SanibelMan is not my friend

The BBQ Pit
21

OK, this horseshit has gone far enough!

GuanYu, everyone here thinks you are a troll…we tolerate you for the sole reason that it amuses us to insult you…get a fucking clue.

Sanibelman, everyone here thinks you are an articulate, sincere,thoughtful,intelligent young man, we are proud to know you. Your posts are always welcome and they contribute in a valuable way to the ever changing landscape of the boards.Do not even think about leaving because of the above mentioned troll.
Oh, and I would like to see the judge in his chambers… :wink:

KIDDING!!
Whe I read the op, I couldnt help but think: “Wow, Sanibelman must be relieved!”

22

The court apologizes for the delay in his response (damnable Challenge-Athena satellite system…)

The Court will be lenient, but the Plaintiff is trying my patience. You must respond, in the proper format by 9 a.m., 6 OCT 99. The proceedings will continue then. The Defendant is directed to prepare his opening statement, per the Court’s first post, and be ready to present his case promptly at 9:30 a.m., 6 OCT 99.

Furthermore, neither the Plainiff nor Defendant will post to this thread outside of the Court’s format.

The Plaintiff is officially sanctioned. Please, sir, prepare your case and post it. Your meager attempts at garnering pity from this Court are contemptable. You shall be censored if this continues.

The Court cares not a whit what your name means nor how much schooling you’ve received.

You have brought an accusation against a SDMB poster. Support your contention or suffer the consequences.

Furthermore, the Court urges the Plaintiff to acknowledge the Defendant’s motion for witness guidelines. I’m inclined to agree. Should the Plaintiff wish to argue against it, he is directed to make a separate post, after his opening, stating why he feels the motion should not be granted.

GND – You may not apply, though you may be called during the questioning phase.

grrrl – Just keep the noise down.

Pony – Bailiff, remove the Jarheads and Wingnuts from the courtroom.

Moriah – Next week I open the inappropriate innuendo proceedings.

kellibelli – I’ll excuse the Canadian carousing.

Court is in recess until 9 a.m. 6OCT99.

23

Hey Chief, how’s Floyd treating you? Local paper says naval vessels are taking a beating. Local paper is also just about worthless, though.

Moriah: Watch it! That’s how we lost the Chief in the first place!

Anyway, I’ll get out of the way of the proceedings.

24

RECESS!!! I’m first on the swings! I called it, I called it!

The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik

25

Objection!

Your honor, this is a travesty of…

What are those bailiffs doing?

Hey, put me down! This is an outrage! I will… You won’t get me out the door!

Slam!

26

YOU’RE out of order! YOU’RE out of order! THE WHOLE TRIAL is out of order!

Sorry, just always wanted to say that. Carry on.

27

Rule Number 42:
“All persons more than a mile tall must leave the courtroom.”

28

Gallery: “mumble, mumble, chatter, chatter, harumph, harumph, gasp, mumble”

29

(yelling defiantly at Your Honorship ChiefScott)

YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!

GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME BAILIFF, I’M GOING OUT FOR MORE CHEETOS!!!

(Going out to lobby with orange fingers)

“…send lawyers, guns, and money…”

 Warren Zevon
30

Satan respectfully volunteers to dole out the punishment at the conclusion of this trial.

Yer pal,
Satan

31

Omniscient shall be consulted on all facts rendered, and veracity will be determined for the court.

32

I ask for no pity from this motley court. I was simply replying to questions asked me by other board members, and, as for the explanation of my Chinese name, I thought you might be wondering why in the hell I chose it .

“ADD people don’t suffer
fools gladly”
–anonymous

33

1)I wish for SanibelMan to quit my presence and to let me be. Most of all, however, I would like him to evolve into a vertebrate. The sole reason why members of this message board support Sanibelman is because he flatters them. Almost every time people have disagreed with him on the SDMB, he has apologized profusely, whether he was right or not. Thus, my requests are that he leave me be and that he quit being a coward and a wimp.
2) I want the aforementioned outcomes for this trial because he has been as abrasive and as vehemently crude as I can think of a human having the ability to be. He follows me whenever I’m spotted by him, and yet, if I disagree with him for some reason (possibly because he is a dolt), he insults me with a snide manner reserved for one’s greatest opponent. When he once came to my house, he was extremely rude to my family; he did not follow any of the rules that have been laid down in my house–for instance, he picked my shizi gou (shihtzu) dog and almost dropped her on my tile floor, he never said thank you, and these were the least of his attitude
's appearances. Anything else that he did I would consider personal and inappropriate to be discussed in court. Yes, this suckup has a meanstreak, and that’s why I want him to do the abovementioned actions.

“ADD people don’t suffer
fools gladly”
–anonymous

34

If I Went to your house, I would slap your mama’s face and yell "YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD AN ABORTION!!!"

Then I would RAM that shitty little dog right up your prissy ass!

I think Sanibelman showed remarkable restraint.

Bite me judge!
Where the hell are those cheetos?

35
  1. If the court shoud decide in my favor, I will ask that the Plaintiff be removed from this message board. He has not been able to contribute maturely to this board, and has only insulted its members.
  2. I believe that I am entitled to that outcome because HIS rude and boorish behavior on this board should not be tolerated. The evidence that he presents has all taken place outside of this message board, and I believe has little relevance to this case; however I will respond to his accusations.
  3. About the visit to his house: While I may have once picked up the dog, it was never in any danger and when I was asked to leave it alone, I did. As for whether or not I said “thank you” when leaving his house, I distinctly remember thanking his mother, as a hostess, for giving me permission to come to their house and use my spare time with GuanYu (however much a mistake that may seem now).
  4. I do not have any new points to amplify with the Court; however, I will amplify the above points at a later date with the character witnesses, if the court shoud allow it.

Thank you for your time.

36

:::slipping Kelli some lithium…:::

Some mornings it just doesn’t seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/zettecity/index.html

37

harumph

38

The Court awaits the Plaintiff’s objections and responses.

39

Hmm, there seems to be TWO Guano-yus posting - one intelligent and articulate, the other ignorant, boorish, and illiterate.

SM, you’re not filling in for this guy when he can’t get to a computer, are you?

BTW, SM was here first, and has been an asset to the board. GY came along later, allegedly because his ex-friend, SM, told him about this place, and has been a rude, arrogant pain in the ass.

Gee, what a hard decision to make!

The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best. - Henry Van Dyke

40

hmmm…Both sides seem equally convincing and persuasive. We don’t want to see this drag on, like OJ.

Your Honorship, ChiefScott, maybe this should be settled in the old, time-honored tradition of trial by combat. It could be unarmed, or (my personal favorite) with heavy, blunt instruments.

Just a thought, Your Honor. Also, apologizing His Judgeship for previous loud and undignified outbursts.

As a last request, Your Magnanimous Font of All Wisdom And Justice, can I order out for pizza for the peanut gallery? I had to give Kelli the last of the Cheetos before she goes postal in these sacred chambers of justice. I even have coupons.

“…send lawyers, guns, and money…”

 Warren Zevon