Res Ipsa Loquitur--For My Personal Therapy Only

The BBQ Pit
1

*** AT&T product specialists are happy to assist you with your questions. Click below to begin your live text chat.

Chat representatives will not have access to your personal account. This service is provided to you under AT&Ts Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy. * **

*Welcome to AT&T. My name is Jeremiah. How may I help you today?
Jeremiah: I am happy to answer your questions on AT&T services. I specialize in setting up new phone accounts and High Speed Internet service. *

you: I have Vonage, Comcast Internet, and Sprint Cellular. No current contract obligations. What are my ATT options?
Jeremiah: Would you like me to send you a link with the bundle option for these three options?

you: It is the bundle option that opened this chat window. I do not need that link. I have some specific questions.
Jeremiah: Alright, I will be happy to answer any questions you might have.

you: Can I add text messaging to the cellular service, and if so how much will it add to the bundle costs? If not, what is the per-message charge?
Jeremiah: If you went through and ordered the Cellular service with the Bundle package you will not be able to add Text messaging to it until later after you have placed your order. I am not aware of the fees associated with the text messaging. I currently specialize in Internet, and Home phone new connections.

you: In short, are you unable to tell me what it will cost to set up the bundled service if I add text messaging?
Jeremiah: If you set up the bundle service you will not be able to add the Text messaging feature if it is not included with the bundle that you select.

you: Which bundle includes text messaging, and what is the cost of that bundle?
Jeremiah: We currently do not offer a bundle that includes text messaging.

you: Then why did you say “if it is not included with the bundle that you select?” Where are the choices of bundles?
Jeremiah: I was just saying that if the bundles do not contain the Text messaging feature with the phone service, you will not be able to modify any of the features with the services. If you would like Text messaging you will be able to select these items individually and the prices for the phone service you would like will not change.

you: What is the cost of adding text messaging?
Jeremiah: The text messaging plans do vary. It would depend on the usage package that you would like and I am not aware of all the prices for this service.

you: In short, are you unable to tell me what it will cost to set up the bundled service if I add text messaging?
Jeremiah: If you would like the bundle service you will not be able to add the Text messaging feature.

you: But you just said, " If you would like Text messaging you will be able to select these items individually and the prices for the phone service you would like will not change."
Jeremiah: Yes you would be able to select them individually and not with a Bundle.

you: OK what is the cost from ATT for Wireless as described in the Triple Pack Bundle, plus unlimited text messaging on that line, plus Internet, plus Home Service as described in the Triple Pack Bundle?
Jeremiah: The price would be the same as the price shown in the bundle plus the cost for text messaging that you would add to your cart. I am not aware of the fees associated with the text messaging. I currently specialize in Internet, and Home phone new connections.

you: But you just said, “If you would like the bundle service you will not be able to add the Text messaging feature.” Are you able to tell me what costs are associated with setting up a new home line service from ATT? I have lines to my home but don’t use them because I use Vonage.
Jeremiah: Yes, the only way that you can add Text messaging to your plan is to either get the bundle service now and wait until you have service to add text messaging or you can select standalone products and add the Text messaging. What type of calling plan would you be interested in for home phone?

you: The one described in the Triple Pack Wireless Bundle. Does the type of calling plan affect the set-up costs?
Jeremiah: There will not be any set up costs associated with Triple Pack. The activation fees are waived with this option.

you: Do you know what speeds are guaranteed with the basic Internet option? I assume it is a DSL option. I am fairly near a DSLAM.
Jeremiah: The speed for the basic service will not vary far from the 768 kbps.

you: What about upload speeds? Is there a faster option, and if so, what is the additional cost?
Jeremiah: There are faster option. The fastest that we currently offer is 6.0 Mbps download speed with the Elite package and the price for the will be $34.99. The upload speed for Basic will be 384 kbps.

you: Where can I go to find out the costs of what I want in advance of actually signing up for them?
Jeremiah: You will be shown the total cost and monthly cost in your order process prior to checking out.

you: Thank you.
Jeremiah: You are very welcome. Is there anything else I can assist you with?

you: Well I have not felt very assisted so far so I have sort of given up…
Jeremiah: Well What would like me to assist you with? I am happy to answer any of your question that you may have.

you: What is the additional cost of adding text messaging to the bundled phone service?
Jeremiah: With the bundles phone service there is not a text messaging feature included. Would you like to know the prices of text messaging features individually?

you: I’m not sure how I can ask more clearly… What is the cost of the services described in the Triple Pack Wireless if one adds unlimited Text Messaging to the Wireless Phone?
Jeremiah: The price would be the regular price for Text messaging. The highest text messaging plan for unlimited Text messaging is $19.99 plus the $99.98 for the items in the bundle.

you: What is the cost with the Elite Internet, and does the Elite Internet provide faster uploads?
Jeremiah: Yes the elite speed is the fastest speeds that we have and the price for Elite Internet is $34.99 per month.

you: I am looking for the bundled price of Cell service as described in the Triple Pack Wireless, plus unlimited cellular text messaging, with Elite Internet and with home service as described in the Triple Pack. I am looking for the total price per month of having these three services.
Jeremiah: The Pre-set Bundle options are set to where you cannot modify the services included. IF you would like to have services not included in the bundle then you will need to select the items as standalone products. When you select the items as Standalone products you will be able to see the total costs and also the total Monthly charges.

you: I do not care what ATT calls bundled and what services are included. I am trying to find out what the costs of those services are.
Are you able to give me that information? The forms on the web site do not work.
Is there a link to get the description of the bundled services with the Elite package?
Jeremiah: What type of home phone calling plan are you interested in?

you: I think I will give up on the chat at this time, since I have already reiterated several times that the home calling plan I am interested in is the one described in the Triple Pack Wireless bundle. I wish you more success with your next encounter.
Jeremiah: Have a nice day.
Thank you for chatting with AT&T today. It has been a pleasure assisting you.
Thank you for chatting with AT&T today. Have a great day.

you: I am glad someone took pleasure in it.

2

Panasonic: *Hello, before I can help you with questions about Panasonic products, please describe the nature of your business. Are you calling for a home product? If you are calling for a business, do you work for the government? *

me: I work for a not-for-profit hospital.

Panasonic: *I will send you to the correct agent to help you with your questions. One moment. *

…

Panasonic: That agent is not available right now, so I will be happy to help you with your questions. One moment.
…

Panasonic: This session has been closed at your request. Have a good day!

Equally unsatisfying, but shorter at least.

3

Thanks. That helps, actually.
That was the verbatim chat, btw, which I copied and pasted.

I thought it was me (yes; I know it’s supposed to be “I thought it was I” but hey…).

4

This, in context with your screen name, is really funny.

5

I thought it was me IS correct, not I thought it was I… :confused:
I have had similar experiences with online chat “help”.

6

I don’t want to hijack my own whining but actually I think the nominative should be preferred here. As to what is “correct,” well that’s a whole other thread.

Thanks for the support about online chat help; I didn’t really think it was only I who had had this experience.

7

Just out of interest, how long did this little exchange actually take, in minutes?

However long it was, i think i would have given up long before you did.

8

Perhaps 10 or 15…I was multitasking, of course.

Tough for pedants to cash in easily. It’s more a game than an expectation of a result. The game is to see if the information can be wrung out or not.

9

Does anybody else get the feeling that AT&T may have just passed the Turing Test? I wonder, though – can a machine be said to have passed the Turing Test if it gets pitted aftward?

10

I thought it was actual text, it had that ring of half-human-half-prewritten-dreck to it.

Mine was to the best of my recollection, not verbatim.

11

As an employee, I assure you that no-one is ever required to take or pass a Turing Test. :rolleyes: Or any test that requires common sense, either.

12

Although they’re trying hard to project a unified front, AT&T is a splintered organization, particularly in my part of the country where they recently absorbed BellSouth and Cingular—both of which have been run for many years as completely separate companies. I’m not surprised that they still haven’t completely merged in the wireless division; they probably haven’t even found a way to allow all their legacy database systems talk to each other.

13

That was very comforting. . . er, I guess. :dubious:

I’ve also had one of those conversations, with another product of course. And what’s not comforting is that I might be more of a pedant than the Chief here because I actually kept trying with several more employees. . . in rapid succession. And I got the same nonsense from about 3 . . . in a row!! :rolleyes:

14

I wonder if it was half-human, half-computer. It seems to me that the computer was answering questions it could parse, while a human, who was probably monitoring 29 of those conversations at a time, was answering questions the computer couldn’t handle.

15

I got the impression that a person was selecting replies that kinda-sorta fit from a menu of canned responses, rather than typing out individual answers. But you’re right, it certainly could have been an AI setup.

16

Hello Chief Pedant, My Name Is Doctor Sbaitso.

I Am Here To Help You.
Say Whatever Is In Your Mind Freely,
Our Conversation Will Be Kept In Strict Confidence.
Memory Contents Will Be Wiped Off After You Leave,

So, Tell Me About Your Problems.

17

If you had any idea, you would go back to mailing letters and sending smoke signals.

18

\Echo on

Fuck you Dr. Sbaitso

Fuc you Dr. Sbaitso

Fuch you Dr. Sbaitso

HA!

19

Do you know what a Turing Test is? Because I don’t understand your post.

20

I think they are trying to indicate that most employees of AT&T Could not prove they were more intelligent than a pocket calculator.