Ben-Gay-treating the aches and pains of a chariot racer with a secret to hide.
I doubt it’s a real movie, but I once read a list of supposed porn titles online and one of them was E. T. - The Extra Testicle.
Snow Bite and the Seven Dwarves
The chilling tale of seven altitudinally challenged gentlemen who dared to wander in a winter wonderland without any warming wear!
The Breakfast Cub
A group of youngsters bond in their revulsion when they learn that the steak in the steak and eggs platters they’ve been served for breakfast was the meat of a young bear cub from the local zoo.
** Rosemary’s Boobies**–Why Mia Farrow had to have a stand-in for the nude scenes.
** Jesus Christ Superstud**–Why this Andrew Lloyd Webber fan is on a fast ticket to hell.
Fjord of the Ring
A moving tale about a body of water that is assigned ownership of a powerful ring that has the ability to make it invisible…
Good Pill Hunting
In which a mathematical genius with a panchant for domestic chores turns to ecstacy tabs. We follow his search for the perfect trip.
Shoeless
By a cruel twist of fate, Prada is shut down by the IRS and LA’s beauties are forced to attend school barefoot.
Dead Poet’s Sobriety
In which a successful 12 step program is founded, based on a worship of the better works of Keats
Bugger Vance
No description needed. Particularly since I never saw the original
Pump Fiction
The lurid tales of a service station attendant who moonlights as a hitman and spends his spare time at the local reservoir petting dogs that come by.
Pie
A mathematical genius believes that the key to all mathematical problems - including a formula for the stock market - is contained in baked goods.
My Blair Lady
The transformation, by Professor Higgins, of a lovely young lass into a scary urban legend.
Schindler’s Fist
Itty Bitty Gang Bang
Bang the Nun Slowly
(all of the above courtesy of David Spade’s stand-up act)
The Princess Brine:
A witty action-adventure love story featuring a beautiful princess obssessed with pickles.
The Loin in Winter. A story of shrinkage.
The African Queer
Black gay man helps a prim missionary decorate her boat.
How To Bury A Millionaire: Betty Grable, Lauren Bacall and Marilyn Monroe qare high class golddiggers with a terrible secret…
Chocolate
Same as the original, except the characters all realize they’re speaking English and not French.
Incontinence
Famous D.W. Griffith classic about bladder control throughout history, linked by the image of a mother changing her baby’s diaper. Special cameo by June Allyson.
Car On A Hot Tin Roof
Elizabeth Taylor, Paul Newman, Burl Ives and various Yankees pretending to be Southerners try to get an Edsel off their housetop before Santa Claus arrives for early festivities. Much hilarity from football jokes and crutch humor.
Silence of the Clams
An underwater remake, animated in the style of Finding Nemo, aimed at 6-13 year olds.
The Wicker Mat
Christopher Lee oversees pagan loving locals who sacrifice Edward Woodward on a remote Scottish island by making him wipe his shoes repeatedly.