I don’t have children, but was wondering how parents today feel about telling their kids that Santa will be coming and bringing gifts.
I also wonder about the other fact they might have to relate a few years later.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus…but if your kids ain’t named Virginia, where do you stand on this…
Was/Is Santa a fond memory, or do you think it was a set up?
The absolute awesome joy of watching the awesome joyousness of kids waiting for Santa to arrive is not to be missed.
Santa RULES, OK?
I am… conflicted on this one. Our Skeezling will be 2 this year, and is sharp enough to grasp the concept of the fat jolly guy. We haven’t started the indoctrination/debunking yet, but it seems the moment of decision is fast approaching.
You’ll note I said I am conflicted. The general consensus seems to be that telling a 2 year old a big fat lie is not only acceptable, it is required. Mrs. Skeezix, her folks, and mine all think I’m a heartless cretin for wanting to not lie my ass off. I just dunno.
I can understand the point of view that it’s all in good fun, and kids need some magic in the world, and alla that, but…
It’s still a big fat lie, when you get down to it.
I can get behind this. But I’d be happier if she was that excited that I got X for her, because I knew she’d love it, instead of letting the credit go to the guy who only works one day a year.
OTOH, it’s pretty benign as far as telling tales goes. And even if we tell her the truth, while still keeping up the facade with a wink and a grin, I just know she’s gonna get sent home from school after making most of the rest of her kindergarden class cry by telling them the truth…
So I really have no idea.
[sub]I keep getting this image of Calvin’s dad messing with the kid’s mind, and wondering how this is all that different.[/sub]
I believed in Santa when I was a kid, and I have nothing but joyful memories of that time. When I found out “the truth,” I understood that everyone had pretended because of the fun and magic that circumstance created, and from my perspective it was absolutely worth the effort. I wasn’t disillusioned, I didn’t feel betrayed, nothing like that. I would not trade those memories for anything.
I respect the opinion of those who feel differently. But my son still believes in Santa. And I still will not 100% rule out the possibility that Santa’s really out there somewhere. After all, when he finally comes back, he’ll only give presents to those who believe.
I never considered Santa Claus a lie. Santa Claus is part of the spirit of Christmas. We only use the big fat red dressed jolly man to be the emblem of that spirit. My son is 22 years old, and has a 16-month old son of his own. Santa still comes to my house and always will. He wants it that way and so do I. It’s just the magic of the season. He fully understands the true meaning of Christmas, coming from a Christian family, but he also understands that Santa is the fun part…and he’s known all of this since he was about 12 years old.
I remember when all his friends told him that Santa wasn’t real. He came to me all serious and hurt, asking me, “Mom, is Santa real or is it you?” My answer to him was, “Son do you want Santa to be real? Because in my home he always will be because that’s what I want.” End of case. My son didn’t speak of it again and Santa still comes.
I was never taught to believe in Santa, and I never felt like I missed anything because of it. It wasn’t even until a few years ago that I just realised I didn’t remember ever believing in Santa, and I asked my mother about it and she confirmed I was never taught to. No big deal, really. I don’t think I could work up the enthusiasm to teach my own children about Santa, but maybe I’ll change my mind about it when/ if I have them. It isn’t something I feel particularly strongly about one way or the other.
Santa is one of my favorite memories. When I finally figured out he wasn’t “real” it was explained to me that he indeed was real, that he was the embodiment of what Christmas is all about, love, the joy of giving to others, etc.
I was indoctrinated into the SSS, Secret Santa Society so that Santa could continue to live in men’s hearts.
I wasn’t taught to believe in Santa either. I was told about him like any other fairy tale, and more taught that he was an image of giving and goodness - and that some other kids thought he was real, so don’t spoil the surprise. My parents would label one big toy as being “from Santa”, for fun. Years later, I asked Mom when I’d learned Santa wasn’t real, and she told me about this. I’d always loved Christmas a lot, so I don’t feel like I lost anything.
I’d asked her because my friends were all talking about the various ways they’d discovered that Santa isn’t real and how horrible they felt at the time. In particular, my husband decided to hide behind the Christmas tree to see Santa, when he was about 5 years old. Instead he caught a glimpse of his mom and dad coming in with presents, and he stood up and yelled, “You lied to me!” His dad got mad, and it just wasn’t a pretty scene.
I don’t think I ever spoiled any Santa beliefs, but I was a good kid. Someone will end up spoiling the secret, more likely than not. Plus if you grow up without a lot of money, like I did, not believing that Santa is real helps Christmas seem less unfair; you know that it’s not that Santa thought you weren’t very good compared to other (wealthier) kids, but that your family doesn’t have much money.
I believed in Santa as a kid, and to this day, when I go back to my folks place for Christmas, there are still presents under the tree listed as being “From Santa”, including gifts my parents (presumably) are giving each other.
I don’t remember when I found out Santa Claus wasn’t real, but there was one year which put an end to any doubts my brothers and I had. One December we were messing around in the basement when we came across a pinball machine hidden under some blankets. When we called our parents on it (one of us wanted a pinball machine), we were told it was for the neighbors. When an identical pinball machine appeared under the tree labelled “From Santa”, we were told it was an astonishing coincidence! Then again, when one of my brothers wrote his letter to Santa, he did include page number, item number, description and cost from the Sears Christmas catalog.
Santa Claus for me is a warm memory of love and of the joy of giving anonymously so you can share the pure joy of the person who gets an unexpected gift. Now if only he’d stop giving me underwear for Christmas!
CJ
Skeezix the solution to your problem is simple. Just let Santa get your child socks and underwear, a new toothbrush, or batteries.
Plus point out how judgemental Santa is while you give her unconditional love.
I figured out Santa wasn’t real when I was 7, but I wasn’t disappointed. Same with the tooth fairy, Easter bunny, etc. My parents still hang a stocking for me, even though I’m 19, and I’ll only be disappointed when they stop. I’m still a kid in their eyes (and mine too - I’m such a 6-year-old inside), and when the stocking goes, I’ll be very sad. I think they still hang one for me because of an incident in 8th grade that left me angry and depressed. It was around Christmas time, and my dad’s office was having a party for the kids. Well, my parents brought my sister and me along, but I had to bring my Spanish homework. So basically, this Santa character was there, handing all the kids presents. Did I get any? No. But my sister got half a dozen. My parents wouldn’t even let me go see the clown, and they made me sit at the table and do my homework. I couldn’t even concentrate on it because I was trying to hold back tears, and I had to go to the bathroom several times because I couldn’t hold them in. I wasn’t jealous because I didn’t get any presents (ok, maybe I was a little…), but I was angry because they made me sit at the table and do schoolwork when my sister got to have all the fun. They should have just left me at home. They figured I’d understand and be “mature” about it, but at 13 I definitely didn’t come anywhere near mature. They were denying me my right to be a child, basically. I think they figured out that it really upset me, so from then on they gave my sister and me equal treatment around Christmas. Last year I even got the Lite Brite I had wanted since I was a little kid! I’m such a toy fiend.
Yay for fat guys in weird outfits distributing toys to kids both old and young!
Let them figure it out themselves; that gives them a sense of being smart…that’s what I remember when I confessed to Mom and that’s what my kids told me.
It did take them a while to realize that Santa was just an idea; all three of them are about the same age. They attended a French school for the first six years of their academic lives. My youngest was really excited because he would get to see Santa twice; once at school and once during a Christmas event organized by the American community. “Man, that Santa Claus at school was nothing but a French fake!” Next year, he realized that his Dad was playing Santa Claus at the American Christmas event. He said he had figured it out himself at school; his brother and sister quickly agreed that they had too.
For myself, I cannot remember ever really believing in Santa. I can remember being 4 or 5 and thinking that those labels looked a lot like my mom’s handwriting (she wrote in all caps to disguise it a little) and knowing it was a fairy tale. I was not bothered at all by it. But my folks never really pushed Santa a lot; it was there, but not a big part of the holiday.
Fast forward to now–we have a 2-year old, and last year we agreed that while presents would show up overnight, we would not be talking a whole lot about Santa or emphasizing it as real (before I realized that that was what my parents had done). So what has happened?
The Kidlet has, of course, had Santa on the brain since late this summer. He’s practically her imaginary friend. When she’s pretending to make a birthday cake or distribute food, it’s ‘for Santa.’ She talks frequently about Christmas and occasionally demands Christmas songs. I have no idea where this has come from; I did not mention Santa or Christmas over the summer. OTOH, she doesn’t seem to see Santa as gift dispenser; she doesn’t talk about presents, and when asked what Santa does during a birthday cake making episode, she replied, “Um, he eats cake.”
I was right into the Santa thing - also the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. I’m glad I was; I think it’s well cool for kids to have that.
My mum was really good at all this stuff, and had instant answers for my (genuinely curious and non-cynical) questions about the practicalities of it all.
Mum, how does Santa get in if we don’t have a chimney?
Heeey - he’s SANTA!
Mum, how does Santa get to all the millions of kids in the world in one night?
See above.
Mum, you said that Santa’s elves make all the toys, but mine are from Toltoys, Mattel, etc…
Santa is much more busy these days because there are more kids in the world. He gets help from the toy companies now. (The Heey - He’s Santa rule mysteriously did not apply here.)
How come Santa leaves the toys all over my bed and my room for me when I wake up, but some of the kids at school said he hides them around the house?
Well, different mummies give birthday presents in different ways too, and Santa knows what each mummy likes.
But how does he know?
Heeey - He’s Santa!
Mum, how come the Tooth Fairy was called Rosie Rosebud, and now she’s Itsy-bitsy Mitsy? (As well as money, mum used to leave little notes in tiny handwriting.)
Ummm… because aah… remember we moved last year? Well, there’s more than one, and Rosie Rosebud just does the Sydney metropolitan area, and Itsy-bitsy Mitsy does the Central Coast and Hunter regions up to, but not including the Taree municipality! phew
All these questions were also thrashed out in a kind of Primary (elementary) schoolyard Great Debates. Looking back, I always thought those Darwinist types looked smug. Hell, I was a fundie!
I’m another one of those heartless cretins who won’t be able to lie to their kids about Santa.
I think I was about 5 when I figured it out, but my parents refused to admit it until I was 7. Maybe they were just a little too enthusiastic since I was a first child or something. But in any case, in our house, Santa was REAL. I felt so insulted and betrayed when they finally came out and said that I was right, there was no Santa. For years I had known it, but they had told me complete lies over and over again.
To this day I’m still a tad bitter about it. My dad thinks it’s just so cute that I still have resentment toward the whole Santa issue. :mad: But it was the First Big Lie, and I was such a trusting child. If they had told me from the beginning that it was a fairy tale, and embodiment of Christmas spirit, etc., I would’ve kept the secret to myself and enjoyed the holidays.
That is exactly what I plan on telling any kids I may have. Santa is a wonderful symbol of giving and caring, not some creepy old man that breaks into your house.
I was never taught to believe in Santa, and I’m a little bitter about it. My older brother and younger sister were taught about Santa, but it seems that my parents couldn’t be bothered when it came to me.
We were never told Santa was real, like others have said he was introduced as another fairy tale creation. I don’t feel like I missed out on anything. For me Christmas always was and is more about family and religion than Santa.
Methinks I’m dragging Mrs. Skeezix out to the den tomorrow night, and sitting her down in front of this thread. Quiet a few of y’all have expressed what I wanted to, but much more eloquently.
I don’t want to be a Santa-atheist hardliner, and lay down the law that there shall be no mention of his name in my presence; I just can’t bring myself to lie to the kid. We have fun watching Elmo, and “talking to Elmo” on the phone (a toy Elmo phone, natch, and she’ll talk to that red bugger a lot more than she’ll talk to our out of state relatives, on the real one) but there’s no sense that Elmo’s a real person. We go through much the same drill with Oobie, and Daddy’s eyeless hand is just as much fun as the guy on TV. (The Oobie on TV doesn’t eat noses, either, but that’s neither here nor there.)
The adults in our (extended) family use him as a convenient scapegoat for anonymous presents, be they genuinely nice gifts that a bunch of us chipped in on, or cheap gag gifts purchased with the express purpose of busting one another’s chops. Like I said, a wink and a nod, and keep it fun. If all else fails, though, I’m goin’ with Zebra’s plan.
Oh, umm, Bob Cos? That’s The Great Pumpkin you’re thinking of, there.
I’m with Bob Cos on this. Not only did finding out the truth make me appreciate the effort my parents had gone to, but there was also the “coming of age / I’m a big kid” part too. To my mind, the believing in Santa, then finding out the truth, was a win-win situation.
I agree with TheLoadedDog above, but also to say that there was a twinge of sadness associated with finding out that Santa was not a dinkum fella. It IS like becoming a big kid, and somehow leaving part of childhood behind. It is full of promise and also some regrets. But, hey, that’s part of growing up isn’t it??