What’s on your “must-have” list for someone with whom you would stay in a long-term relationship? Why?
Give me as much or as little as you like.
Blinding intelligence. Someone smarter than I am, so I have to work to keep up with him.
Clean-cut, reasonably in shape, easy on the eyes.
Physically, nice eyes and broad shoulders are all it takes. If he’s taller, say 6’2 at least, bonus.
But those don’t really matter in finding “date” material as opposed to lust material. I don’t care if you look purty, can we talk? I need someone smart, someone who I don’t find myself dumbing down words for. I need someone who I don’t feel the need to hide my dorkish self around. I need someone who’s not shocked that I can form complete sentances, just because I look a certain way. Yes, you can have nice boobs and still read Shakespeare! I like it when they can cook, but it’s not as important as someone who appreciates my cooking and is stunned that I can make a kick-ass baguette to go with dinner. I need someone who has at least a minor interest in world politics. I need someone who will watch the news with me and have an intelligent discussion afterwards.
And their parents need to like me. I’ve never had a problem with my partner’s fathers, we always seem to get along. But if the mom doesn’t like me, I can’t do it. And I will try my hardest to get her to like me! Especially important since my last man’s mom really, really did not approve of me, which I found quite hurtful.
- Smart. Must be smart enough to follow me when I get depressed, swig tequila and start making obscure references.
- Willing to try new stuff. There’s nothing more depressing to me than being stuck in a routine. So when I call and say, “Hey, tomorrow night we’re going naked skydiving. You in?” I want the answer to be “Sure, I’ll give it a shot.”
- Un-clingy. No explanation needed.
- Outgoing and able to strike up conversations with others. My basic acid test for this is whether or not I can leave somebody unattended at a cocktail party for more than 10 minutes without getting the evil eye.
My major “must-haves” are a wacky sense of humor and a kind, forgiving nature. Fortunately, I found a very handsome man who has those qualities. I would have married him even if he’d been a warty old toad.
- Smart
- Un-clingy
- Fiscally responsible
- She’s got to have friends and hobbies of her own too.
As you can predict, I’ll be a single fellow for quite some time.
Someone I can relate to. When I think of all the women I’ve really felt strongly for the vast majority were women I felt comfortable with.
Aside from that things like emotional maturity, stability, fiscal responsibility, not taking anything too seriously and not being needy or demanding all are important to me.
Looks: Mostly unimportant. A certain cuteness helps.
Gotta be smart. Nerdy: major plus.
And I’m not sure what to make of this, but every woman I’ve ever seriously dated didn’t wear makeup. Not wearing makeup is a plus in so many ways.
cute counts.
But for me, a sense of humor. I think that a sense of humor is an immediate signifier of intelligence. Or at least a level of compatibility, intelligence-wise.
Open-mindedness, and a sense of wonder about this world we live in. No immediate reaction of disgust if food of another culture is mentioned.
I could care less about the size of your breasts.
Show me you can sing, even if incredibly poorly. At least, in my company, feel comfortable enough to sing.
Read the newspaper, or cnn.com, occasionally.
Feel totally uninhibited when we’re together in bed. Lord knows I will.
Be cute (again). Make funny faces. Stick your tongue out.
Don’t be concerned about make-up. You’re beautiful they way you are.
Tell me about your fears. And worries. And listen to mine.
Realize it’s ok to spend hours in each other’s arms without feeling the need to talk.
Must haves:
Sense of humor: Someone who can see the humor in situations. Someone capable of laughing at himself, although not self-deprecating, and doesn’t mind my sarcasm.
Intelligence: Someone I can hold a decent conversation with, who loves debating (although not all the time.)
Doesn’t necessarily have to agree with my religious beliefs (or lack thereof) or my political views, but accepting of them and not attempting to push his views on me. However, a willingness to discuss his views and beliefs, and mine, is welcome.
Someone who enjoys singing with me. I am an awful singer, but I love singing at the top of my lungs along with the radio in my car. I need someone who can bear the sound of me singing as well as be able to lower his inhibitions enough to be able to join in.
Someone who loves animals. I am totally animal crazy. I couldn’t be with someone who hates them.
Trustworthiness.
The ability to be both a good listener and a good conversationalist.
Friend of mine said this a long time ago, and I’ve never forgotten it;
“I need a woman with a Low Bitch Factor.”
Nearsightedness and desperation.
Well, hello Monica. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? 
The best I can think to do is share what’s on my Match.com profile. If there’s something not listed (eye color, religion, etc.) it’s because I don’t have a preference.
Freeform “about my match” field: We’ll be off to a great start if you’re honest and straightforward: for example, you won’t say that you don’t care where we go to dinner when you really do, and you won’t make me wonder whether you’re having a good time. Not everyone’s a great writer, but you should have a grasp on the basics of English spelling and grammar – and please don’t use shortcuts like typing “2” instead of “to.” No one over the age of 14 should write that way. 
It will also help if you live close enough to facilitate casual dating: getting together for dinner shouldn’t require an act of Congress. I don’t expect you to read as much as I do, but I’ll be happy if you’ve read something other than “The DaVinci Code.” I’ll also be happy if you’ve dated other women since your divorce/the end of your long-term relationship/1984. Oh, and you should be willing to tolerate a Yankees fan. I think that covers the basics . . . everything else, we can play by ear.
The rest of these are answers we choose from a pick list; I have no say in the wording/available options.
Height: Between 5’5 and 6’3 (I’m 5’3)
Body Type: Slender, About average, Athletic and toned, A few extra pounds, Stocky
Education: Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral
Smokes: No Way
Drinks: Non-alcoholic beverages only, Social drinker (maybe one or two), Gave it up
Previous Relationships: Widowed, Divorced, Several committed relationships but now single, Committed relationships but never married
(My) Turn-ons: Flirting, Dancing, Erotica, Thunderstorms
(My) Turn-offs: Long hair
This sentence is what makes me think that you’ll be single for quite some time.
Yeah, I already said that.
Someone who can wander around the produce section with me snickering about Black Adder episodes, then move on in topic to Hellenistic art. Must be able to roadtrip for 10+ hours at a time without being too much of a dick. Must be able to benchpress significantly more than me; preferably also able to throw me over his shoulder and carry me off. A nice ass and shoulders don’t hurt, either.
Luckily, I found him and married him.
Must be about the same height and build as Mr. Athena. Must have the same sense of humor and like the same things as Mr. Athena. Must have dark hair, wear glasses, and have a beard and mustache, like Mr. Athena. Must like pugs, and motorcycles, and computers, like Mr. Athena.
Guess I’ll just stick with Mr. Athena. 