This really is kind of a IMHO/Pit thread, but since it’s About This Message Board I’m going to post it in Comments on Cecil’s Columns. No, wait, that’s not right.
Anyway, I want a rule that says “no direct pitting of users with less than six months or 600 posts.” It wouldn’t end anything, but it would slightly cut down on the number of trolls/socks that register to make some asinine point in a different forum only to have the troll/sock feeders come out to Pit “SHITTYUSER123, come on down” and discuss how obvious troll is trolling. Enough.
I’d also make a rule that Jerry Springer threads started by users with less than five months/500 posts (I’m arbitrary like that) are only allowed to go up to 50 posts before being locked as an obvious sock trying to get the Pity Partiers’ attention. If the poster continues on as a member for a while, sure, let it re-open or let him/her repost with updates in 30 days. If the topic is really hot, then it’s up to Skald or his minions to re-post it as a hypothetical.
I hate to screw up a simple rule like that, but since I’m pretty sure four to five percent of those sob-story attention-whoring posts are actually in earnest and made by Dopers who don’t want to whine/expose themselves before their peers (but trust and want the collective advice of the Dope), I’d allow them to email a mod/admin of their choice to ask permission for a pre-established, rotating sock account. Whoever gets LameO314 for the month can vent their spleen until someone else comes along and needs it.
First, I’d make a rule that I get to be Queen. Since I am, in fact, female.
I don’t understand any of your rules, Rhythmdvl, so I can’t comment on those. But please remember that some of us are queens. I mean, female. You know what I mean.
Particularly, if the OP has been banned, any thread opened by him/her/it should be automatically closed. (At present, some are closed, but others are left open.) If the topic is important/amusing enough, someone else can start a new thread.
I can’t be too specific about the rules, because of the rule against calling someone a troll outside the Pit (and general prohibition on calling out socks). Basically, no pitting of people who just joined. It’s not to protect those little angels, it’s more of a DNFTT thing.
Kind of the same thing with the continual stream of absurd sob stories in MPSIMS. Bullshit they just found this Board and figured it would be a good place to ask about the unrequited love they have with their sister’s best friend’s wife or pet poodle or whatever heartache they can muster. Just, bullshit. There’s a steady stream of two to three posts like that per week of one-off posts by people with tragic or twisted life stories. No chance it’s not a handful of board, pathetic people. (ETA: agree with Vinyl Turnip, but think it’s more than one lonely person.)
The Board has a strict anti-sock policy, but it lets that glurge through on a regular basis. My king-for-a-day rule wouldn’t eliminate it, but it would temper it a bit.
Also agree with Czarcasm’s idea of closing threads from one-offs to either avoid cruelty or troll-feeding.
Oh, and as King, I’d re-open the store at least for mugs and t-shirts and monetize the shit out of affiliate links.
I wouldn’t allow any threads to be closed, ever. Locked threads are annoying. Move them to the Pit if they don’t fit in any of the other forums or if they generally suck. If an OP gets banned and people make fun of him, good. Banned posters deserve ridicule and abuse.
I decree that this board have a Box. (Like Giraffe boards does)
For those who don’t know, a “Box” is a forum where trolls or unruly posters get sent in lieu of suspension. Said posters are ONLY allowed to post in that forum. While other posters are encouraged to stop by and poke the unruly troll with a stick and watch him or her hiss in response.
Gods no - the trolls will post outrageous shit elsewhere just for the dubious “privilege” of being put in the Box.
If I were Godking, I’d throw the moderation open a bit more - have more like a dozen moderators per forum, open that shit up to more viewpoints, kind of thing. Nothing wrong with the current mods, just have more of them.
I would make a separate sub-forum for Sports. You could then easily find the actual sports threads without wading through all the Dungeons and Dragons, card games, change the first and third letter of a word in English to make a word that means the opposite in Spanish, check out this totally awesome new video game, etc. threads.
Or, just change the name of the forum to Stuff I Must Share. It feels equally heartless to read stuff like, my mother died, I’m getting divorced, et cetera in a forum whose name labels it as Mundane and Pointless.
This is single handedly the best suggestion I’ve ever heard. Also considering that you can get a thread locked if it is deemed as “too mundane and/or pointless.” I got a thread locked where I was trying to talk about farts, because it was too pointless.