There was a case rather like this a few years ago in the UK, involving Ulrika Jonsson (TV weathergirl turned all-purpose celeb and recent winner of Celebrity Big Brother) and her then-boyfriend Stan Collymore. He hit her in a bar in Paris (because he wanted to leave and she wanted to stay, IIRC) and she dumped him immediately. She’s not someone I’d normally admire, but I really admired her for that.
No but it is a reason that many male victims of female violence will not report it to anyone.
My wife is a foot shorter and a hundred pounds lighter than me. I could probably subdue her just by falling on her. If she went nuts and attacked me she could still seriously hurt me. If I defend myself, even just trying to pin her arms, I could also injure her. If the police show up at that point, I am more likely to get arrested than her. If I just take it while trying to remove myself, I have the option of reporting her and enduring ridicule from the police and, if it becomes public knowledge, my peers and the internet at large.
If a 5’0", 120 lbs guy walks up to a 6’ 220 lbs guy and attacks him and gets knocked down, it would be considered self defense and no one would blame the big guy. If it was a 5’ woman, it may be legally the same, but socially it is not and many legal agencies would not treat it the same.
The first I heard of this was a radio report that mentioned inner arm, but I cannot find any online citation, so it could very well be wrong. The only sources say arm and fingers. The most logical explanation for that is that her hand was in his face, which could be her trying to fend him off, or her attacking him. That and the fact that he had a black eye made me wonder who started it. If he hit her first, I doubt she would be able to effectively fight back.
Jonathan
The cops who were there say she complained to them that the beatings were getting worse. So obviously he was beating her regularly. Disgusting.
I read somewhere that the average abused person gets beaten seven times before they leave their abusive partner. That is just sick beyond on belief.
Quincy Massachusetts set up the first program where an abuser is immediately charged by the state and put in jail. The abused gets a restraining order and the abuser is only released is they agree they cannot have any contact whatsoever with the abused. If they do, it’s back to jail.
According to TMZ, more details of the attack:
Assuming that is accurate and the fight took place mostly in the car, it is plausible that she was trying to defend herself when he bit her. I was having a hard time seeing how he bit her fingers if they were outside the car. Inside it makes more sense.
Jonathan
Well, okay, but if she wasn’t the victim, then that’s another reason why we shouldn’t brand her as a bad person for staying with him.
Either way, I don’t think we get to condemn her as being a bad role model.
And she went back. I repeat, my heart bleeds for her.
It’s such a common tragedy, but we are shocked when it happens to a woman who has achieved so much. Too bad we are not always shocked by it.
She should have the freedom to live a joyful loving life. Instead, she’s caged by whatever childhood abuse set her up for this. Chances are good this is what her entire life has been like. Her Father probably did the same to her Mother. He probably helped convince her to return.
The more I hear about it the more I ache for her.
Chris Brown charged with 2 felonies.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090305/ap_on_en_mu/people_chris_brown
Here’s the whole statement by the LAPD. It’s pretty brutal. If she is indeed taking him back she needs help. Fast.
I’d say he needs help too. Help locking the door to his jail cell.
I think he needs a little punishment coupled with a lot of reform. To be exploding on someone like this at age 19 is just . . . I just find it very unlikely that his brief adult life has been so jading to him that he created this behavior on his own. It’s probably a pretty safe bet that he witnessed and/or was the victim of some pretty brutal abuse growing up. All the punishment in the world isn’t going to prevent him from doing this again if he doesn’t work on his issues, so thirsting for that is really just asking for blood, and counter-productively, IMO.
Yeah.