I was shocked to read a sad news item in the newspaper today. Beloved romance novel cover icon Fabio has turned 50! I’m sure you all remember fondly his chiselled pectorals and flowing long blond locks. Young fans may have seen him in his blink-and-you’ll-miss-me cameos in Zoolander and Dude, where’s my car? Words do not suffice to express the stupendous package of perfection embodied by Fabio. Some samples:
Some people may mock him as effete Eurotrash. To those people, I say, this is someone who killed a goose with his nose: no lightweight he! Step aside, Chuck Norris! In addition to his album Fabio After Dark (doubtless available on eBay), I should also mention his body of work in this well-known series of television appearances (dieters, take note).
50 isn’t that bad! I’d take him over any of the horde of young, ugly male celebrities that are being passed off these days as ‘hotties’. (yeah, yeah, you kids get off of my lawn…)
People have always loved to make fun of that guy, and I never understood why. He seems like an okay person. He can’t help it if he’s outrageously handsome.