Regional humor.

[pyromyte]

Q: How do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky, Loo-ee-ville, Lewis-ville, Loo-a-vull?
A: Frankfort

[Dung_Beetle]

Two rednecks went to a Georgia Bulldogs football game. Uga waddled out on the field, sat down, and proceeded to lick his balls.
One of them good ol’ boys exclaimed, “Sheeyit! Wish I could do that!”
His friend turned to him with a shocked look, “That dawg’d bite yew!”

(I wish I could reproduce my uncle’s Jawja accent, it slays me to hear him tell this joke. Especially “biiiiite yewwwww!” which has the same intonation as a shocked little kid pointing and saying “OOOoooo…”)

[Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party]

What’s the difference between a sock and a camera? Ones for five toes, the others for four toes.

A Wiganer takes his cat into the vets. He says to the vet: ‘can you have a look at me cat, it’s ill?’ The vet asks ‘is it a tom?’. The Wiganer says: ‘No I brought it with me.’

A Wiganer decides he want to have a golden statue of his dog made so he goes to the jewellers and asks how much it would be. The jeweller asks: ‘Do you want it eighteen carat?’ The Wiganer replies, no I’ll just have it chewing a bone.

[blondebear]

@Koxinga

If you’re from waaay out in the sticks you should be able to read this:

Person A: “M R Snakes”
Person B: “M R Not”
A: “S A R. C M B D I’s?”
B: “L I B! M R Snakes!”

Person A: “M R Ducks”
Person B: “M R Not”
A: “S A R. C M E D B D Wangs?”
B: “L I B! M R Ducks!”

A B C D Bees?
L M N O Bees.
O S A R Bees.
O S I C D Bees!

[Senegoid]

@voguevixen

My cousin is from Southern Indiana and they all tell “Kentuckian” jokes, which to be honest are recycled Polish jokes for the most part.

One that cracked me up was something along the lines of** “Why did it take the Kentuckian so long to paint the stripes on the road? He kept getting farther and farther away from the can.”**

This is also told as “Shlemiel the Painter”. See Back to Basics by Joel Spolsky, discussing a common but baaaaaaadddd way to deal with character data in the C programming language, about 4 to 5 screensful from the top of the page:

Shlemiel gets a job as a street painter, painting the dotted lines down the middle of the road. On the first day he takes a can of paint out to the road and finishes 300 yards of the road. "That's pretty good!" says his boss, "you're a fast worker!" and pays him a kopeck.

The next day Shlemiel only gets 150 yards done. "Well, that's not nearly as good as yesterday, but you're still a fast worker. 150 yards is respectable," and pays him a kopeck.

The next day Shlemiel paints 30 yards of the road. "Only 30!" shouts his boss. "That's unacceptable! On the first day you did ten times that much work! What's going on?"

"I can't help it," says Shlemiel. "Every day I get farther and farther away from the paint can!"

[Senegoid]

OP ask for jokes that works for people “in the know”. So could this thread also be for jokes that only people with specific technical knowledge (like mathematicians) would understand?

Here’s one that I made up on the spot in Calculus one day, while studying analytic geometry:
– What do you call the rendition of Euclid into English?

Translation of Axioms

Another chapter, we were finding centroids of a lamina. (Basically, that means the center of gravity of an irregularly shaped region.) Next to the related question on the chapter exam, I wrote:
– “Where does a thug go when he breaks out of jail?”

On the lamina!

Yes, these aren’t “regional” involving local accents or dialects, but they entail that you have to be “in the know” to get them.

[TriPolar]

From NYC and surrounding area:

Jeet jet?

No jew?

[tdn]

@blondebear

A B C D Bees?
L M N O Bees.
O S A R Bees.
O S I C D Bees!

Lo

lo

rubc?

S, vrbc

funex?

S, vfx

funem?

9

mnx

vfn10em!

[Annie-Xmas]

Minnesota person commenting on my New England accent: When someone talks like you around here, we look to see if they got a mouth.

My Reply: When someone talks like you in New England, we look to see if they got a nose

[Hogfather65]

@PaulParkhead

West Central Scotland, old joke:

A guy walks into the baker’s shop, points at something on the counter and asks “Is that a donut or a meringue?”

The baker replies “No, you’re right enough son, it’s a donut.”

This

[Siam_Sam]

The girls who hang around the entrance to the bars over here in the red-light districts will beckon guys with “Hello, Dahling!” in English. But hold on there. If you listen closely, sometimes they’re not saying Dahling at all, but rather Na Ling, which is Thai for “Monkey Face.” This passes for high humor among bargirls.

[Telemark]

A one ‘l’ lama is a holy man.
A two ‘l’ llama is a South American pack animal.
What’s a three ‘l’ lllama?

A: A wicked big fire.

It works best when spoken by a true Bostonian.

[TruCelt]

@Telemark

A one ‘l’ lama is a holy man.
A two ‘l’ llama is a South American pack animal.
What’s a three ‘l’ lllama?

A: A wicked big fire.

It works best when spoken by a true Bostonian.

You misspelled “fiyah”.

[Nobody]

@Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party

A Wiganer takes his cat into the vets. He says to the vet: ‘can you have a look at me cat, it’s ill?’ The vet asks ‘is it a tom?’. The Wiganer says: ‘No I brought it with me.’

I get this one.

A Wiganer decides he want to have a golden statue of his dog made so he goes to the jewellers and asks how much it would be. The jeweller asks: ‘Do you want it eighteen carat?’ The Wiganer replies, no I’ll just have it chewing a bone.

I get this one.

What’s the difference between a sock and a camera? Ones for five toes, the others for four toes.

I don’t get this one.

@Telemark

A one ‘l’ lama is a holy man.
A two ‘l’ llama is a South American pack animal.
What’s a three ‘l’ lllama?

A: A wicked big fire.

It works best when spoken by a true Bostonian.

My high school Spanish teacher told this joke.

[tdn]

@Telemark

It works best when spoken by a true Bostonian.

A man gets into a cab on Mission Hill. “Take me to the hospital!”, he tells the driver. “Peter Bent?”, asks the driver. The man replied “No, I just bruised it a little.”

[tdn]

@Nobody

I don’t get this one.

Four toes = photos.

[Nobody]

@tdn

Four toes = photos.

:smack: Of course, it’s so obvious. Of course, I never would have gotten it without being told, so thank you.

[tdn]

@Nobody

:smack: Of course, it’s so obvious. Of course, I never would have gotten it without being told, so thank you.

I know because I had a roommate who wrote a rap song called Photos. One of the lins was “What do you get when a little piggy gets cut off?” “I guess ya get fo toes.”

Bad puns do not belong in hip hop.

[bordelond]

@TheChileanBlob

How do we know the Three Wise Men were firemen?

They came from afar. (“a fire” in Southern)

This reminds me of one that’s probably told all over the world. I’ll give the New Orleans-area version:

Q: How do we know Jesus wasn’t born in Chalmette?

A: There aren’t three wise men or a virgin in Chalmette!

[mcgato]

@blondebear

A B C D Bees?
L M N O Bees.
O S A R Bees.
O S I C D Bees!

Not sure if it still open, but there was a Tampa restaurant called CDB. It was named after a book that was written entirely with single letters replacing words and/or syllables. So the picture that went with the title of CDB was a couple of people pointing at a bee.