Hail to the chief!
If we vote for him, does that mean we get eaten first?
Robin
I do wish you’d read more carefully. The candidate states quite clearly that Cthulhu cultists will be eaten* last*.
He’s been running for years, but, even with the support of the real fundamentalists, he’s always performed poorly in debates. However, the republican establishment doesn’t try to discourage him, since he can eat any candidate they’d rather not see get in.
I’ve seen Cthulhu sites before, but I doubt there’s ever been a better political slogan than “Why vote for the lesser of two evils?”
Although I think I actually like the Campus Crusade for Cthulhu’s slogan better - they made Campus Crusade for Christ’s “I found it!” into “IT found me!”
I hardly think Great Cthulhu is going to be a Republican. Yes, he’s evil, but there are forms of evil that aren’t Republican. I’d guess Cthulhu’s attitudes towards most laws are fairly Libertarian; he doesn’t care to legislate anything. He’d rather just devour you.
So you’re saying he thinks of our flesh as a free market?
My Ouiji Board tells me that it had considered taking the Libertarian ticket initially, then impulsively decided against that in favor of randomly assailing all voters with nightmarishly chaotic distortions of local reality. At the last minute it decided to associate itself with a legitemate political party, the obvious choice being the Republican party so as to appoint Dick Cheney as a running mate. Irrespective of the actual election I expect it will just accept victory and continue the campaign of agonizingly random acts of violence which was the hallmark of the previous administration. It has some pretty big boots to fill.
Aw, crap, we’re the country that gets screwed first.
Should I, for one, start welcoming our new tentacled overlords?