Everyone’s got hormones. I’ve heard that men’s testosterone levels cycle within the course of a day rather than a month. 
Are you suuuuuuure you didn’t just enjoy having the place to yourself, and that’s why you didn’t look for someone on Craigslist? I mean, she mentioned Jim and you laughed it off and said you’d rather find someone on Craigslist. It didn’t go through your mind to do that? Is it because you thought she wasn’t serious or is it because you thought “Yeah right, then I’d have someone LIVING here with me and paying the rent. You pay and I get to live here by myself.”
I’m not saying you’re totally wrong to think this way, I think it’s human nature. Thinking back to when I had roommates, I’d have probably done the same. I just think that if you did think this way, I’d be a little less mad over one half of one month’s rent that you’re losing.
Here’s hoping you have better luck in your next living situation.
I’m sure she did enjoy having the place to herself. But if her roommate didn’t specifically ask her to look for someone on craigslist, the IMHO she doesn’t need to start the process, and in fact it would be out of line to do so. And really, it’s the roommate’s job to post the ad and screen applicants. Since roomie is out of town, obviously as a courtesy Hazel should keep the place clean and do showings and interviews, but it’s not her job to get off her ass and get the ball rolling.
My opinion is that in major cities with fairly active rental markets, roommates should be willing to let each other out of leases, provided one or two full months notice is given to find a sub. But in this case no notice is given – if you can’t be bothered to be proactive about getting yourself off the lease then you’re still on the lease, end of story.
Thank you. Of course I enjoyed having the place to myself - who wouldn’t? That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have let her out of her lease, even though it was understood it WAS a one year commitment. And why would it be my responsibility to take the initiative? I would have been perfectly willing to interview people if she’d just set it up. She never lifted a finger in regards to communicating with anyone about the logistics of this apartment, as I stated in the OP. I didn’t mind, because I considered her a friend. I sure as hell mind now.
And I’ve already said, it’s not only about the money. It’s about her unapologetic attitude and the fact that she’s screwing me over, because if the landlord wanted to he’d be well within his rights to evict me for not being to pay the entire rent for June.
I also feel resentful over the fact that she’s willing to mooch off her parents to pay off her boyfriend’s rent but not willing to ask them for money so she can honor an agreement she signed herself, but whatever. At this point I’m willing to be civil with her until this is all settled. I’d even be willing to forgive her if she apologized, but somehow I doubt this is going to happen.
Hazel, you could take her to small claims court if she doesn’t pay her share. Maybe we’ll see you on The People’s Court 
Actually, just threatening to take action might change her mind. You might also consider telling her parents that she has a financial obligation that could effect her future credit rating. She may not care, but I bet they would.
Don’t sell or otherwise dispose of her stuff. That can come back to bite you.
Out of line to do so? Come on, really? The roommate expressed a desire to sublet to Jim and Hazel said no. It would be out of line to follow up her statement that she would rather get someone from Craigslist by actually doing that? If the roommate was adverse to that action, she would have said “No” when Hazel suggested it.
Here’s the thing, if she REALLY wanted to be a jerk… she could have. Of course, rental laws vary from state to state, but in some places she wouldn’t have needed your permission to move Jim in. All she would have had to do was to have him sign her place on the lease and it would have been half his. A quick search on Google seems to indicate that she would have been able to do that in Chicago, I can’t say 100% for sure though.
Of course it is her responsibility to look for the person to sublet, but as the person who’d have to live with them… you’re the one who would suffer. Perhaps she took your “I’d rather live with someone from Craigslist” as in indicator that you would do just that?
I’m not trying to blame you for someone else’s actions, that’s never good. I just try to look at every bad situation I’m in and think “What could I have done to have made this go better for me.” It just sometimes helps me to think things through in the future.
Well, I suppose she could have screwed me over more than she’s done so now. (Although Jim would never have done that behind my back anyway.) The thought that a person I believed to be a good friend only reamed me with a cucumber rather than a cactus isn’t exactly comforting, though.
I get what you’re saying, Sleeps With Butterflies. But she brought the issue up exactly once and never mentioned it again. Perhaps I would have been a better person if I’d actively helped her find someone to take over her lease, but I had a lot of other stuff going on at the time. After that ONE conversation, the next time she brought it up was in her email to me yesterday.
Look at it from the other side also. What if HazelNutCoffee had decided to assume that the prior Craigslist conversation was a call to find a new roommate? Suppose she had done so and emailed the roommate that she had found somebody to sublet her room so she was free of her lease obligations. Wouldn’t the roommate had been legitimately entitled to her own rant? “What do you mean, you rented out my room to somebody else? I signed a lease. I still have all my stuff there. You can’t kick me out just because I went back home for a few weeks.”
No, I have to feel the situation here falls on the roommate. She made an agreement and then she changed her mind. The burden of clearly informing HazelNutCoffee of her new plans falls on her and the burden of making the arrangements for those plans also fall on her.
Oh, now you’re just making me paranoid
I have one idea about this: talk to her mom.
Tell her mom that her daughter is skipping out on the lease, and you will sue to recover your losses. Mention that a lot of employers do background searches that would unearth a judgment like this, and she might have trouble getting a job with this on her record.
Mom will pony up the bucks.
I suppose she would. But I can’t bring myself to drag her parents into this. (I also think we’re a bit too old for that; we’re in our mid-20s.)
I’ve decided that if she truly believed that I was trying to walk all over her, maybe I can understand why she did what she did (even if I still think it was irresponsible and just wrong). But I also told her that if she really does think of me that way, then there’s no reason for us to stay friends, despite what she wrote in her email. She can’t have it both ways. Either she’s screwing me over, or I’m screwing her over; neither way leaves room for friendship anyway.
I vote for dragging her shit out on the porch and setting it on fire.
Don’t tempt me! I just exchanged another bout of emails with her.
Me: I’m sorry you thought I was treating you like a doormat - I hope you understand that wasn’t my intention and that I respect you as much as any of my friends. I want us to put this misunderstanding behind us.
Her: That’s okay. Everyone treats me like a doormat.
:smack:
Now she’s thinking about just leaving all her shit because she doesn’t think it’s worth the gas to come and collect. Leaving ME to dispose of it. Maybe I WILL set it on fire.
Drag it outside, pin a note on the front of the pile that says “This is what happens, Larry,” and set it aflame. Take pictures and attach them in your reply email.
Tell her you are happy to help her find a cleaning/trash removal service in Chicago if she’s not able to arrange it from New York. She can pre-pay the fee to them directly, and you’ll meet them to let them in.
Word. Do NOT let her leave you with the responsibility of not only paying for her but also cleaning up after her! The fact that she can’t be arsed to come get her crap does not make it your crap to deal with.
You could always move your stuff out, then put a “free for all” on Craigslist. Only, make sure you and a burly guy friend are there to make sure people don’t make off with appliances and such. I did that with my last move, and it worked well (I was sans burly guy, but I also didn’t feel I needed one).
The rest, GingerOfTheNorth and Weirddave very kindly hauled to Goodwill for me.
Two words: yard sale. She’s not worth greater effort than that, and apparently she doesn’t want her stuff anyway. Additionally, if the yard sale doesn’t actually provide enough cash for the rent, you can still take her to court over her half of the rent. Just make sure you have it in writing that she doesn’t want her stuff anymore before you sell it.
Well, it’s time to decide which is more important, the money or the satisfaction.
Odds are you won’t get the money any other way, and you will spend more cleaning up her crap. Believe me, unless she’s left some valuable stuff behind, she’ll figure out that it’s cheaper to abandon it than to have it shipped to NY, and you’ll have to pay to have it hauled away.
If you want the money, go the parental route. If they’re decent folk, they will cover this so not to be drenched in her shame.