypt.” I forget the details of the episode, but I believe it was Cathy Moriarty playing the character who said it.
Creeping Christ on a cross!
Jesus Christ Joe, Tom Waits sings a song about a chocolate Jesus.
Some of my favorites:
Jesus Christ on a Cracked Wheat Cracker
Jesus, Mary and QBert!
then again i use other derivations of the theme like:
By the snowy white beard of my Lord and Savior ZZ Top!
Holy Moses in Hot Pants!
Buddha’s Balls in a Basket!
and the like
Since this thread seems to have (ahem) arisen from the dead …
Are you sure? You wouldn’t want to rule out “Holy Mutant Jesus!” now would you?
When people around me say, “Oh my God!” I just respond with , “Yes, what did you need?”
SO, basically we are both on the down escalator to hell.
This one is now my favorite and I will use it at every given chance…except in church. Somehow, I think it would not go over too well.
Jesus Haploid Christ!
Holy Ghost, Batman!
Holy Emmental, Batman! (OK, not strictly related, but hey.)
Christ on a cross!
(Sorry, Jesus. Do you mind?)
Really? I could have sworn it was “Hoobastank.”
This thread is making Mel Gibson cry.
Well, I don’t care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I got my anal Jesus,
Sittin’ in the dark crack of my ass!
(Actual reply to someone who misheard ‘analgesics’ as ‘Anal Jesus’)
Jesus F*CKING Christ hopping around on pogo stick in the fires of Hell on a particularly hot Saturday in July!
After seeing clips from The Passion I think “Jesus Christ in a blender!” or “Jesus Christ in a meat grinder!” might become popular.
Holy Jesus Action Figures 
By way of secular balance, the Jesus action figure Angua’s linking to is only one of a range of historical figures, which also includes Franklin, Einstein, Freud and (not shown) Shakespeare.
(Someone gave me the Einstein one as a Xmas present. Great hair.)
Episode 12: When Ailens Attack
The Planet Express Crew is discussing the ailen invaders’ desire to see a 1000 year old episode of Single Female Lawyer, which was interrupted because Fry spilled beer on the transmitter in 1999. The ailens will raise the earth’s temperature by 1 million degrees a day (for 5 days), unless they see the episode.
Bender: They must just want to see that episode. Let’s find a tape and give it to them.
Amy: There aren’t any copies left.
Farnsworth: No, there wouldn’t be. Most videotapes from that era were damaged in 2443 during the second comming of Jesus.
And my personal favorite Jesus phrase:
Chocolate-covered Christ on a pogo stick!