Rewritng Star Wars

Cafe Society
1

If you had the oppourtunity to rewrite Star Wars movies how would you have done so. Here’s by rethinking of Star Wars Episode IV. Enjoy.

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope: The movie starts out more or less like the real movie with Darth Vader chasing Tentative IV in his Star Destroyer Devastator. After a short chase Darth Vader boards Tentative IV with Storm Troopers and in the ensuing battle slaughters the rebels and captures Senator Leia (not Princess Leia). Leia sends her droids C-3P0 and R2-D2 in an escape pod to Tatoonie to give Obi Wan Kenobi her message. The pod lands directly outside Obi Wan Kenobi’s home who immediately sees the message and hurries to Luke Skywalker’s homestead. Kenobi informs Luke that they need to rescue Leia. Unlike in the original movie Kenobi has been training Luke since childhood as a Jedi knight. Kenobi also states that his training has been finished and lets him have his father’s lightsaber. In order to leave Tatoonie and go to Alderran the two attempt to find a transport by going to Mos Eisley. Finally they meet Han Solo, an anarcho-communist rebel and his partner Chewbacca who also work as pilots for Jabba the Hutt. They get on board and journey toward Alderran. Meanwhile a large body of stormtroopers land in search of the droids and kill both Beru and Owen Lars on stage-very brutally. Also tracking down all the ships that left Tatoonie recently they track down one of them is Han Solo’s and thus they go to his employer’s, Jabba the Hutt. In a rather interesting scene stormtroopers kill and shoot Jabba the Hutt which takes a very long time. Meanwhile the Death Star destroys Alderran in front of Leia’s view. Afterwards she is brutally tortured and Darth Vader attempts to force choke her to reveal where the Rebel base is. Admiral Bel Riose is on the Death Star also and he disdainfully watches Darth Vader’s unnecessary brutality in destroying Alderran and meets with other military officers to plot a revolt against the Emperor. Now Bel Riose is a tip of the head to Asimov’s Foundation series and he will have very much the same personality and brilliance as Asimov’s Bel Riose. At any rate Bel Riose in order to revolt gather some 200 ships and orders them stationed around the Death Star ostenibily to protect it. Bel Riose especially despises Wilhuff Tarkin and Darth Vader whom he plots to murder and plots rather then kill Emperor Palpatine to use him as a puppet barely realizing his danger as a Sith Lord. At any rate Han Solo, Chewbacca, Obi Wan Kenobi and Luke along with the droids get on the Death Star and like in them real version rescue Princess Leia. Meanwhile Obi Wan Kenobi duels with Darth Vader which ends indecisively and Kenobi rejoins the rest of the band to get back on the Millenium Falcon, there they journey to the rebel base at Yavin IV. At Yavin IV Bail Organa (who managed to escape the destruction of Alderran), Mon Mothma, Admiral Ackbar, and the rest of the Rebel High Command is present. After some debate a plan is launched to destroy the Death Star by 1) destroying the surrounding fleet and damaging the Death Star and failing that 2) infiltrating the Death Star (led by Luke and Obi Wan) to destroy the central engines. The Rebels are unaware of Bel Riose’s plot to rebel himself. Bel Riose learning of the impending Rebel attack decides it’s time to revolt. As the fighters led by the Red Squadron approach the Death Star, Bel Riose’s Star Dreadnought Emperor Palpatine turns it’s guns on the Death Star along with rest of the ships and begins a massive bombardment of the Death Star and the few loyalist ships. All the loyalist TIE fighters are destroyed except for Darth Vader’s and Luke’s X-Wing blows up the Death Star successfully. The movie ends with Bel Riose proclaiming himself Emperor and signing a treaty of alliance with the Rebels.

2

Walks up to a mod, waves my hand

You will move this to CS.

3

Were you trying to post this in this thread?

If not, the enter key is your friend.

4

Rather than re-writing, I would like to see it re-imagined to look more like Ralph McQuarrie’s original concept paintings.

I realize that Lucas already DID change the look in revisions to the original trilogy. But in my view, he Disney-fied it rather than making it look sinister and dark the way McQuarrie’s work did.

5

I agree wholeheartedly. My head hurt just looking at that let alone trying to sift through it. I think I will retire to my daybed now with my copy of Finnegans Wake for a little light reading.

To the OP: You have got to use paragraph breaks if you want your posts to the readable. That isn’t a criticism of you or your ideas. It is just good style and simple courtesy. The Enter key really does make all the difference in the world for your audience.

6

Welcome to the Boards, Curtis LeMay. I’m moving this to Cafe Society, which is where we talk about movies (books, TV, music, cooking, and all kinds of other artistic and creative endeavors).

7

I won’t even pretend to have tried to read that monolithic block of text. (And can’t really fathom why anyone would want to change anything about the original Star Wars movie, anyway. Buh-wuh?)

My most important change would be Obi Wan’s origins.

Even back in '77, when we first started having solemn discussions about how everything hung together - the general consensus (on my block, anyway,) was that Imperial stormtroopers were clones, and that the Clone Wars were a sort of slave revolt in which the larger rebellion had its genesis.

The cloned stormtroopers did not have names, but rather serial numbers. (eg; “TX412,” etc.) It was understood that Obi-Wan was a clone himself, and part of the original rebellion. “Obi-Wan” was actually a transliteration of the prefix of his serial number. (“OB-1”) This sort of transliteration is the same as that used familiarly for droids. (eg; “Artoo-Detoo,” “See Threepio,” etc.)

When OB-1 was liberated, he left his “slave name” behind him. (“That’s a name I haven’t heard for a long time.”) “Old Ben” is an ironic echo of his original name.

Anakin was assumed to have been a free soldier who made Obi-Wan’s acquaintance during the Clone Wars.

I still think that this is a much more satisfying backstory than what was offered in the prequels.

8

I will use the enter key. :slight_smile:

As for your theory Larry it’s interesting but we knew from the start that both Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker were Jedi Knights. How else would Kenobi have a lightsaber and know the ways of the Force?

9

It made more sense when we were eight.

10

So basically the plot is the same but with a few detail changes? Better to try rewrite the 3 new ones.

11

The best theory I ever heard regarding Star Wars was one presented by an SF mag after Empire but before Jedi.
They posited that the Jedi Knights were clones, and that they had been killed off in the clone wars because of the general fear of their “unhumaness.” Thus OB1 was Obi-Wan, etc…
They also posited that Luke sensed that Vader wasn’t lying when he claimed to be his father because Vader and Luke’s father were clones of each other. They had Boba Fett as Luke’s father, disguised for 20 years, finding and hiding the surviving Jedi while claiming to have disintegrated them.
It was a cool plot and I wish it had been the way things went.

12

The droids land right outside Obi-Wans’ house?? That is a little too convenient.

Like the way that it actually played out better…but some of your other ideas are interesting.

13

Homing beacons guiding to where the escape pods should land perhaps or autopilot by the pod’s computer? The Star Wars universe is pretty advanced to have it.

14

Star Wars Episode V: The Galaxy In Flames: The movie begins with the Riose Empire seizing the planet of Naboo from the Palpatine Empire. This is especially embarrassing for Emperor Palpatine as it is his home planet. Bail Organa arrives and mutters to both Leia and Luke to visit Padme Amidala’s grave. There Organa stays even as everyone else leaves and is heard by Luke saying to himself “Padme, should I tell your children? Should I?”

However more pressing matters attend and Luke forgets about it. A mysterious band of bounty hunters has attempted to murder Emperor Bel Riose in his bed in his imperial seat of Tauron. One of them is killed by Stormtrooper guards however the rest manage to escape. The one dead assassin, Bossk is investigated by the Obi Wan Kenobi and he declares that the Empire is behind it, most likely Darth Vader. Thus Han Solo is dispatched with some 80 commandoes to track down the assassins however both Kenobi and Emperor Riose gives stern lectures not to try to kill Darth Vader or even capture him.

At the same time Kenobi sends Luke Skywalker to Dagobah to learn even more from him. Obi Wan Kenobi declines to follow Luke however. Han Solo at any rate tracks down the band of bounty hunters this time to kill Admiral Ackbar. In a short battle all the bounty hunters except Boba Fett are killed, so are however half of the commandoes. However Han Solo in his pride decides to chase Boba Fett who is directly meeting Darth Vader on Mustafar. Solo and the commandoes sneak into the meeting place and attack both Fett and Vader. Almost immediately all the commandoes are slaughtered by Darth Vader and Boba Fett and Han Solo is forced to hide in a supply shaft. Sensing danger Luke Skywalker ends his training to join Obi Wan Kenobi and Leia along with a crack team of stormtroopers loyal to Riose to rescue Solo. They arrive just in time and in a fierce duel Vader defeats both Kenobi who is grievously wounded and Luke who is blinded in his left eye. Boba Fett however is also mortally wounded but manages to escape when a large Imperial rescue force arrives.

Back on Naboo Kenobi states he does not have long to live and wishes for the Rebellion to be successful before his death. Thus an attack on Kashyyk is ordered and both Riose’s empire and the Rebels prepare large forces for it. The attack is a quick surprise thanks to Riose’s strategic brilliance and most of the Imperial fleet at Kashyyk is destroyed. The commander on Kashyyk orders a rescue force which arrives and the battle is on. Chewbacca fights on land along with Luke, Han, and Obi Wan Kenobi and help capture several strategic points. Finally Kashyyk falls to the rebels and with almost a fifth of the Imperial fleet lost or defected there it seems Palpatine and his empire are on it’s last legs.

However Palpatine has dispatched Darth Vader to kill Yoda and then Luke and Obi Wan Kenobi also by luring them there. Thus Vader arrives on Dagobah and fights a fierce duel with Yoda. Luke and Obi Wan Kenobi immediately hurries there and in the ensuing battle Yoda is killed. As Luke (with Obi Wan Kenobi knocked out) and Darth Vader duel one on one he says “I’m your father.” Emotionally traumatized by the revelations Luke learns the rest of the story from Kenobi after the duel including that Leia is his sister which is revealed by Bail Organa. In the final scene Darth Vader meets with Emperor Palpatine who declares his intention to go to Korriban where he hopes some ancient secrets can reveal to him the weapon to end the Rebellion….

15

I thought Obi-Wan was trying to stay low-key…a homing beacon advertising his exact whereabouts on Tatooine would bring a lot worse than Mormons to his doorstep :smiley:

16

Well probably not homing beacon but probably the latter. Yes I know what you are talking about: Stormtrooper Scientologists. :eek:

17

“Tantive IV”

God, I’m such a geek…

18

Star Wars Episode VI: The Balance of the Force: The movie starts almost immediately after the end of the previous one with Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader arriving on Korriban along with an enormous Imperial force. There with the help of archaeologists an important holocron is found and decoded. Palpatine eagerly begins analyzing it contents which reveal some extremely important details about utilizing the Force. The most notable of the powers discussed in the holocron is that the Force can be used if thousands of force-sensitives are “sacrificed” and two powerful Sith surrender themselves completely to the Dark Side in the main temple of Korriban then whole planets can be destroyed, stars can go supernova, and the Galaxy itself can be completely destroyed. Of course Palpatine doesn’t wish to destroy the entire galaxy but he does wish to completely destroy the Rebels. Thus he begins renovating the Grand Temple of the Sith and collects especially force-sensitive beings.

Meanwhile on Tauron the joint seat of the Riose Empire and the New Republic, Rebel Intelligence informs the leaders that both the Emperor and Darth Vader along with much of the Imperial military is enmassing in an obscure and remote planet known as Korriban. Obi Wan Kenobi states that there is something truly evil in this and demands that an all out offensive be launched. Many others agree as they logically state that a victory at Korriban can decimate the Imperial military and kill or capture both Darth Vader and Palpatine. Thus an attack is prepared, however there are not enough troops for a massive offensive so both Emperor Bel Riose and interim Chancellor Bail Organa begins looking for some spare Droid armies. Finally a massive former Trade Federation droid army is acquired at Genosis where it had been shut down since the end of the Clone Wars. It is quickly reactivated and some half a billion droids are readied for total war. Also recruited are almost all remaining Jedi knights that can be found; some 50 in all led by Obi Wan Kenobi. Indeed, despite opposition from some that he is too old Kenobi states that he will participate in this final battle against the Galactic Empire knowing most likely he will die in this battle.

As the armies begin the march to Korriban several planets rebel most notably the Second Planet of the Galaxy, Denon which is occupied by a small rebel force. Bel Riose also arranges Denon to be his new capital as he leads the armies to Korriban. Finally the two fleets meet on the orbit right above Korriban and a massive space battle begins. Thousands of ships are involved in this titanic duel and tremendous destructions of ships take place causing enormous pieces of debris to fall on the planet. Once more Bel Riose’s master strategy defeats the Imperial Fleet and landings begin on the Korriban.

The massive droid armies almost sweep over any opposition by sheer numbers and the Rebels obviously have an upper hand. However Palpatine does not care as he is about to activate the Galaxy Destructor (his name for this project). With two thousand beings powering it Palpatine and Vader are about to surrender themselves completely to the Dark Side when Luke, Obi Wan Kenobi, Han Solo, Leia (trained somewhat in the ways of the Jedi), and all of the remaining fifty knights storm in. In a massive duel dozens of Jedi are killed including Obi Wan Kenobi and only Luke, Han, Leia, and about half a dozen knights left are left. The remaining knights are resigned to their fate when someone unexpected rushes in-Mace Windu.

Long thought to be dead he has survived and hearing of the attack on Korriban has journeyed to aid them. Obi Wan Kenobi last visions are that of Mace Windu entering. Mace Windu’s skill devastates Palpatine and Vader. However Palpatine still force shocks all of them, leaving them crippled. As Palpatine and Vader prepare to launch the Galaxy Destructor Luke begs to Vader to redeem himself. At that moment Darth Vader turns on Palpatine, kills him single-handedly but at the same time is struck by force lighting leaving Vader dying. Vader removes his helmet and talks briefly to Luke before expiring. Meanwhile the Rebels have all but defeated the Imperial forces on Korriban and the Palpatine Empire is proclaimed doomed.

A few weeks later Bel Riose, Luke, Leia, Han, Mace Windu, Chewbacca, and others enter Coruscant in triumph and the Galaxy is divided in two for now between the Riose Empire and the Second Galactic Republic. Riose states to Organa and Mothma that he would surrender the empire and abdicate from the throne if Riose is given the position of Chancellor. This Organa and Mothma refuse for fear he will be an another tyrant which is untrue. Meanwhile Mace Windu and Luke Skywalker announce the founding of the New Jedi Order. All is not well however, for Boba Fett has escaped to the stars and is plotting to carve out a new empire in the stars…

19

Star Wars Episode I: The Road To War: The movie begins as two Jedi knights, Qui Gon Jinn and his Padawan Obi Wan Kenobi lands on Tatoonie on a routine stop looking for Force-sensitive children. The two Jedi knights thorough local interviews and rumours track down Anakin Skywalker (aged about fifteen or sixteen) whom they discover to have a high midichlorian level. Kenobi and Qui Gon Jinn thus frees Skywalker from his owner and prepares to return to Coruscant when they are attacked by a mysterious Sith as Mos Espa. In the ensuing battle Qui Gon Jinn is killed and Anakin saves the day by wielding Qui Gon’s lightsaber and helping slew the Sith. Excited by the possibility that he is a Sith Obi Wan and Anakin report to the Jedi Council and also to the Galactic Senate however they’re distracted by the secessionist crisis.

At Geonosis the Confederacy of Independent Systems declares its independence under Count Dooku who is being manipulated by Darth Sidious. The Confederacy of Independent Systems’ first action is to land troops in Naboo in support of immigrants there who are secessionist. In a short but bloody battle Naboo falls and Queen Amidala is captured but manages to escape to Coruscant. Senator Palpatine of Naboo on Coruscant actively decries this assault and calls for military action. In this he is heavily opposed by Chancellor Finis Valorum who fears it will provoke a war. Thus Senator Palpatine leads the drive to impeach Valorum and call for emergency elections. In a near coup caused by popular protests and massive strikes Valorum steps down and the Senate overwhelmingly votes to make Palpatine Chancellor who is also given emergency powers. Palpatine meets with the Jedi Council and says that he has heard rumours of a massive army being prepared in Kamino and asks Obi Wan Kenobi to report on it.

Thus Kenobi journeys to Kamino and discovers that a clone army is being created there from a template based on a bounty hunter named Jango Fett. Fett also says he’s been asked to be the clone template by a man named “Tyranus” whom Kenobi does not recognize. Also Kenobi is convinced that Fett is the assassin who’s been trying to kill both Palpatine and Amidala and tries to arrest him but Fett and his son Boba escapes. Back at Coruscant Amidala and Anakin discover they have feelings for each other and as Skywalker is a Jedi Padawan he is forced to keep this a secret.

Finally the events come to a head when Queen Amidala, Obi Wan Kenobi, and Anakin Skywalker journey back to Naboo in disguise but are promptly captured by the Separatists and brought before Count Dooku and the Confederate Council. There they are about to be executed when several hundred Jedi knights are dispatched to rescue them. In a fierce battle the Separatist armies mainly consisting of droids attack and slaughter most of the Jedi. Mace Windu in battle kills Jango Fett but defeat seems imminent when Yoda arrives with the new clone army on Naboo. In a titanic battle the clones slowly push back the Confederates as Kenobi and Skywalker duel with Dooku and Skywalker loses his arm. Naboo has been recaptured by the Republic but the First Galactic Civil War (aka Clone Wars) has begun. In the final scene a few months later Anakin marries Padme.

20

And then a time-tossed Leonard Nimoy shows up and things really go to Hell.