I like Zsofia’s suggestion.
Keep half the money in an account for your niece, as a security deposit. When she leaves, use it to repair any wear and tear beyond normal and refund the rest of it to her.
That way, you’re not taking it under false pretenses, if your niece is a good tenant, then she gets the whole thing back, and if she’s not, you have the funds to repair the damage she’s done with no hard feelings.
I agree with everyone else. Keep the money. Give her 1/2 when she moves out. While she’s staying there, if you can find ways to pay her some of her money back (like having her babysit for the kids once a week while you take Kim out), that would give her some extra spending cash, while being productive. And I’d try to steer her towards something that’ll pay a bit more than minimum wage.
StG
Those are, of course, imaginary children. And while I’d like her to get a better job and will help if asked, the consensus among Kim & my sisters is that I’m incredibly controlling given the slightest excuse, and I have already been threatened with a kick in the balls if I go all Gepetto.
May I add a wrinkle?
What happens if Loser Boyfriend shows up? And what if Loser Boyfriend shows up and Liz gets all starry-eyed and moves back in with him?
About the rent…who came up with the number of $200? I agree, paying a third of her income PLUS food PLUS gas may be a stretching it a bit…how is she supposed to save up enough to move out on her own?
I think she has to pay something, but you may want to sit with her and figure out if her income is really only $600/month and make adjustments accordingly. Maybe instead of paying rent, she does some housekeeping.
That would require him to refrain from imbibing marijuana long enough to become ambulatory. Having met Loser Boyfriend, I judge that unlikely. His biggest issue is that he’s so apathetic as to be nearly catatonic. I wasn’t there for the move, but my sister reports that he began to weep at the prospect of having to get a job and pay the rent, and that Liz nearly sprained her eyeballs by rolling them so hard.
ETA: I believe Liz came up with that amount. She’s very afraid of putting me out; she thinks she has to earn my affection, and I’ve never figured out how to convince her that she does that by breathing.
Maybe you and Kim need to work on the kid thing. Who else are you going to leave your evil empire to? Pay her to be a part-time cleaning lady, or to change your oil, or clean out the flying monkey cages.
StG
Can you be more specific about the various relationships here? If you are outranked, so to speak, by your wife and her sisters it’s probably wise to back off at this point. You say that it is your sons half sister, which if my mental juggling is correct, that makes her the daughter of an ex of yours?
As a practical matter, if she wants to pay rent then I think you should let her. I don’t think you should turn around and spend that money on hookers and blow. It should be mentally put aside for possible future financial help towards Liz in the form of an appropriate gift.
The sisters are mine. I hesitate to say there’s any rank involved, but if there were it would be in my favor; Kim is a full-time-student, and my sister was there because (a) she drives an SUV and thus was able to get everything out in a trip, and (b) she was simultaneously feeling generous, bored, affectionate, and cruel. (I think she was looking for an excuse to yell at the Loser Boyfriend.)
[Fabulous Creature mode]
Foolish Terran. As if I, truest suitor of Death, would drop progeny. I have seen to it that, upon my death, this entire pathetic orb is destroyed in such a fasion as to cause maximum trauma to you and all your mewling ilk.
[/fabulous creature mode]
She should definitely pay rent: it helps her self esteem, and will make her feel less beholden to you, as I’m sure she is feeling already. As for the amount - most young people spend between 30 and 50 percent of their income on rent (sorry, no cite), so $200 is technically reasonable. I would maybe knock it down to $100, and give her some chores that she is responsible for. I personally would find putting the rent in a savings account thing pretty condescending. When she moves out, feel free to offer to help with her security deposit, but I know I wouldn’t be comfortable with that as a gift; I would rather have it as a no-interest loan. Just because you are poor, doesn’t mean you aren’t proud. YMMV of course.
I come from a different culture, one with different priorities in situations like that. So take my opinion with a grain of salt, but I agree with her. All I can say is that if someone did that to me, the results would not be pretty. Accept the money, don’t accept it, accept less or tell her about setting it aside, but don’t betray her lightly.
Don’t do the set aside money thing.
Liz is old enough to do that negotiation. Those $200 are what she’s agreed on. Let her know that you’re open to renegotiate the deal if at any point she wants to, but that’s it.
In Spain we wouldn’t call it rent (there are legal differences), we’d call it “contribution to the household finances.” She’s contributing with money but I imagine there will also be a chores contribution. How much is in terms of chores and how much in terms of hard cash is something which each family (defined as “group of people who share a home”) needs to decide individually but involving every member.
Do this. Earn interest on the money in the bank. Just give her the money she payed you back at the end of her stay, and everybody gets something out of it!
Liz wants to pay, personally I’d take the money full stop, any money towards paying the rent is a bonus, plus there’s the inconvenience of having another person in the house, you know, queuing for the bathroom, etc.
There’s nothing immoral with accepting the rent, 'cos that’s all it is, rent!
Kim’s argument is silly. Liz will really appreciate having a helping hand when she moves out, everybody likes free money! Plus, Liz is (presumably) an adult, if she wants to pay, let her.
Doing this will teach her to manage her finances better. And at the end of it, you can reward her if she does well!
I’m with those who say whatever you do shouldn’t be kept secret from her, or offered up as a “surprise”.
Let her know that you are fine with accepting rent to help offset the additional utilities, water, etc., that having a third person in the house will generate. However, as important as it is to learn the lesson of paying rent timely every month, it’s also important to learn to save first.
Take your income
Take out savings first
Take out rent
Take out insurance and other necessary expenses
Take out food and toiletries
What’s left can be spent going out to dinner, movies, etc. And if there’s nothing left, oh well, you stay home and watch TNT reruns.
But savings first.
How much should she set aside for savings? Well, she should start with a least 10% of her income, in this case, $60.00. Fifteen to 20% would be better, and compound faster, but you guys will have to come up with a figure she’s comfortable with.
Once you have that number, deduct it from the $200 she wants to pay for rent, and either go to the bank and talk to someone about investment options (standard passbook savings, short or long-term CDs, etc.), or look at some of the online savings banks, like Emigrant Direct or ING, etc.
Let her be a part of doing this set-aside every month, either by depositing that portion of the money she’d otherwise give you herself, then give you the balance, which is now the new rent amount, or by you making the transfer via your bank and giving her the monthly bank statements on her savings account so she can see how it’s growing.
I wish you all the very best!
That’s possibly the smartest thing I’ve read all month. Bear in mind I’m about 20 feet away from the collected works of Joseph Campbell.
Your house, your rules. You get to decide what amount, if any, Niece the Rhymer pays. You also get to decide how those funds, if any, will be used. She’s offered what, $200? I say take it, keep half, and save half for her. That way she’s paying her own way to a certain extent, but you still have a nice little surprise for her down the road.
Warning: You will lose serious street cred among the World Domination crowd for doing this kind of thing. Hell, I recently got accused of being a “big ol ball of mush” for admitting I like the puppy cam. You’ll need to unleash the winged monkeys on something to save your rep.
You are very wise. You should also close your windows if you have something against flaming monkey poop, as I assume you do. 
To riff on Shayna’s idea, maybe a redo of that budget is in order, to put saving first, and then let her make you a rent offer after savings. So, say she decides to save $60 a month, and offers you $140 in rent instead of $200. Of course, you’ll accept it.
Then offer to *match *her savings each month. She saves $60, you match her $60 (out of that $140 rent, or out of your own paycheck, or wherever. Once the money’s yours, you can do whatever you want with it). This will encourage her to keep saving, not just *resolve *to save, and she’ll grow her nest egg more than twice as quickly, especially once she learns about interest!
Hopefully after several months of living with you and learning how to save, it will become habit, and when she’s ready to go out on her own, she’ll keep it up.
I would agree, you first want to make sure Liz plans on saving. But then, why not take her lesson in financial management one step further – tell Liz that you are planning to invest her rent money in something, and if she helps you pick a winning investment, you will share the profits with her.
Won’t make her feel like she’s living on your charity, and a good motivator to get her familiar with financial realities she needs to pay attention to. Heck, just the “this is what we could make on savings account interest, and this is what we could make or lose on the stock market” part should be an eye-opener for her.
I think Shayna has the best idea so far.
In some ways this reminds me of how frustrated you were when Kim was dealing with that asshole at work. You wanted to do something for her - an admirable goal - but realized she had to work through it herself, and that you’d support her no matter what. You are a good planner, and wish to help the people you love. Admirable qualities. It’s hard to let go and let them do what they can. Even when you know it’s the best thing for them.
Put me down as another vote for talking again with Liz and expressing how you feel about taking 33% of her income for rent. I like the savings suggestion. I also like the matching contribution suggestion, too. (But I share at least that much with you: I like to help people I love, too.) I’d also consider incorporating some of Nava’s suggestions: Work out her contributions to the household economy, but don’t accept monetary contributions as Liz’ only, or even major, contribution. Let her use some sweat equity to cover her share.
Nothing to onerous, say have her get into the meal rotation, or do dishes, and then do a weekly deep clean of the common areas. (Which, in a well-maintained house, shouldn’t be more than four to six hours a week, I’d think.) Just some humble suggestions, tailor them as you see fit, of course.