“Poor little rich boy” my ass. Fuck you, you swollen-headed asshole. You invite your poor friends, Freckles and Pee-Wee, over to swim in your fucking dollar sign shaped pool filled with gold coins? How fucking rude can you get?
And what’s this? Now you’re pissed off at Gloria because she made you sneeze while you were tidying up your safe, resulting in money scattered everywhere? Oh no, horror of horrors! I HATE it when my TRILLION DOLLARS are all in disarray!
Christ, kid, how much is enough? You’ve got a dog with dollar signs all over him (“He’s a DOUGH-berman!” HA HA FUCKING HA, YOU PRICK.), you’ve got a fucking robot maid, and you have more playhouses than you know what to do with. And you’re the “poor little rich boy?” Fuck you.
Oh sure, every now and then you pretend to be concerned for other people (mostly just your friends), but it doesn’t last long, because you conveniently discover that they LIKE being poor. So don’t worry about it. Freckles and Pee-Wee’s family might think a can of vienna sausages is a goddamn feast, but don’t help them out because THEY’RE TOO PROUD TO ACCEPT CHARITY. Yeah, I’m sure Mr. Wee or whatever Pee-Wee’s dad’s name is would just smack that thousand-dollar bill out of your hand if you offered it to him. I’m certain Freckles makes sure he didn’t get any gold coins lodged in his ass crack while swimming in the money pool, because not returning them WOULDN’T BE RIGHT.
So fuck you, you little shit. At least Reggie and Maida Munny are honest about the fact that they’re greedy little bastards. And, you moron, Maida is far hotter than Gloria.
I nearly choked . . . Does Pee have a sister named Wee?
I always wondered about that weird S&M relationship Beetle Bailey and Sarge seem to have. Beetle eggs Sarge on; he’s never filed charges against him—so obviously he likes being pounded into a pulp by his big bearish daddy.
I wonder if Little Dot ever got treatment for her OCD–or Little Lotta for her eating disorder.
I think it would be amusing if somebody did an updated version of Harvey comics characters, following them into their teens. That was a screwed-up little bunch of pilgrims.