Religious Toys

So my daughter is in her CCD class (uh… Catholic Sunday School) when she tells a story of how she saw a bobblehead Jesus at the mall the other day. So for the remainder of class, they ‘invented’ different humorous religious toys for fun and profit. Dear Jesus, I mean no blasphemy.

So, in the spirit of fun, and taking a light poke at religion, what kind of toys would you fellow dopers like to see manufactured? I’ll throw a few out there that they came up with… Some probably already exist.

Pope on a rope. (When my daughter told me about this one, I thought of the joke about what’s the difference between a lady taking a bath, and lady going to church? The lady going to church has Hope in her Soul, the bathing lady has soap… you get the picture.

candy necklace rosaries

Jesus Pez despenser

Anyone remember Fr. Guido Sarducci’s: Find the pope in pizza?

Christian ones:

See 'n Say Bible verses (you know–point at the picture, pull the thread and it says "Deuteronomy 4:42 says . . ")

Saints and Martyrs Collectible Trading Cards (I bet these exist)

A do-it-yourself Mass Kit (for little Catholics): Comes with paper vestments in a liturigal color (collect them all), a plastic chalice, and a supply of candy-coated wafers. Real working censer sold separately! Look for our line of altar boy (and girl) clothing and coming soon–be the first in your parish to get your bishop’s miter!

And for the young Druid:

Baby’s First Sickle–it comes with mistletoe!

Well, this site http://ship-of-fools.com/Gadgets/Toys/ has a variety of Religious Toys - gotta love the “Biblical Action Figures” or “Nunzilla”. And of course, there are the Jesus Sports statues http://www.catholicshopper.com/products/inspirational_sport_statues2.html

You could hardly improve on the Jesus sports statues.

For the Pagans (and their children) in the audience:

Pagan Action Figures!!

Odin and his 8-legged horse, Sleipnir!

See Thor swing mightly Mjolnir and kill the Etins!

See Freyr and Gerda… uh… er… bring spring back to us! :smiley:

who had a 7 inch high plastic statue of the Virgin Mary; but on the other side it looked like a…a…well, it vibrated.

No link, but there are religious-themed sex toys out there. My personal favorite (which I don’t own) is the Jackhammer Jesus, which is a crucifix attached to a big dildo.

There’s so much stuff here that it’s hard to imagine more. :slight_smile:

Either I’m hallucinating about my past, or this triggered a memory. I seem to recall having priest paper dolls (circa early-mid 60s) with all the different vestments. I’m guessing it was designed to teach all good little Catholics what the vestments were and the significance of each piece. Anyone else ever see any such thing, or should I seek a good shrink??

a bit off-topic, but http://www.divine-interventions.com/ has to be the most inappropriate religious “toys”. Check out what they said about Judas.

“Imagine if he could fuck the son of god, what he could he do for you!”

The “Baby Jesus Buttplug” is just too cute. I can just see next year’s nativity scene in the front yard…:eek: :eek: :eek: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

I’d like to see liquor flavored communion wafers and big breasted nun dolls the size of Barbie, that you could undress. Also a pope figure that sings like that stupid fish when you clap at it. Maybe an interactive confessional booth with random recorded messages.

I seem to recall someone on the boards having a fire-breathing(?) nun figure called “Nunzilla”.

Watch your knuckles, here comes Nunzilla.

I have both the nunzilla and a Jesus action figure.

I love the Jesus action figure.

Buddy Christ lives!

Wow did this ever get skewed from the light hearted chuckling of good fun I expected this thread to go in!

I was expecting things not quite so, uh, blasphemous.

Oh well. I asked for it.