And his hair is gorgeous! And so natural!
What should we do with this leftover bacon?
I sure do love those campaign robocalls. I wish they’d go on all year!
All from the same vein:
I’m really glad Adobe included McAfee Antivirus with this Acrobat update.
I’m really glad Apple included Safari with this PC iTunes update.
I love all this trial version software installed on my new PC.
Bingo. Came in here to post that, happy to be beaten to it. Because everyone needs to hear it. And understand it. If you wear Crocs - your Crocs are bad and you should feel bad.
I thought of saying that, but I wasn’t sure if everybody felt that way, or only people on the Internet.
Their talents were really held back while they were in The Beatles. Their solo recordings are extraordinarily better.
Yes, I do think that your pickup truck proves that you’re more virile than I.
No I think we’re much better off paying for good TV and radio instead of having it broadcast into our homes for free. And while I’m at it, I’d like to commend the cell phone providers for raising my phone bill 500% over what I paid for land-line service that remained up during any emergency.
Glenn Beck and Keith Olberman are the most rational and truthful political commentators ever.
I don’t think Steven Colbert is funny.
Why yes, I WOULD like to hear about a special credit offer!
Hmm, if you put the word “nephew” between “8-year-old” and “a toy” that seems to be my brothers *modus operendi *for gift shopping for my son.
It started with the plush squeezy car toy that went “aaaa-ooooo-gah!” like an old-timey car horn and went on from there.
My own contribution: “I really love working night shifts on weekends when it is hot out side and the kids are making a racket. Love going 96 hours with no more than 1-2 hours of sleep at a time. Said No one, Ever.”
When my (now husband) moved in with me he heard me say “bacon keeper”. I had to repeat the sentence three times. He said "Yes, all those words are English words I know, but together they don’t make sense. Bacon comes in single serving packages, doesn’t it? "
Shortly after the 2nd birthday of my Niece, I got royally pissed at my Sister.
So I went to my local Music Store, & loaded up a cardboard box with brightly colored whistles, drums, tambourines, Irish Penny-whistles, a toy Concertina, and every other noisemaker that was constructed by a Fiend from Hell with his own three hands, and sent it, nicely wrapped, as a birthday gift for the Niece.
I wish that guy on the loud Harley who comes home a midnight and rattles the windows on our house had a LOUDER bike!
I wish those teenage idiots would sit outside my house in the middle of the night and make MORE noise.
I have strong opinions on other people’s parenting but I like to keep those opinions to myself.
Dude, I’m hungover as hell… would you please SPEAK UP?!
“Do you mind if I don’t smoke?”
My toddler toilet trained himself FAR too quickly. I miss the good old days when I had to clean his poop-covered butt several times per day.
I love how they can cram so much information in the “crawl” on the bottom of the TV screen.
Or, in the same vein: “I just love how that big graphic taking up a quarter of the screen and advertising other upcoming shows on the same network fits in so well with the content of the show I’m actually watching!”
Your clever Facebook posts have convinced me to completely reverse my political views.
Why, yes, officer! I AM driving drunk!
Pay only $25 to check my bag? I insist on paying you $50!
Either your niece is now a musical genius, or your sister hates you. Maybe both.
My brother and his wife are the “No kids for us, thanks!” types so I never get a chance to reciprocate. Unless I get their dog an annoying toy. But then again, I think their dog is annoying. (FTR I love dogs, just not theirs)