If you think all Scandihoovians are animals in the sack, you clearly have not met our esteemed prime minister… 
Hey, just think of Jesse Ventura and Kjell Magne Bondevik sitting down to a state dinner together! Boy, wouldn’t you love to be a fly on the wall…
Minnesota should secede and join Canada, because frankly, Canada NEEDS Jesse Ventura. Our premiers and PM are the worst collection of stupid, boring, unimaginative dorks running any country on the face of God’s earth. They haven’t come up with an original idea since 1970. I can see the First Minister’s conference right now.
JEAN CHRIETIEN, PRIME MINISTER: Okay, welcome to da First Minniser’s conference. I’m appy you could aw be 'ere. I whan a welcome Monsieur Ventoora, da premier of da new province of Minnasota.
THE BODY: Thanks, Jean.
ERNIE EVES, PREMIER OF ONTARIO: It’s customary to call him Mr. Prime Minister. Or so the polls tell me.
THE BODY: Oh yeah? You wanna make something of it?
EVES: Uh, no, it’s not that important.
RALPH KLEIN, PREMIER OF ALBERTA: (Belches)
CHRETIEN: Okay, now let’s talk about…
BERNARD LANDRY, PREMIER OF QUEBEC: This is a provocation! Quebec will separate! English Canadians are mongrels, holding us down and… UUURRRRKKK!
(Ventura hits Landry over the head with a folding chair)
GORDON CAMPBELL, PREMIER of BRITISH COLUMBIA: I like this guy already.
CHRETIEN: As I was say-ing, da next item of da agenda is changes to da formula for da amendments to da Constitution.
JOHN HAMM, PREMIER OF NOVA SCOTIA: I oppose the new changes.
VENTURA: You want some of what The Body’s handing out, Hammy?
HAMM: Bring it on. Let me introduce you to my new Minister of Intergovernmental Affairs, Mr. Hogan.
HULK HOGAN: The Hulkster’s in the house! Have a look at these 24-inch pythons! Nova Scotia is opposed the new amending formula, and I gotta can of whoop-ass to spread over it! What do you have to say about that, huh?
JEAN CHRETIEN: I wanna get us back of da agenda 'ere…
HOGAN: Lemme tell ya something, Mean Jean…
(Ventura leaps at Hogan and they begin punching the hell out of each other)
Canada needs this sort of thing.
Why, don’t you guys get enough hockey?
Ya know, before we moved here from Berkeley, a friend of mine asked me, “You ever look at the weather maps and notice how there’s always a “V” of cold weather that reaches down just to the Twin Cities and stops?”
I had, in fact, noticed that, and now I know why.
Canada is calling out to us…
I think we’ve got a meeting of the minds here.
Washington DC gets the Twins back…
Minnesota may have its freedom.
I’ll cut that deal in a heartbeat.
You mean, slavery is legal in Minnesota?
So, where do the Minnesotans go to kidnap people to sell into slavery? Are only brunettes made into slaves, so that they’re easy to tell apart from the “free” blond population?
Moderator’s Note: Now, see, if this were about some other state, it would go in Great Debates, but since it’s just Minnesota, I’ll move this thread to MPSIMS.
Well, Minnesota certainly is pointless and mundane.
Minneapolis–It Must Secede.
I can’t believe someone was incensed enough to ask for a cite on Carrot Top’s origins.
Also, as a Wisconsinite, I take exception to the “throw in Wisconsin as well” comment.
You, sir, will be first against the wall when the Midwestern, Scandanavian, rather polite revolution comes.
As a transplanted Minnesotan currently stranded here in Wisconsin, I must say that we certainly will not accept this boor-filled state into our exceptionally polite, clean and mushroom-soup-filled revolution. Although I wouldn’t mind stealing Russ Feingold. He’s lost on these people.
And really, lutefisk is pretty good when ya make it right ya know. And I just don’t understand that Fargo movie. Didja see it? We just don’t talk like that if ya ask me. I just about walked out of it then, but I didn’t wanna make the folks next to me move. I hadta sit and drink my pop and just watch the darn thing.
I believe the municipality of Houston would be willing to support the emancipation of our Scandinoovian brethren. For we have found common ground in the size of our mosquitoes.
Uff-dah!
Minnesota’s part of the Union? When did that happen?
Hey UWmite, you are aware that Minnysota has a University too, right? 
You do realize that if your post condemning WI was made on UW computers, you are liable to be hunted down, expelled, and banished back to the land of mushroom soup and Jesse “The Mind” Ventura
But what about those residents of Minnesota who, correctly, play “Duck Duck Goose”? Will they be forced to go along with the “Duck Duck Gray Duck” playing majority? Or will they be allowed to countersecede back into the US?
Also, how will the Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota be affected? What if we unraveled that sucker, and it tried to roll all the way down to Fargo, North Dakota, but it had to go through customs?
Well, we GQ types aren’t known as the Mossad of the board for nothing, doncha know(oops, almost slipped there).
And, as proof of our ultimate righteousness, WE WERE PROVED RIGHT!. QED.
And, just so you don’t forget, we also provided the lutefisk/casserole recipe.
Praise be our name.
I’ve never had lutefisk. I’m not even entirely sure what it is.
Will I be kicked out?
Silver Fire
Pine County, MN
I was born here (in Cloquet), but we moved to Texas and stayed until I was two.
Dear Northern Piper:
Sincerely,
chique
Twins stay. Bud Selig is persona non grata and will be perpetually unable to obtain a Minnesota visa. Green Bay will have no problems obtaining said visa provided they keep losing here.
Ludefisk,Silver Fire, is cod fish cured by packing it in barrels with lye. The corrosive lye dissolves the bones and leaves a somewhat squishy mass of soft grey flesh like goo. This is in turn dried and can then be stored in a cool place for as long as you want. It has a shelf life just this side of strontium 90. In the old days bales of the stuff would be stacked on the sidewalks outside grocery stores once winter set in. The town dogs would pee on it with out making any noticeable change in the taste or texture of the stuff.
Cooked properly it is the high point of the winter festivals in any Midwestern community with Norwegian roots. People will come to the parish hall from all over the township to have just a taste to prove that they are just as tough as Great-grandpa’ Lars. Five pounds of the stuff will suffice for as many as 300 people, provided there is enough hot dish and Jell-O salad to fill them up.
Badly cooked ludefisk is an abomination–a slimy, gelatinous, fishy smelling blob.
In the Old Country ludefisk was a starvation ration. At the bitter end of winter there came a time when you had to eat the ludefisk because the only other stuff that was left was next year’s seed and your shoes. We eat the stuff in honor of the ancestors who had the desperate courage to get the hell out of Norway–a sort of communion in its own way the elements of which are ludefisk and strong, black coffee.
I’m not sure we want Minnesota- not after that lutefisk description Spav gave. The worst we do up here is pour maple syrup on everything.
Okay, okay, there’s fish-and-brewis, too, but don’t blame me for it. It’s a Newfoundland thing.
[slight hijack] I have two friends at Baylor. They love it. It sounds like a great place to go to school if I could afford the tuition.