Renaming Classic Movies

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Look at this list of movies:

  1. The Godfather
  2. The Shawshank Redemption
  3. The Lord of the Rings
  4. Schindler’s List
  5. Casablanca
  6. Star Wars
  7. Pulp Fiction
  8. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
  9. The Usual Suspects
  10. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
  11. The Silence of the Lambs
  12. Sunset Blvd.
  13. American Beauty
  14. To Kill a Mockingbird
  15. The Maltese Falcon

Now tell me, with no knowledge of the movie, having neither seen it or read about it, could you tell what any of these movies are about. A Godfather? Some form of making good? A jeweller? Someone going shopping? A holiday, perhaps? Fueding movie stars? Books, birds, bunglers, bomb makers, sheep, streets, roses, birds and birds??

Well you get the picture. I am sure our teens aren’t interested in these movies simply because of the obtuse titles they have been given. Compare them to pithy, self explanatory titles such as:

Dude, Where’s My Car?
Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Meet The Fockers
Wedding Crashers

Now how easy is it to tell what they are about. Dude, where is his car? Two named individuals procure comestibles from a well known chain. Two aggrieved chaps exact revenge. A schoolboy, or worker perhaps, has a day off. Some people meet Fockers. And finally a group of indeterminate size attends a wedding to which they were not invited.

It seems to me that renaming some of the old classics using this title=plot paradigm may increase their popularity. For instance:

  1. Vito and Michael Strike Back
  2. Andy: The Warden Slayer
  3. Don’t Tell Sauron Frodo’s Got The Ring
  4. 10 Things I Hate About Nazis
  5. I Know What You Did In Paris
  6. Gunfight At The OK Corral

anyway you get the idea. I’m hoping that someone from a major studio spots this post and offers me a job in marketing.

2

On TV tonight: Wyatt and Billy Buy Drugs.

Name that movie.

3

Easy Rider

I’m trying to think of more.

4

If you want dumbed-down-so-anyone-can-get-it titles for old movies, just see what they did (and sometimes still do) when they showed these movies in countries like Mexico. For instance, “Jaws” became “Tiburon”, which simply means “Shark”. I always found this practice insulting.

5

“It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World”

“Don’t Tell Mom Kevin Spacey’s the Bad Guy”

“The Fellowship of the Bomb”

“Leave it to Lecter”

“Follow that Bird!”