When someone tells you to stick your hand into moving machinery and is not willing to do so themself, do not trust them.
When merging onto an expressway from a stop sign, look in front of you before you press the gas pedal to the floor, not after. Even if the car in front of you started to move and had plenty of time…
Let’s just call this one 82
82. Don’t try to make yourself a martyr.
Never send a note to one of your girlfriend’s best friends indicating that you might possibly have made a mistake when you hooked up with your GF, and that you’d rather be with her (the friend) instead. They WILL talk about it.
Assume the waiter at the Mexican Restaurant is not lieing when he tells you the plate is hot.
<anyone else notice that the rule of this thread was broken immediately?>
Never attempt to strain pasta wearing only a bra and panties
Never ride a tricycle with roller skates on
Never say, “I never get pulled over”, because you will, within 24 hours of comment.
Do not, in the presence of any female, when the conversation is getting loud, say the words "I used to be . . . " followed by any word that could conceivably be misheard or misinterpreted to mean “fat”.
86.(I checked the post count,)The fastest way off the second floor is not neccesarily the best.
87.when some one tells you, "I don’t know anything about computers, believe them.
When the boss is approaching your desk and you frantically press alt-tab to get a screen that looks like you’re working, it’s perfectly obvious to everyone what you’re doing.
The words “I’ll do you a copy of that photo you really like, i promise” are always lies, damn lies.
Don’t buy the mango. You’ll never eat it.
Fran
If disassembling a disposable camera, do not assume that the capacitor is fully discharged, even if the battery is removed.
Don’t try to stump someone with trivia unless you know the answer. “I don’t know either” is never a valid answer.
#106: When you finally get that date with the woman of your dreams, don’t take her to see “Halloween”.
#107 Never, under any circumstances, say, write, or even think the words, “I’m bored.” God hears you.
OH SHIT!
#108: Never tell your boss that you’re all caught up on your projects.
The Law of the Laboratory: Hot glass looks just like cold glass.
Do not walk across a room containing face-down CRTs in the dark.
Do not assume that, just because you have discharged a CRT, the CRT is in fact discharged.
Upon disobeying rule 111, override the shock and dive for cover. Implosions are not our friends.
When a flyback transformer hisses (Note: This is distinct from sizzling), it is angry and preparing to try to kill you. Duck.
When diving out of the way of a Fireball, choose an escape route not overgrown with poison ivy and vampire vines.
NOTE: Just a quick reminder that inor’s ONLY rule was that you post only one rule at a time. Makes the counting go easier.
When your trying to get the grill going, and it’s not, and your “friends” say “maybe if you put more lighter fluid on it, it’ll start”…well don’t pour the lighter fluid on.
Related but not the same…
Not everything marked “Danger. Flammable” make for a good charcoal lighter fluid.