My daughter (15) just got a detention slip for talking in Spanish class.I have no doubt that she deserved it.
The principal,believe it or not, told my wife that she thinks it must be just that time of the month.
Jeech.
As a male I don’t have monthly belly aches.
But sometimes I have been known to have one for different reasons. I generally try to find a corner and do my suffering in silence.
Why should I believe that monthly discomfort should be a reason for any misconduct.
you should believe it because you will never know it…
I thank god everyday that I am male… I love having a penis… and I also love not having to have my period once a month… and I will never know the pain of pushing something that is 8 lbs. out of me… and I don’t have to sit down to pee…
although when drinking… sometimes that is a good idea anyway…
seriously though… try getting bloated, bleed for a week… and then still be in a good mood!!!
I’m female, and I agree with justwannano. I know what cramps are like, and I know what a bad period is like. But it bugs me to no end when I hear women using it as an excuse for everything under the sun. If your period is so bad that you can’t function, treat it like any other illness and stay home from work/school/whatever. Otherwise, buck up and quit using it as an excuse to be bitchy or rude.
I’m female, and it annoys ME that PMS can ever be used as an excuse for not carrying on as near to normal as possible.
Sometimes I cramp, occassionally I bite my lip so I don’t say mean things, and at some point, I will go into my bathroom and cry (especially when ALL of my clothes look absolutely AWFUL on me and I’m a BLOATED, FAT, disgusting PIG…ahem.)
But it’s my own personal PMS, nobody else’s. Why on earth would I want to make those days even MORE miserable by not at least making an attempt to be nice to those around me? It’s actually beneficial. Half the time my boyfriend has no clue that I have PMS (at least, not because of my mood). Because I try so hard NOT to make a scene and NOT to say unkind things, he absolutely coddles me if I do cry or get moody. Of course, if I were to bite his head off every month, I could forget that - and then I’d feel worse!
See? Everyone’s happier all around.
While I don’t think it could be used as an excuse for talking in class, of all things-(and the principal was WAY out of line for trying to insinuate it), do NOT say that PMS is a weak excuse for things.
Especially if you’re male.
While the constant use of PMS as an excuse is irritating, I’m male and willing to admit that I’m sure its valid occassionally, but ladies, your period doesn’t last for 3 months straight!
Anyway, what really annoys me is when women have a “There’s no possible human way you could know what this is like. There is no pain in the world worse” attitude. Having experienced cramps so painful (food poisoning, I think) that I literally collapsed when they hit (thankfully at home) and couldn’t move, I’ve come to two conclusions. Either every woman with that attitude has the pain tolerance of an ox and could amputate their own arm with a straight face, or they’re just trying to make themselves the victim.
Well, Speaker, mine has. Actually it’s lasted longer and is doubtless one of the reasons I tend to be anemic.
Thankfully I do not have PMS.
PMS is a valid reason for feeling grumpy, unhappy, and generally out-of-sorts. However, it is absolutely not a valid excuse for taking it out on others.
Regardless of anything going on with one’s cycle, one is still responsible for one’s own conduct. If you do not feel you can be responsible for your conduct, you would do well to remove yourself from society for the duration.
Do keep in mind that everyone has bad days. I have a medical condition that includes “agitation” as one of the lesser symptoms, which manifests as an inclination to be short tempered or sharp-tongued. While I may explain to those around me this tendency, I still expect others to hold me accountable for my behavior. Unless my condition (and PMS) prevent a person from being in control of their faculties, there is simply no excuse.
PMS is exactly that…PRE MENSTRUAL.
Bloating, migraine, depressions, insomnia, mood swings, nausea, vomiting, GI disorders, food cravings, anxiety, weepiness, anger, poor outburst control, all that stuff.
Cramps are a whole other thingy.
(Speaker for the Dead, count me as someone who has a very high pain thresh-hold, but who cannot deal with my cramps without serious meds, both hormonal and pain-killing.)
Anyway, no it’s not really an excuse, and all bad behaviour should warrant an apology, but maybe with an addendum:
“I’m very sorry I acted in that manner, and on any other week of the month I would not have done so, please accept my apologies.”
In the same way we allow anyone who is having a bad day to factor that in when accounting for their behaviour.
justwannano, perhaps your daughter was asking her friend for a tampon, or a painkiller? Maybe that is what the Principal meant?
I agree (with the last two posts).
It’s not really about the cramps, it’s about the hormonal swings,that can cause one to become highly emotional and sensative (and therefore, bitchy).
But hey, guys get hormonal swings too. And if a sudden busrt of testosterone leave a guy particuarly horny and/or aggressive, he is still not allowed to randomly fondle women or punch people in the nose.
And guys, next time awoman goes on about the worst pain in the world, launch into a vivid discription of being kicked in the balls. I can’t imagine what that’s like. What are you thinking, leaving them out and vunerable like that ?
I get pretty bitchy when I have PMS. And yes, this sometimes causes me to say things that I otherwise would not say. However, I don’t really see this as an excuse. I apologize, explain, and then apologize more. For example:
“Hey, I’m really, really, really sorry I snapped at you earlier. PMS, you know. Anyway, it shouldn’t have happened and I’ll try to make sure that it doesn’t happen again.”
Well, wearing a cup all day is kinda annoying. Also, most men tend to want to be fertile, which means a lower testicular temperature, which means the testes are away from the body. Hey, nature uses what works, not what is the best solution.
I get very weepy and cranky and will throw a temper tantrum over something as stupid as dropping a pencil. It’s hell.
[hijack]
Guinastasia, I read in a GD thread that you have ADD. If you don’t mind, could you tell me if it increases your sensitivity to PMS? I ask on behalf of a friend of mine.
[/hijack]
I don’t get bitchy. I get weepy. Kodak commercials make me cry; I find myself really bonding with the grandma whose grandson enlarged the old baseball pic and said, “Grandma, can you still do that?”
[sub]sob And you don’t even find out if she can or not! gulps Like, what if she’s got really bad arthritis? Where’s the Advil commercial that gives this a happy ending? God, the pathos! gasping sob[/sub]
May I just point out that women get PMS…
…but men suffer from it.
Sorry dear.
Ouch
Sorry love.
::d&r::
Just FYI, for the emotional disturbances associated with PMS, there are medications available that are very helpful – e.g. Prozac (also sold under the name Sarafem). You are not doomed to be weepy, bitchy, etc. every month! For those who don’t suffer from it, try to have some compassion for those who do. Yes, it shouldn’t be used as an “excuse,” but a person cannot always just grin and bear it as though nothing is happening.
This is the dumbest frickin’ thread I have ever seen in my whole entire life. I wish I were kidding. It’s been months since I’ve registered for the SDMB, and nothing has been more utterly crappy than this crappy crap. You’re all a bunch of idiots for not understanding what women go through before they bleed vaginally for a few days straight. Screw you! Sigh Okay, upon preview, I realized I was being a jerk. Sorry y’all, but I am PMSing big time right about now.
…What?
Sengkelat–I’m curious about this. Care to share a little more about this condition, what it is, etc.? (I think my ex must have had it, too. Seriously.)
Thanks.
It’s probably not what you’re thinking. I’m asthmatic. When I was first told that agitation was part of an asthma attack, I thought “Well, duh, they’re agitated because they’re worried about dropping dead” but I’ve since learned (through personal experience and otherwise) that it’s not so obvious as all that.
Anyway, this is pretty off-topic.
Guinastasia, what you go through sounds terrible. I’m a little embarassed to have compared my (medical) tendency towards peevishness with your PMS. Though PMS isn’t generally life-threatening, I can’t say I’d want to trade afflictions with you.