This raises red flags for ADHD. Maybe worth getting checked out if you haven’t already.
It’s like I’m afraid of being excited because it could all be yanked away. So far, everything is sticking but we will see as time goes on. I miscarried at 6 weeks last time. A week and a half to go till I get there.
I think one of the drawbacks of keeping pregnancies shrouded in secrecy for the first 12 weeks is that expectant mothers don’t realize how common it is to have fear and anxiety mixed along with the anticipation. Pregnancy to the outside observer is seen as nothing but a celebration but there is a lot more nuance to the experience for many women.
Insta-rant: I just sat down on my sofa to watch Jeopardy, but ABC is pre-empting with election coverage. No flash news, no additional states called, just back and forth with the usual punditti instead of airing FUCKING Jeopardy! 
Totally agree with you - we did have him checked out a couple of years ago. The doc said he had mild anxiety, which can present kind of like ADD. So it could be that or just the start of the term. He had nearly a week where he got to just kick back and chill and do nothing and sometimes that vacation brain gets the best of him.
Either way I’ll help him through - as kindly and calmly as I can. The teacher’s accepting corrections, so it’s not the end of the world. Just aggravating. And hard to remember that we’re all living our own reality. So if the anxiety gremlin has decided to show up again, we’ll need to put it down pretty quickly. As long as I’ve got the Pit so I can complain into the Internet, I’ll be able to be more chill. Is it just me or does parenting seem more high stakes now than it was when we were growing up?
Last night, our local NBC news team went long covering the election, and started flashing up a graphic of where to find Wheel of Fortune on each cable network. And saying “We’re getting a lot of calls, you folks do like your Wheel…”
I hate to be That Guy, but it’s actually Drew Carey.
I’m not sure. But I know that I worry a lot about Spice Kit’s adolescence and he’s only eight months old. It sounds… difficult.
That’s what I get for trusting 20-year-old memories. Nowadays I shouldn’t even trust 20-minute-old memories.
I regret saying this. I really shouldn’t give voice to my angriest thoughts, especially not by using a violent metaphor. It wouldn’t by okay for a public official to use this language and it’s not okay for me.
Series of petty little rants that have added up enough to make me cranky today:
It’s Friday, going to treat myself to real coffee. Leave the house at 6 so I can be back by 630 to start work. Starbucks is closed (Whee COVID!) Try a little coffee shop nearby. They don’t open until 8. Why so late? Beats me. Well, I’m already late for my 630 sign on, may as well go to Caribou. Guy in front of me orders six complicated drinks. One barista.
Since I’m already in for a penny, after I finally get my drink, decide to hit McDonald’s. Haven’t been there in forever, and two breakfast burritos and a hash brown sounded good and is pretty cheap. Last time I ordered that, it was about $3.75. Today? $5.40.
Reason I wanted to fuel myself (albeit not very healthily) is because I will be spending my afternoon working in the yard. I tried to hire a new local company for autumn clean up - two young brothers, local, want to give them a boost. If they would respond timely. First inquiry was Tuesday. Last I heard from them was yesterday at 11am when they said they could come over in the afternoon. I asked about what time. Radio silence. Dudes, I’m trying to pay you.
Anyways. Sign in to work at 650. Start reviewing cases transferred to me overnight. First case has a very clear order: If person does X, agency will do Y. Person did X four months ago. We never did Y. And you’re going to send it to me, thinking I’ll clean it up? Previous worker says “I’ll look at it”. Nope, you’re getting it back. All the errors are not going to stay in my name. Next case was sent to me without any of the pre-transfer work done. Nope, you’re getting it back, too. Oh, look, someone went in to one of my cases and made changes for no reason, and now I get to fix that, too!
Our so-called public transit system has done it to me again. Lately, I’m averaging one Lyft ride a week just to be able to keep my job (and for my trip, that ride costs more than a week of bus fare!), since the drivers apparently consider such things as schedules optional.
Went in for routine blood work for my thyroid, low and behold I have severe anemia ! WTF! Have to go in for a transfusion on Monday! I’m freaking!
Great.
Floaters.
Sometimes turning my head to see what wierd black squiggly thing’s flying into my periphery.
My wife has a ton of medical issues. This year she developed a large nasty hernia to add to the list. We were told surgery was a possibility, but that it would be “high risk”: both because the hernia was large and nasty and because of her medical history. OTOH, leaving it in was also “high risk.” So she opted to have the surgery.
She went into the hospital October 12. The surgery went fine, if a little “complicated” in the surgeon’s words. But then she wasn’t healing properly, and it developed that there were indeed “complications.” She had another even more major surgery on the 19th. Followed by two “cleanout” procedures, less major but still under general anesthetic. All that really put her behind the eight ball.
So now it’s November 7, soon to be November 8, and she’s coming up on four weeks in the ICU. There’s been very slow progress–she’s no longer on a ventilator for example–but she still needs nutrition pumped in and it’s a victory when she can sit for a few hours in a chair instead of being in the bed. She’s often not very coherent either–today I told her that Biden had won and it didn’t seem to register.
So, I’m worried of course, and distracted, and tired. Did I mention the hospital is 50 miles away? And that 30 of those miles are on a super-narrow road that twists and turns and ups and downs through hills and ridges? I’ve been to visit about 15-16 times, pretty much any day I can manage, and it’s…wearying. And work doesn’t stop, nor does taking care of the household and the rest of the family.
Well, I’ll try to keep focusing on the small victories. And tomorrow is another day. And tomorrow I’ll stop at one of the state parks along the way to the hospital and hike for an hour or so–it’s supposed to be beautiful here. It’ll help. But I’m still tired.
Oof, that would make anyone tired. I’m so glad your wife has you for support. I think you’re onto something good with “one day at a time.” It sounds like she is slowly healing. You’ll get there.
I know when I’m feeling completely beat down I know I can kind of “reset” with a good night’s rest. Sleep well.
Best wishes for your wife’s recovery. And may your hike be restful and restorative.
Also, please take precautions on the hike. Nobody starts one of those thinking they’re going to lose their way
I hate hay fever.
Holy cow, I’m tired just reading about it.
I hope your hike helps with your exhaustion. Is there any way possible for you to take a “me” day? If so, please try to do it. It sounds like you are going to run out of gas both mentally and physically soon.
I can’t speak to work, but for the home and family tasks: find help, and/or find little things you can let go. Paper plates & plasticware is fine - saves on time and energy washing dishes. Order takeout instead of cooking (unless cooking is your de-stress hobby of choice, of course) and don’t worry about minor tasks like dusting or whatever.
Best to you & yours.