Ladies, lets hear it: What's the most important thing in a man?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Now that I have some time to reflect, I’ve begun wondering: What qualities do women really like in men? And I don’t mean the obvious, like “good looks.” I’m thinking more like what qualities would all women appreciate, regardless of age or life experience? Is it sensitivity? A willingness to listen?
And I suppose this question could be broadened into other realms too, like “What makes a good lover?” A willingness to try new things? Being gentle? etc.

I know things like this vary from woman to woman, but I figure there3 must be some common denominator. What is it? I consider myself lucky to have figured what the one thing I must have in a woman before I could ever be attracted to her: intelligence. Seriously. SHe must be at least as smart as more. If smarter, that’s great! (No wisecracks please. :)) So what is the female version of this?

Hope this question itsn’t too confusing…

2

Speaking just for me -
self-confidence
subtle but wicked sense of humor
intelligence and curiosity
honesty

Looks and money and status come and go, but these things last…

Of course, a nice ass doesn’t hurt either… hehehehe

3

The Y chromosome?

(I’m sorry, but some one had to say it, & as an ex-biology teacher, I get first dibs!)

4

The ability to make me laugh. I can’t be with someone I can’t laugh with. This means he has to be intelligent, too, 'cause I don’t seem to share a similar sense of humor with guys who aren’t.

Goldie
Gentlemen DO prefer blondes – and with good reason!

5

I agree with the Fairy, above. But I’d also add:

Good Grooming

He doesn’t have to be perfectly attired at all times or have his hair cut every week—I mean clean, decently-dressed and take some pride in his appearance. The looks nature gave you aren’t as important as what you DO with 'em.

6

OK. I’ll play… not that having this laundry list has ever helped me find a date.

  1. Intelligence. You said it – must be as smart or smarter. A good intellectual seduction works far better than a physical one, in my book.
  2. Sense of Humor.
  3. Secure in himself. Insecure men are threatened by strong, intelligent, independent women, which shrinks my dating pool significantly…
  4. Open-mindedness. Some of my very close friends are gay. Homophobes need not apply…
  5. Financially sound. Doesn’t have to be rich, by any means. But should have his own car (even if it’s a beater), should NOT live with his mother and pays his own bills without trying to get me to do it.
  6. Honesty. Nobody likes a cheater.
  7. Good listeners. My biggest beef with many men is they hear only about half of what I say. I take this as a sign of no respect.
  8. Respect. Speaking of which… He should not treat me like a bimbo. (Apologies to any bimbos reading this).
  9. At least 1-2 similar interests. So we have something to talk about once we get to know each other.
  10. Ability to communicate. I just hate guys who won’t tell you what’s up, then blow you off because that’s easier than dealing with their issues.
7

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Um…I guess it differs from woman to woman.

Once I made a chart and the y axis were the traits that i looked for in a man and the x axis had the names of sevral people i was interested in.

The traits were:

  1. Presence of psychosis (makes for lots of laughs)
  2. Love or at least tolerance of the Cure
  3. FIZZLE (must be spelled with asterisks, it refers to the fizzy feeling upon sight of the interest
  4. Heart of Strawberries
  5. Buys me toys (no, not THOSE toys- I mean little rubber bats and plastic dinosaurs. They make me so happy.
  6. Love or at least tolerance of/by my friends (it makes things so much easier if we all get along)
  7. Loves me

Each man would be rated 1 to 10 on each of these traits.
I dated a guy once who scored a -1. It didn’t last long.
The highest score anybody ever got was a 48. My current pretty boy scored a 41, very decent.

So, uh… these criteria probably make me undesirable by most, but if you’re looking for a woman like me, there ya go.

8

Do we have to like later Cure, when Robert Smith began writing those happy-ish songs, or can we stick to “Disintegration” and earlier?

9

Turp, Pretty boy buys you plastic dinosaurs to put in your lunchbox as companionship for the doctor. I assume that he gets a lot of points for this.

He only scored 31 on the other 6 categories combined?

:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

10

No, 41 is a very good score because I am very stringent in my ratings.

He scored a 4 for the little plastic dinosaur.
In order to get a 10, the guy would have to but me a Toys R Us.
In order to get a 10 in “love or tolerance of the Cure” (any cure, but older Cure is better), you have to be Robert Smith.

The only trait in which Pretty Boy is a little deficient is “Presence of Psychosis”. I am willing to overlook that.

11

Right now just looking for someone to make me laugh, Oh, and cook…

12

Make you cook? Oh, well, I can do that.

13

There is no common denominator.

Seriously.

Say my thing is a sense of humour (which, as it happens, is pretty important to me). Say my bestest friend also values a sense of humour. Seems like a commonality right? Well, she thinks her current guy has a great sense of humour. As much as I like the guy, I’d rate him maybe a 2 on the humour scale.

Ditto for things such as looks, intelligence, etc. These things are personal, situational, relative. Each person has a different scale for each of them. You value intelligence. Do all guys? No. Do those that do all have a different definition of intelligence? You bet.

Now, having said that:

Intelligence, honesty, and a sense of humour. No falseness. Those are mine.

14

They’ve been covered, but for me I’d say honesty, intelligence (I like a guy who I can learn from who won’t make me feel stupid), and not threatened by a smart woman.

15

The one thing that ALL women want in a man, at some point in their lives, is a good sharp knife.

I’m male. I’m also one of those guys that gets along better with females than males. So I’ve had more than my share of conversations about what women want in a man. And vice-versa.

I hate lumping people together in one large category, but in the spirit of the OP, here goes: Women want someone who will listen. Don’t have to agree, don’t have to point out mistakes, don’t have to solve the problem. Just listen, and notice them for who they are. Communication is a critical part of any relationship for a woman.

That, and a shitload of money. :slight_smile:

16

At this point I’d settle for someone within driving distance.

17

A sense of humor and a playful, adventurous side
Brains and good sense

He’s got to be a decent human being. Simple as that.

Oh, and preferably, he should think I’m pretty neat, too. :slight_smile:

18

I’m not a woman, but I always assumed it was dick size.

19

Values/Ethics - must match mine, or darn close.

Intelligence - must match mine, or darn close.

Goals - career/educational, physical, spiritual, financial, any of these, but must be striving toward something. Stagnation is so unappealing.

Sense Of Humor

R-E-S-P-E-C-T - for a higher power, for me, for himself, older people, children, animals, the environment, etc. Find out what it means to me.

Enthusiasm - throws himself into things wholeheartedly. Everything. nudge, nudge, wink, wink

Perspective - Not easily embarrassed. Must be able to tell the different between a problem and an inconvenience. (Fulghum) This is a component in emotional maturity and #4.

Literate - likes to read, able to communicate effectively. Spelling is a bonus, but not a necessity; hey, no one’s perfect.

Sensitive - how can I feel close to someone who can’t tell me how they feel, or empathize with me?

Responsive - In the sack. That’s a big yummy. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Now, these are all extremely important, but fairly general. If you want specific examples of things that melt my heart, well . . .

Can see the merit in the “chick”/foreign/independant movies that I love. Is not afraid to get up and dance with me, even if he’s not a good dancer. Laughs rather than getting mad. Still has the capacity to blush. Reads the directions. Has something he is passionate about: art, music, science, comic books, who cares, something! Gets along well with his family, especially his mom. Doesn’t show impatience with children or older people. Senses when I need a little reassurance and reaches out to holds my hand or put his arms around me. Digs foreplay for it’s own sake, not just as a prelude to something else. Knows the words to and bravely sings along with the sappiest and the silliest songs on the radio. Notices the little things, like that I always order my water without ice. Listens actively (it’s not enough to just sit there quietly, you have to make eye contact, ask questions, respond!). Stands up for me to other people. Loves to learn about a perspective other than his own. Is concerned about being a good parent. I could go on, but I think you get the idea.

Now, I need to figure out a convincing arugument for why such a paragon of desirable manhood should commit himself to me . . .

20

It’s not the size of the boat. It’s the motion in the ocean. :smiley: