Well, I might be simple (that’s what they tell me) but mine IS a grilled cheese sandwich. 1 slice of Butternut bread, buttered (NOT MARGARINE YOU HEATHENS!) side down in a frying pan, topped with one slice of Kraft American Cheese, sprinkled with a cut up slice of boiled ham from the deli - cut it into 1/3" x 1/3" pieces - reserve 1/3. You also get extra points if you use the Oscar Meyer ham and cheese loaf. Cover that with 1/2 slice of Kraft American Cheese. Give the other half a slice to the dog. Sprinkle on the remaining ham, cover with one more slice of cheese, then another piece of bread, butter side up.
Cook in a covered frying pan on VERY low heat - like 2 - until golden browned. Flip, repeat.
I don’t know what “wholemeal” or “sweet cure Danish” or “Irish bacon” are and I’m not exactly sure what a splodge is.
However, the other day, I grilled chicken leg quarters until the bones could be extracted with just the weight of the leg. I shredded the meat. I made a vinegar/tomato/mustard/tobasco barbeque sauce, and put it all between two grilled buns with coleslaw dripping with mayo for a condiment; that was near the best sandwich I’ve eaten in a long time.
