I think you should just ask her what SHE thinks about everything, without you committing to anything. She was shopping around 'out of curiosity?" Yeah, right. Listen, bf is a goner, whether he knows it or not, and whether she knows it or not. I sense that she’s already in the preliminary stages of dumping this guy, but she wants you for a sounding board on her technique for giving him the bum’s rush, and to help her determine any flaws in her plan.
I’m also curious if you really are the only person in whom she’s confiding this.
Not a good situation.
I don’t see your friend as clearly blameless either. Even suggesting something like this would really cause stress, doubts and lots of other emotions for a lot of people. There a few people who can handle open relationships, but probably many more who can’t.
Even asking the question would completely freak out my wife, for example, let alone following through.
I can see how he initially agreed to it, but then changed his mind. Not the best approach, but also not unlikely as he didn’t realize how jealous he would feel.
They need to really talk things through, but as the situation has gotten tense, then counseling may provide a little calmer place for the conversation.
Since a child in involved, I hope that can work things out for the best, whatever that is.
I feel for the boyfriend here.
What the hell do you do when your long term partner, who has a child with you comes to you and asks if he/she can have sex with another person?
The fuck?
Now, the boyfriend at this point should have done some soul searching and made a decision that he knew he could live by. But I’m leaning towards shock and not knowing what to do for his premature decision.
That’s how I would re-act. I’d like ot think I’d immediately pack my bags and bid my slut SO a not so fond farewell and move on with my life, but who knows, I might react differently. I might cry and be scared that if I say no I’m going to loose her. I’m really not sure how I would react. It would be painful, that’s for sure. I would wonder if I’m doing something wrong.
So, it amounts to not having enough info. All we have is her side of the story, and there’s always two sides to this type of drama, and the truth always lies somewhere in the middle.
Did the boyfriend feel pressured? Was he scared that she would leave him if he said no? Was it really just a matter of him thinking it would be hot, and then changing his mind in order to hold something against her?
Also, what the fuck was this girl thinking about? Did she really think that having sex with someone else was going to fly with a long term partner? You have to be with a particular type of person to get away with that, and she should have known if her boyfriend is that type of person or not.
Fuck, there’s a lot of things I haven’t tried, and I’m still young. And yet I don’t have the slightest inclination to fuck up what I feel is true love for the sake of banging 4 blond Swedish volley ball players, no matter how awesome that might be.
Which leads me to think that this might have been a pretext for his girlfriend to leave the relationship. Maybe she’s gay? Maybe she just wants out so she asks for something she expects to cause problems?
Clearly, he should have demanded to watch the show. Problem solved.
As it is too late for the Right Thing to happen… It’s too bad for the kid. I think once you have a kid, your “experimenting” time is done til they’re 18. She should have had her fling before she was a mom. If she can understand that, and wants to raise her kid with the father, they could maybe work it out. But he kinda sounds like a jerk anyway.