Ruffian will find you a Lifemate. Satisfaction guranteed.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

SDMB’s favorite sweetheart has offered to find everyone a significant other. Well… She didn’t exactly offer, but if you can read between the lines, like I can, its pretty obvious she wants to put everyone together with their perfect match.

So, ladies and gents. Put your names in. Ruffian will describe your perfect mate, right down to shoe size and oral sex technique favorites. Her matchmaking skills cannot be surpassed. Check the back of your favorite tabloid The National Globe. They call her one of the ten best matchmakers left in the United States. They also laud her cookies.

Trust me, she can pick the your mates like she can pick the horses. Before you know it you single guys and gals will be in the winning circle with a wreath around your neck holding your beautiful brand new sweety’s hand. (Please don’t break your legs, though)

pat

2

Well this should be interesting… go for it Ruff!

3

I’ll throw my hat into the ring as a “gimme”.

4

Well, I guess I am just about pathetic enough to reply to this thread. Ruffian, if you require specific info, feel free to ask…

5

Mr. O. B. Fusciatrist! Get yer ass back in this house RIGHT NOW!! Not even three weeks and you’re already tossing yer hat in.

[grumble grumble]

6

She caught ya she caught ya, nah nah nah nah nah :wink:

7

This could be scary…aww what the heck, do me Ruff.

8

If you would be ever so kind, ruffian.

9

i’m in ! lets see what happens :slight_smile:

10

I thought this was my job. Oh well, back to the drawing board. :frowning:

11

What the hell, Pat? What lines were you reading between? She never mentioned anything about setting everyone up (well, at least not to me).

-Brian

12

Sure, sign me up, so long as Brian there won’t kill me for it.

13

Well Ruffian said this to DRY over in the pit.

My addled brain jumped to the conclusion. :slight_smile: I read between the lines to see that it was just a typo. The real message should have been:

I am just hoping Ruffian doesn’t kill me too painfully for starting this thread.

pat

14

Sounds good, but can we skip the mate and just pick me some good horses?

15

ruffian,

pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplesdepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplwasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!!!

i’m oh so lonely. and in need of a partner. please please don’t let me down… sniff sniff

16

She was going to make the price of getting one for me (miracle work, I know) my bringing a copy of her Oral Sex Techniques thread to the next LA doperfest.

So…I post a link to it, and I find out she’s giving it away gratis??

:frowning:

17

Go ahead, Ruffian–maybe you’ll describe my secret crush…:wink:

18

my secret crush is evilbeth, ever since I found out she’s married and bi just like me.

shhh don’t tell!

19

Guess what I found?

20

Yes, Ruffian, please describe my perfect mate.

But it better not be my ex-wife…