False; I don’t even drink coffee at home. 
TND has at least one currently active magazine subscription.
True: Newsweek, Naval History, White House History, and Scouting.
The next Doper has visited the White House, and stole nothing.
True. I grew up in the D.C. 'burbs - been there at least three times.
The next Doper has over $100 cash (or its equivalent in local currency) on his or her person.
Seeing as I am sitting at the computer in a pair of boxers, that would be False.
TND has a holiday tradition, not passed down from family, that they have followed for over 20 years.
False. Every Christmas tradition we have either was passed down from my wife’s or my family, or else has been observed for less than 20 years.
The next Doper has never dressed up as Santa Claus.
True.
TND aced a test today!
False – I didn’t take any, not even a “fun quiz” from a Web site or magazine.
TND has no biological children.
True. Or unbiological ones either.
TND moved at least once during his or her elementary school years.
True. I moved between 2nd and 3rd grade.
TND has never taken an illegal drug, with the possible exception of something relatively minor like using a family member’s prescription pain pill.
True.
TND has found themselves feeling guilty about racist thoughts that were condemned in others.
True. Hell, true here on the SDMB on a pretty much monthly basis.
TND claims some significant amount of Native American ancestry.
False. None that I know of, and I’d be surprised if there were any, as none of my ancestors came to the USA before about 1850 or so.
TND regularly watches The Daily Show and/or The Colbert Report.
False, I get my news from Robin & Co. most mornings.
TND has used a car trunk to save money at a drive-in theater.
SSG Schwartz
Heh. I’ve never even been to one, man.
TND has been filmed or photographed naked as an adult.
Yes, under circumstances I will decline to elaborate upon.
TND has at least three different remotes in the main entertainment room.
False. Only 2.
TND has worked as a clown.
False. =Shudder=
The next Doper believes that “The Star-Spangled Banner” shouldn’t be the U.S. national anthem, as it’s too hard to sing.
That’s absolutely correct. It should be “We Will Rock You.”
The next poster has grown completely bored with Lost.
This poster has actually never watched it, but he even gets bored by the commercials for Lost, so you can imagine. 
The next Doper has had an appendectomy.
False.
TND has been arrested. (“Cite and release” counts for criminal offenses.)