Role Call for Musicians on the SDMB

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

I took classical piano lessons from the time I was 5 until I left for college. This gave me terrific music theory skills and a deep-seated hatred for classical music.

My last piano teacher was pretty cool, though, and she gave up trying to teach me classical stuff and let me play whatever the heck I wanted. Since this was the late 80s, I learned a LOT of cheesy 80s hard rock tunes. To this day, I can play any Van Halen song that has keyboard parts. Journey, Whitesnake, Billy Joel, Chicago and others are permanently burned into memory. I don’t know whether that’s good or bad.

In high school, I picked up the guitar with the help of all the music theory I learned in my piano lessons. I am now a hopeless studio rat. One of my computers has so much MIDI and digital audio gear wired into it that it looks like the Borg assimilated it. Thanks to the years of piano lessons (and with the help of a few Roland and Yamaha synthesizers), I can record my own music and play it for friends, family and for my own pleasure.

Music is my life. If there are parents out there who are considering music lessons for their kids, I have two things to say:

  1. Do it now. It’s never too early or too late.

  2. Start Junior out on piano. It is the master instrument. Once you learn piano, you can learn any other instrument.

42

I play the trombone in my High School band.

And now for some really sad musician jokes…MUSICIAN JOKES

A young child says to his mother, “Mom, when I
grow up I think I’d
like to be a musician.” She replies, “Well honey,
you know you can’t do
both.”

Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a
trombonist’s arm?
A: A tattoo.

Q: What do you call a drummer in a three-piece
suit?
A: “The Defendant”

Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?
A: Saliva.

Q: Why do some people have an instant aversion to
banjo players?
A: It saves time in the long run.

Q: What’s the difference between a guitar player
and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Q: What is another term for trombone?
A: A wind driven, manually operated, pitch
approximator.

Q: What is the dynamic range of a bass trombone?
A: On or off.

Q: What’s the difference between a SCUD missile
and a bad oboist?
A: A bad oboist can kill you.

Q: What’s the difference between a girl singer and
a pit bull?
A: Lipstick.

Q: What’s another name for viola auditions?
A: Scratch lottery.

Q: Why do people play trombone?
A: Because they can’t move their fingers and read
music at the same
time.

Q: How does a violist’s brain cell die?
A: Alone.

Q: What do you call a guitar player that only
knows two chords?
A: A music critic.

Q: How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
A: Put it in a viola case.

Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

Q: What’s the difference between an oboe and a
bassoon?
A: You can hit a baseball further with a bassoon.

Q: Why are second violinist’s fingers like
lightning?
A: They rarely strike the same spot twice.

Tuba Player: “Did you hear my last recital?”
Friend: “I hope so.”

Glissando: A technique adopted by string players
for difficult runs.

Vibrato: Used by singers to hide the fact that
they are on the wrong
pitch.
Q: What do you call a musician without a
girlfriend?
A: Homeless >>

43

Well, I sing. I’m pretty decent, I’m in the show choir at my school. I also play piano (keyboard) and at one point or another have messed around with the harmonica and the guitar.

44

I’m the drummer in a punk group. We’re called NMX. We might change our name to Remy Thai though.

45

I’m mainly a drummer, and have served in that capacity in four bands over the last ten years. In the bands I’ve been in, all members are expected to contribute songs and vocals as well, so I’m also a singer/songwriter, mainly in the altrock area. I’m also an enthusiastic amateur on guitar, bass and keyboards, since it’s kind of tough to compose melody on the drumkit.

After my last band broke up, I decided I didn’t want to deal with flaky musicians anymore, so I dropped out of the band scene and recorded a solo CD. I had so much fun doing that that I’m thinking seriously about remaining a solo artist permanently.

46

I’m a marching band nut. I marched for 7 years. I was woodwind chorus director for an Indiana State Finalist Marching Band, and I did my Practicum with McGavoc High School Marching Band in Tennessee. All that to say I love Marching Band…but I guess that you figured that out.

47

lets see…

Clarinet- 8 years playing in an Irish marching band, 5 years with the ex-members band.

Guitar, 5 years playing Electric and Accoustic.
Bass guitar, 4 years playing. 7 months in a band called “I am Spartacus”. demo to be made soon.

Peruvian flute, Didgeridoo and plinky currently being learned.

48

Another piano player here. I play by ear and compose a bit, and I like real hammers and strings and soft batting on the dampers.

49

Christ, no.

Whatever gave you THAT ridiculous idea?

50

Go Knights! (Hubby studied engineering at UCF)

I had accordion lessons at age 7 - still play like a 7-y/o…

Took up guitar in junior high school - self-taught and fairly competent. I took a group lesson to learn some nifty picking and strumming techniques.

Bought a piano in college - self-taught, but I play for my own pleasure - not very well…

I tried to play a trumpet once. The sound I made was painful and frightening. The only wind instrument I’ve played a real tune on is the recorder.

And I sing - started as Soprano, have sung Alto and Tenor.

51

I’m a “musician” to the extent that I can play rhythm guitar and bass without making a complete ass of myself. I’m self-taught, and can’t sight-read at all. I can read and memorize, though. I at least know many chords beyond your basic majors, minors and sevenths, but my playing is pretty much restricted to the pop/rock idioms. My lead guitar skills range from abhorrent to nonexistent. I’ve totally plateaued as far as what I can teach myself, though, and I’m undisciplined and don’t practice enough.

I’m not currently in a band, but have been in a few.

52

Guitar
Bass Guitar
Banjo
Violin
Piano
Organ
Synth
Pretty much any percussion

Ciao.

53

Let’s see, I play the classical guitar primarily. I also play the following instruments to a decent degree: Lute (very well), Recorder (from Great Bass to sopranino in C, there are basically two sets of fingerings C & F seven instruments if you include the new addition of the Sopranino in C), piano (took a couple years of piano lessons in college and can play at a moderate level), voice (baritone), didjeridu (just picked it up and can play along with most anything I have heard on it), mandolin (another that I play very well), violin (a moderate amount. I don’t like it as it is too small), viola (I play this alright at an intermediate level), Cello (another I play decently), the upright bass (I play very well as I played some orchestral soloes in college that were intermediate to advanced in difficulty), bass guitar (played originally in a grindcore band and some other technical metal bands before switching to the guitar), tuba (play alright meaning I can play some middle school music on it), french horn (I know how to play it but suck at it), euphonium (played as well as a tuba), trombone (still as well as the tuba), trumpet (I used to be able to sight read on it but am out of practice… I play it about as well as the violin), harpsichord (see the piano, I also know the difference between harpsichord technique and piano technique and can actually play the difference), bagpipe chanter (never had a real set of bagpipes but I play a mean chanter which is hte actual instrument portion of the bagpipes), various keyboard percussion (not quite as well as the piano), snare drum (the hardest instrument around… to a fair degree. I played the drums as a back-up in one of the grindcore band which also includes the next), drum set (I played a 7 piece drumset regularly through rehearsals when we decided to learn the other parts to play our music tighter), congas (which I finally bought a set), bongos (similar to congas with slightly different technique), the other sets of percussion instruments not listed like the bass drum, triangle, claves, temple blocks, etc, sitar (my friend Alex taught me), Tambourah (Alex taught me that too so I could accompany him while he played), organ (learned enough of it to write some organ music which won 2nd place in a musical competition), flute, clarinet, oboe, saxophone (not really any of the bass woodwinds though), and a whole slew of other instruments here and there that I am sure I left out somewhere.

I am qualified to teach all the orchestral types of instruments: percussion, strings, woodwinds, and brass. I have the most facility with the string instruments being primarily a string player but the others I can play to at least a beginner to intermediate level which would equate to somewhere between middle to high school. Some of the others I play at a college level and the guitar and lute are played at a post college level. As a composer you have to learn at least the basics of the instrument to understand what is capable of being played on the instrument. Most of them I wouldn’t be comfortable playing in a professional setting (comfortable with drums, recorder, bass, guitar, etc) but that is where the difference in performance lies.

HUGS!
Sqrl

PS. I am sure the other people who majored in music performance (like I) and especially composition (also, like I) would have a similarly long list of instruments that they can play and are also certified to teach (again, like I).

54

I play the banjo (not really well, as I still have all my teeth) and the vocal chordian (mostly baritone; tenor and bass if I must).

55

Sqrl:

Sopranino recorder in C? You damn crazy kids today. When I was young, all the sopraninos were in F.

So when did THIS come about? I’ve been out of the recorder loop for a while.

I like carrying a sopranino around, though. It’s small enough to keep it in your pocket, and it’s nice to be able to whip out your pipe occasionally.

I notice everyone else is listing their genres, which I didn’t do (yet)…

On tenor sax, I attempt to play jazz.

On flute, I make wild stabs at classical and folk and Celtic music.

On piano, I flail hopelessly at blues, classical, folk, and 19th-20th century pop, the last of which I try to do “jazzily” enough, with grace notes and thumping bass and misguided hamhanded attempts at improvisation, to fool the uneducated into thinking I can play jazz on the piano.

On tuba, I take a crack at pretty much whatever tuba players are called upon to do, which typically isn’t a lot.

56

Ukulele Ike: “I played on the euphonium when I was only five!”

Eve: “Izzat so? I played on the linoleum when I was only three!”

[they dance offstage to the tune of “Alabammy Bound”]

57

Hey there Uke. I have a Sopranino in C lying around somewhere. It is about 6 inches long and can only play to an A in tune which is one note higher than the traditional sopranino recorder in F. :slight_smile: It is very shrill and even the low notes ring more piercingly (like my new word?). The F’s for me are particularly painful on that instrument.

As for genres, on the guitar I play a variety of music from classical, folk, jazz, rock, bluegrass, and some odd things thrown in here and there. I tend to stick more to classical and a folkish style though which is consistent with most of the other instruments I play.

HUGs!
Sqrl

58

I play the tenor saxophone now.

I can play the piano. I quit (upright) bass after 12 years.

I’m currently in a “project” (I don’t think it’s a band yet) that incorporates death metal and jazz.

59

Eve: That does it. I’m taking away all your Burns and Allen videos until you learn how to behave yourself.

60

I play guitar kinda badly (although I’ve taught myself the entire Urinals song-book, and that’s good enough for me :)), and I’m thinking of taking up the banjo. I can keep time on drums and play keyboards OK too. I’ve sung in a few bands, but never really gotten anywhere with any of those.

In honour of the instrument I really want to play, but only if I can play as well as Jim White (Dirty 3):

Q: How do you know there’s a drummer at your front door?
A: The knock speeds up.

Q: What’s the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A: You only have to punch a rhythm once into a drum machine.

HenrySpencer