This reminds me of a true story about my sister-in-law from about twenty years ago. She and her husband had adopted a son and about a year later adopted a daughter. One month later she found out she was pregnant and later had another son. With all three under three years of age and in a shopping cart at the grocery store a lady approached her and asked if they were all hers. She replied, “Yes they are, but they all have different fathers!”
I have five kids, and my wife came home in tears one day when some woman said: “Well, you are just a baby making machine, aren’t you?!” I think most guys would reply with something like, “Actually, my wife says I’m a fucking machine.” My wife said nothing.
I like the raising them for meat; faster faster, faster, …; Oh God Yesss; and I can see why you stopped. Of course LSL had a good idea, too, and some day I have to meet LifeOnThe Wry.
I might use these some day. (I may agree that it is better to be polite, but I’m a wise ass, so the geewhiz answer would have to be given by my wife.)
Some of mine:
Whisper in an aside, “Can you believe my husband thinks there all his?!”
“Your husband (or father) and I weren’t thinking, we were …”
(Mine are very blonde): “We’ve already got offers for $50,000 a pop down in Mexico.”
Of course, being from Arkansas, I would think that’s funny…
“We used to have six, but the oldest asked strangers rude questions.”
“I hope this rubber doesn’t break”
I left food out and they keep coming around, what can I do?
“I hate to tell you this, but there are no children here. Have you been taking something you shouldn’t have? or not taking something you should?”
I shit you not, while I was reading this, the first thing that crossed my mind was, “Now how in the heck does she know what Matt Damon’s back hair look like?!?”
It cleared itself up though.
On to the OP…
I love kids, when I have the opportunity I want like 6 or 8 of the things (whoever I marry will have a say of course, probably larger than mine). I’ve always wanted to answer that remark like this:
"We were thinking we just can’t get enough of each other. Why don’t I introduce you to the little darlings. This one is IUD, this one is pill, this one is condom, this one is rhythm, and our youngest is tubal ligation.
Oh my God. Seven sentences. Like the fourteen knuckles in my hand. I feel one with the universe.
Break out in a heart warming rendition of “Every sperm is sacred” (Monty Python)
I was thinking of sean connery. You know like your husband does…
How about: “I’m sorry, I can’t stop to chat. I have to go pick up the welfare check”
StG
I was thinking my family size is mine to choose. What do you think?
“We’ll I’d love to stay and chat but you’re a total bitch” - Stewie
Seriously though, with situations like that I just stare/glare at them for 15 seconds in silence until they leave or I do.
I *love * these! I knew I could count on the SDMB!
click here and tell me if your feeling would be hurt for hearing that rude comment:
http://groups.msn.com/TheFauxFamilyDavidandPrajna/december2003.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=504
I’m thinking of trying out all of the potential daddies before I pick one to marry. (Patting your belly) I’m trying out bachelor number six right now!
I have five children and my response to a statement like in the OP is usually. “Thank You, now I know I didn’t leave any by the video games.”
“I was thinking that my reproductive choices were between me and my husband.”
Awww…can I have one or two of 'em?
Eh, Some peopleare just socialy inept. When I was married I (we) had four step and one bio kid. We would get comment klike this all the time. I think these people (not all) just think they’re being funny and not rude.
After all you DO have to admit five chill’ns is a bit above average these days.