Maeglin,
I don’t know how old your child is, but my son who has autism is almost a grown man. I have developed a thick skin over the years. What is important to me is my son’s happiness and well being. I do my best not to have him be a nuisance to others with the noises he makes, but it is what it is and to be honest, I really do not care if others do not like his noises when he is outside. We are not out at unreasonable hours and I am always with him even though he is older. Even still, people like many who have posted in this thread would still find something to bitch and complain about.
I am so glad that I don’t have asshole neighbors. I’m super chuffed that some of you aren’t my neighbors because I don’t like uptight people whose panties are constantly in a wad over everything.
It’s unfortunate that many of you do not have a special needs child, because if you did then you would know what’s really important in life. (hint: a ball free yard is not it) I feel sorry for you.
I’m definitely one of those kinds of people. I really don’t care what people say about me and I had to have that pointed out to me for me to realize that.
That said, I can certainly see how a reasonable person would be annoyed about issues that inconvenience them.
I think though, for me, if I ran up against that situation again I’d pretty much do what I did then and own the responsibility of my own state of mind and not pass that on to the people around me. That’s how I coped with it when it happened then I don’t think I’d be any different now.
Realizing that and knowing how much of a pain in the rear that could be in a situation like this I must say I’m really, really grateful that I am the way I am because it would suck to let someone else have that power over my state of mind and feel powerless to change the situation and feel the need to write such a hateful letter.
Also, lots of folks I’d imagine would skip right past the letter stage and take matters into their own hand which would be much, much worse.
Yep, I’m glad I’m not a reasonable person when looked at that way. Makes life much easier and more stress free.
Because of their capacity to make trouble. I don’t care so much what they are thinking, but I live in a co-op in New York City. We all live on top of each other, so it is very easy to make trouble for your neighbors if you are so inclined. In my case I am fortunate that my neighbors are largely good people. But the young family two doors down is having a terrible time with their downstairs neighbor. She is an elderly woman and simply does not like hearing their child in her apartment, so she harasses them all the time. They are renters and are too afraid to rock the boat to do anything about it lest the building kicks them out.
My son is only 3, so my wife and I have a long way to go. We’ve known that he was on the spectrum since he was about 18 months. We are both dyed-in-the-wool New Yorkers; the thick skin is not a problem. But when you live in close proximity to so many other people, you tend to see a lot more jackholes. So it’s a constant drumbeat of bullshit.
[QUOTE=brazil84]
Why is that? If you have such thick skin, what difference would it make to you if your neighbors were uptight?
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. I’m glad I don’t have uptight neighbors because I enjoy the positive atmosphere where I live. Fortunately my son’s severe delays leave him quite innocent to the reality of people like you. He does not understand enough to know that some people dislike others simply for being different. I’m glad for him that our neighbors embrace him. People who meet him tell me there is something about him that makes them happy, something that makes them think a little differently about life. They are more than happy to throw the ball back over the fence.
Once my son trimmed some trees that border my house and the neighbor’s house. She came to tell me about it so I could make sure he understood not to do it. At no point was she angry, nor did she accuse me of not having control of my son, or of not watching him. Neither did she tell me that I go around expecting everyone to accommodate my son and his special needs. None of that bullshit nonsense, just “Hey, heads up, he trimmed my tree”. I took care of it. He did not do it again. No different than any other neighborhood issue being solved. The tree grew back, everyone lived, the world didn’t end.
My son is not everyone’s cup o’ tea though, and that’s cool. Generally I find that when people have not had much experience being around people with differences, his noises make them uncomfortable. His mannerism and echolalic speech make them nervous. That’s just ignorance about disabilities and/or a lack of exposure to people who are different. Some people just don’t think the severely disabled are worth getting to know. That’s ok, their choice. But they are missing out IMO.
Brazil84, your outlook on differences is interesting to me. You sound to me like you think your shit doesn’t stink. Hey, thanks for keeping your balls out of my yard, but I find you annoying as fuck anyway.
How about you bugger off and use your imagination. Imagine what you would do under similar circumstances, and then suppose that they are more creative than you are. Voila, you will have your answer.
Greater population means proportionately more assholes I guess. The bullshit does get old. Years and years of it has just rendered it white noise for me.
But why would a negative atmosphere bother you? You do have thick skin, right?
Please quote me where I stated or implied that I disliked anyone "simply for being different. " Failing that, please admit that I neither stated nor implied any such thing and apologize.
When I was a kid, a favorite activity involved taking any and all balls we found on the street over to a friend’s house. Friend had a jerk neighbor. We would rub the balls in dog shit, spit on them, whatever, then toss them into the neighbor’s yard.
Neighbor habitually knifed the balls and tossed them back over the fence (which is what led us to toss more). But he did this after work, (and he handled the shitty balls to puncture and toss them). So my friend’s dad would be working in the yard and a deflated ball would land at his feet. My friend denied all knowledge of the balls, and his dad knew he hadn’t purchased the ball, so there would be words.
Are you really that thick or do you just play at it on a message board?
To everyone who has special needs children, I feel your pain. People like those in the OP that are being pitted (and some in this thread) are the ones that make life miserable for everyone else. What bunch of fucking assholes.
I cannot imagine what could possibly bother girlundone given her self-proclaimed thick skin and her apparent willingness to simply move away from any situation which is a problem for her.
I guess my imagination is not good enough to think of how she can weasel out of the nonsense she has been spewing.
Lol, why not just answer the question? I am really curious to know what kind of “trouble” would bother girlundone given her self-proclaimed “thick skin” and her apparent willingness to move away from anyone who makes trouble for her.
[QUOTE=brazil84]
But why would a negative atmosphere bother you? You do have thick skin, right?
[/QUOTE]
I said I enjoy a positive atmosphere, no where did I say a negative atmosphere would “bother me”.
[QUOTE=brazil84]
Failing that, please admit that I neither stated nor implied any such thing and apologize. Your choice.
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Omg, I’m dying. That is fucking hilarious.
Putting up netting would be proactive. Unfortunately, a lot of the mischief that disabled kids get into can’t be foreseen. Who’d anticipate that their 13 year old boy would find his dad’s car keys on the counter, slip out and back the car into the neighbor’s garage door? Of course now they hide their keys. Or that, he’d get into a neighbor’s house while they were on vacation and start making 911 calls (he knew where his parents kept the keys because the neighbor’s thought it would be good for him to pet-sit with his mom or dad in tow). I guess my point is, once shit happens, parents should try to curb the behavior. But I cut them some slack because raising a mentally disabled child can bring new challenges everyday (some of them are very intelligent and act out in ways we can’t anticipate).
[QUOTE=brazil84]
I am really curious to know what kind of “trouble” would bother girlundone given her self-proclaimed “thick skin” and her apparent willingness to move away from anyone who makes trouble for her.
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I’m sorry that all this reading had proven too much for you. I know it’s confusing what with more than one poster and all. Just go back and read slowly.