What about all those unfortunate people in the valleys?
Regarding a continued lack of gender parity in hiring Concordia’s new department head in charge of student services:
VICE-RECTOR SERVICES ANOTHER MALE
headline from 1010 WINS:
Dr. Who Blew Up His House Left No Will
Well, I guess that lets out another Dr. Who series, then . . .
We have a win-nah!
When I first read that headline 2.5 years ago, I laughed hard enough to cause my sides to hurt. I would like to issue my apologies in advance to any of you reading this thread who might suffer likewise. 
Lebanon Peaks, MA? Never heard of it. Is that where the Patriots play nowadays? Selective Service Stadium, right?
Fire Ends Standoff With Machete-Armed Men
I honestly thought for a second, “Men with machetes for arms? They would be dangerous!”
And it was ended by a wildfire?
Near-Riot Averted - so I guess we had a fully fledged one. Phew, that was close.
and two old favourites from WWII:
**Eighth Army Push Bottles Up Germans
MacArthur Flies Back To Front
**
LOL!
There’s always the famous classic from the NY Post
Headless Body Found In Topless Bar
I always figured that was better than the other way around.
Or George Carlin’s joke headline: “Johnson sends Humphrey Abroad.”
Say it out loud; it’ll be funnier.
Teacher Strikes Idle Students