A few weeks ago, my wife was out and about with all the kids. A woman approached her and commented that she (my wife) had four kids.
My wife turned to show the baby in the shopping cart and the woman exclaimed:
FIVE? What were you thinking?
Now my wife is wise and tactful. She just left withpout a word and that may have been the right thing to do, we both admit we wish there was some appropreate comment, rude or not to shoot back.
I’ll bet the SDMB can help.
I would have said “Love to chat with ya sweetie but my darling hubby is at home with the 3 oldest waiting for me”.
Cynical reply: We only raise them for meat.
Heartfelt reply: We were thinking how much we love them. Wouldn’t you?
Best reply: Gather children, turn on heel and walk away without a word.
Mrs. Furthur
“I don’t know that we were thinking. It’s called passion. Do you remember ever having that?”
“Oh, these? We never have figured out what causes them. Do you know?”
“Actually, we’re just doing our part to populate the world with good people, who aren’t rude enough to ask questions like that.”
Or not.
lol
gotta use that one sometime
Without having been there, it is hard to be sure exactly what the woman meant; it is just remotely possible that what she was thinking was something along the lines of “oh, you poor dear, it must be such hard work for you”, but that it just came out wrong.
“Children are brain cell vampires. By the third one, you forget how to think anything at all” (said with the sweetest, most vacant smile possible).
Alternative: "Asking a rude question?!?!? What were you thinking?!?!?
(Counting hurriedly) “One-two-three-four-five . . . Omigod, where are the quintuplettes?!”
How about something clever, subtle, and perfectly appropriate:
“Fuck You”
“At least I can think.”
Well, I’d like to have given furthur’s reply of “We only raise them for meat.”
But I’m not usually that quick, especially when ticked off, so I probably would have said “Bite me” instead.
A way to make her feel like a total ass is to whisper,
“They are all adopted.”
Was the comment MEANT to be rude? When I read it I took it to mean the same as another poster above: “you poor thing, working so hard, etc.”
Yeah, I think the speaker was rude, but probably was just momentarily taken aback at the thought of all the work. I’d have looked startled for a moment, then said something like, “Hahaha. Yes, they’re a lot of work, but they also bring so much joy into our lives, blah blah blah.”
Just because someone adds a little rudeness to the world doesn’t always mean it’s a good idea to add a little more.
“I was thinking: It would make me very happy indeed to have a large loving family.”
How about “Which of them do you feel don’t deserve to be here?”
StG
One of five children
I was thinking you had miscounted.
I was thinking of more than four kids, and less than six.
I was thinking you would use your inside voice.
What is this “five” you speak of?
If you had my [husband,wife], you’d shag [him,her] everyday, too.
Oh, the other five usually take care of them, but they’re working in the coal mine this week, so I’m babysitting.
We’re trying the “quantity, not quality,” technique for finding a rich heir to take care of us in our dotage.
Rude comments deserve rude answers, such as “I love to fuck and these are the trophies that prove it.”
These are cool, S.O. and I are laughing out loud.
(she says that from the tone of voice, yes the lady was being rude)
I love these responses! But when I am faced with a rude questioner, my standard response is, “Why do you ask?” It serves as a reminder that the question is out of line and it puts the other person on the spot.
If she or he says something like, “Oh, I was just curious,” then you can respond with “Yes! Yes, you are!” Just keep smiling.