Relationship/s disaster

I’ve had a two year online relationship with a woman I know from Norway, and have subsquently have been in one other relationship with an Iranian woman who lives near me, she dumped me in January, she didn’t know about the relationship I had with the one in Norway. Now, after a couple of months, I seem to be getting into another relationship with a girl because basically I don’t know how to let her down gently.

Now the plot thickens, her mum works at the same place where I do, and I’m afraid that if I somehow stop the relationship from going further I will be facing some serious backlash when I go to work. I took her daughter out to see X-men 3 yesterday, and then to the pub for a drink, where I then kissed her, held her hand on the way home. So in essence, I’ve got two relationships, one which I don’t really want to get into, yet have given the hint I do, and another where I have promised I’ll visit her (which I really want to do) but cannot afford it.

This is all coming from the top of my head, I’ve not really explained this to anyone, not even in my family, but the pressure is getting to me. And it seems I’ve broken my own rule (which was never mix business with my personal life which I keep pretty seperate) and I’ve come to a point where I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’ve gone from a normal, solitary life (which I enjoy) and now have been catapulted into two relationships at once which I have no control over. So what the hell can I do?

One movie, one drink, one kiss, and one walk, all occuring on the same evening, constitutes a *relationship * these days? I mean, I’ve been out of the dating scene for quite some time, but I didn’t realize things had changed *that * much.

Seriously though, what pressure? If you don’t want to date the girl, then don’t. I assure you that neither she nor her mother are interested in you dating her because you feel like you should, and I seriously doubt that she’s desperately pining for you after one date. Exactly how wonderful a catch are you under the impression you are?

Okay, Alfie…you need to tap on the brakes a little when it comes to getting so familiar with a girl the first time you meet her. Tell that little voice in your head to chill out.

I agree with DianaG that it doesn’t constitute a relationship, but could definitely be misleading. Stop that. Tell her you’re involved with someone else and take your lumps like a man.

If you’re lucky, she’ll be Shelley Winters and will already have moved on to another beau.

Bet you hate to tell people “No.”

Learn.

Or at least stop taking out and kissing girls that you don’t really intend to get into a relationship with.

She’s been calling me a few times today but I haven’t answered my Cell Phone, and only replied by SMS when I was on my way to the other side of town (to Uni) I then phoned my bro and he then told me she came round to my house. I’m dreading going back to work on Sunday, I feel like it’s all going to blow up in my face.

what useful ways can I say I’m not interested without sounding too much like a Jerk.

She’s at an impressionable age, I’m 20 she’s 16 (don’t worry that kind of dating is quite legal in the UK, so don’t get any wrong ideas) so she might be expecting something different to what I am.

We were in the pub and I actually gave her her first proper kiss from a guy she’d ever had, which has now placed me in a shitty position.

It’s gotta happen. It’s gonna hurt either way, so might as well do it now. Tell her “You’re a beautiful girl, but I am a little too old for you and you really should be dating guys in your school who are a part of your world. I’m sorry if I got carried away the other night- you really are wonderful to be around- but let’s let that night stand alone in our memories. We shouldn’t continue this” Then resist the tempation to come hanging around again- you will only make false hopes. She’ll spend a couple of weeks upset about it, and then forget it all completely.

It may be legal but that doesn’t make it right.

Suck it up and tell her the truth. You’re not interested.

It was nice to meet you and I had fun, but I’m already seeing someone.
Why is this such a difficult sentence for so many people?

Legal, maybe. Still icky, though. I will however, say that I now understand why you’re concerned about her mother. If **I ** were her mother, I’d kick your ass.

Three steps to straightening out your life:

  1. Grow a pair
  2. Tell the girl you’re not interested
  3. Stop dating minors

FYI her mum knows about me, and for what is apparent fine with it. She is employed at the same job I’m at, which started this whole predicament in the first place.

Okay, so… You have one of two options.

Either
A) You can be a standup guy and tell her you’re not interested, and her mum may be a little put out with you for a while and then get over it, or
B) You can duck her calls, duck her mum as much as possible at work and you’ll get a reputation around the office for being a grade A jerk.

Which appeals more?

Second that. You might find a girl of legal drinking age more fun in a pub, and much less weird.